What does the Corona come to teach? To say thank you if the kids are ready to stick a fork in the Schnitzel that the ketchup touched. • And why would the surprise eggs still cause the children to lose respect for Dad?

• Illustration: Ze'ev Engelmayer

If kindergartens and lower classes do return to work on Sunday, May 3, 3 and 5 will be my new lottery lucky numbers, and Sunday will always be my first. Conversely, if the return to the routine is delayed again, for some reason, I'm going to settle down in the Judean Mountains (it turns out they are pretty close to the lowlands). Don't forward me calls.

On the other hand, if the corona comes to teach me something, it's that I can survive much more than I thought. This, and also in the bathroom, to which I used to run in times of distress, has 16 tiles throughout, 9 laterals, and a ceiling that needs some work.

I used to be scared when they said on TV that it's going to be a rainy Saturday. "How do we burn all the Sabbath with the kids without going out?", I would ask. Now that sounds a little ridiculous to me, after burning with the kids a whole epidemic.

What else does the Corona come to teach us? Until the epidemic we were not full time parents as we thought. That saving money is not as difficult as we told. And instead of being stressed about whether the kids are eating or not eating their lunch, you can just make schnitzel and flakes. Yes, as we entered this closure we hung on the door the list of fruits and vegetables recommended to eat in alphabetical order and colors, and today we say thank you if the children are ready to stick a fork in the Schnitzel that the ketchup touched and was not around. 

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is true that feeding this corona is a real premium excuse, but for now the kids are developing habits, and like empty calories, these have an annoying tendency to stay. On the other hand, we have to choose our battles. Because parents, especially in such an unprecedented closure, live in a war zone, and who has the power to fight all day. So we gave them the schnitzel, the screens, and sometimes the bedding toys, but in the battles we choose, we usually win. Because they are much smaller than us, you know.

Whatever the case - the pressure cooker is beginning to bubble, and today we light up at the moment with things that wouldn't have moved us a month ago. It's not just that the people of Israel decided that the closure was over and dragged on all the relevant institutions, it was just time. True, we will survive another week, and we proved that we could carry a lot more, too, except we don't have to prove it to anyone, and it's time to get back to life a little.

This whole period seems to us at the moment like a dream that lasts one long night. Maybe like this Facebook group of Lebanese immigrants, it will take us a while to get to the right perspective, but at least we will go back to being annoyed by sane things - an unfair salary, a disappointing friend, the traffic jams - and we won't be ruined for a whole day because we caught the kid stealing delicacy and going to eat it behind Closed door.   

It seems to me that our parents did not go through the emotional roller coaster that we pass today with the children, and not just because of the closure. They did not publish many half-sensible sentences that were ejected from our mouths, and should not be helped by empowerment mantras every time we had a little life. They just lived life, and they survived, because that's what people usually do. That's what we did now. 

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The surprise egg assembly toys will still cause the children to lose every drop of respect they have for me. Whenever they come to me with this yellow plastic hiding in the egg, I pray it will be cheetah. With the cheetah I have no problem - four small pieces that I arrange in four seconds.

The problem is that, like life, the surprise egg also usually brings with it the most problematic challenges, and so I have to struggle clumsily with tiny portions of pelicans, lemurs, and other animals that I make up there just to postpone the moment when the kids find out I don't know all.

To be honest, Kinder eggs have been a problem for me for a long time. Sometime in my military service, somewhere in the mid-90s, a girl came to our base who injected some color into our dreary desert life. She liked me a little, but in those days, the maximum time I did with girls I liked was to exchange glances that I saw as not significant.

One evening I sat down with a friend at Shkam about Borax Pizza, which was then still considered an innovative thing. He told me he was going to start with the same girl before anyone else did, and asked if I thought he had a chance. I wanted to tell him she liked it a bit too In my eyes, but instead I told him that I noticed she had a unique affection for Kinder eggs, and offered him to get a large egg pattern and fill it with 30 surprise eggs. I told him she would not face the gesture.

Of course I was right. The idea, stayed with the meaningful looks and Borax's pizza as a consolation.If 

I have kids, this egg has come back to haunt me, with its smeared chocolate and all the sparkle Symptoms frustrating. And a number of non-sensible that there is any packet: three. What exactly am I supposed to do with the toy egg Third, if I only have two children? Chocolate I still can cross in two, but a toy that damned there is no solution.

I can of course Buy two packs, then there will be six eggs, which can be divided in two. I can also hide an egg in the depths of the refrigerator, only in that case it loses its behalf, then have to import chicken special from Switzerland Stdgor her until she returns usual taste.

I guess best thing is Eat the third egg myself before they become aware of it. Anyway, that's what I've been doing so far.

The truth? Overall, I quite like having these eggs around. True, they mostly cause quarrels between the children, but they also make them behave so nicely in the minutes before their division that it's hard to know what comes first - the flattering of the father or the chicken. It would have been almost perfect had it not been for my mediocre success in dealing with assembly toys designed for ages 7-11, and that memory ever since.  

shishabat@israelhayom.co.il