Midwife Elli Limmer and cancer doctor Dr.
Folke Schriever experience something moving in their job.
Dorfen -
Christmas is the festival of love and life.
The Christ child in the cradle also represents the gift of life.
But suffering and grief are also part of it.
A midwife and an oncologist share their experiences with life.
“Life is a task that we are given in order to master it.” That is how Elli Limmer, who has been a midwife in Dorfen for 41 years, sees it.
She has been present at over 1000 births, and has accompanied twice as many babies and mothers in childbed and pregnancy care.
"Every birth is an emotional moment," says Limmer.
Even how children come into the world are indications of what kind of people have found themselves on earth.
“Sometimes you have the feeling that temperament and character traits are already given at birth.
Some babies get started right away and are full of energy and strength in life.
Others take it much more calmly. "
This individuality can also be determined when it comes to suffering and dying.
Prof. Dr.
med.
Folke Schriever has treated and accompanied people in their most difficult times for decades.
The medical director of the hematology and oncology ward at the Dorfen Clinic, who also works at MVZ RetiMed, has to deal with seriously ill and dying people on a daily basis.
“It is a very stressful situation to deal with someone who is in the process of dying.
You have to adjust to each and every day, ”says the doctor, who enjoys great trust from the patients with his calm manner.
It is always a challenge for an experienced medical professional to give a patient a bad diagnosis.
"That is a maximum of stress because it is not clear how the patient reacts." The main factor here is whether a patient has already had experiences with a serious illness, for example with family members or friends.
In any case, the patient needs “time and space to come to terms with his situation himself,” says Schriever.
Coping with a bad situation is something that midwife Limmer is confronted with again and again.
For example in cases in which the first breath does not even come: the "silent births", in which it is already certain that a child will not be born alive.
"That is extremely stressful for everyone involved," says Limmer.
Because these so-called star children are born like a healthy baby.
Afterwards, mother and father hold their child in their arms so that they can say goodbye.
A situation that often seems unbearable, "but is so important for the parents," says Limmer.
It is no less bad when babies are born seriously ill or die of sudden infant death in the weeks after the birth.
Limmer also accompanies such parents.
Because the grief work usually only really starts in aftercare.
“The mothers are in childbed just like a woman who has had a healthy child.
It just takes time to process everything. ”Because everything is then different than planned.
Everything was prepared for the child, be it a bed or a changing table.
"It's very emotional," Limmer whispers very softly.
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"Every therapist should have a glimmer of hope": Oncologist Dr.
Folke Schriever has been helping patients for decades.
© Anton Renner
Does belief play a role in such situations?
"I have the feeling that there is a higher power that accompanies one in life," says Limmer.
“It's a tough time.
Relationships also diverge because everyone deals with grief differently.
You grow together, or you break in such a situation. "
A learning process is also a serious illness for patients and relatives.
"When diagnosing cancer, it is above all the environment, family and friends that are challenged," says oncologist Schriever.
It is often very difficult for individuals to get out of the negative carousel of thoughts without help.
For Schriever, it is particularly important that a practitioner "approaches it professionally and keeps your own fears and feelings in the background so that you do not find yourself in the position of pity".
But of course a doctor is only human, "and some fates go to your heart," admits Schriever.
Despite all the suffering, the doctor draws a lot of positive from his profession.
“I live from the certainty that I have stood by another person in an extremely difficult situation.
That gives me a certain satisfaction, even if I can't save every sick person. ”And there are also cases in which patients heal spontaneously.
“Every patient hopes that they will survive the tumor disease.
And of course I hope so too.
Every therapist should have a glimmer of hope, otherwise he is out of place. ”The doctor also needs hope,“ that although the path one takes with the patient is very difficult, there is little chance of a cure Has.
But you have to go the way with determination. ”Because positive thinking is very important for patients.
What about the personal fear of death?
Schriever: “Of course you think, especially in the first years of your studies: For God's sake, could I get something like that too?
It is very natural.
In the course of being a doctor you get a certain serenity. ”But he also keeps asking himself:“ What would I do now in this situation in which the patient is? ”Schriever emphasizes:“ It is important to be very life-affirming.
You have to have a solid structure, be satisfied with your social environment and your family.
And you need a balance. "
Often the question arises as to what the meaning of life is.
“Everyone has to answer that for themselves.
Do I have to work so much every day, can I make it easier for myself?
What does quality of life mean?
Just don't sit on the sofa.
Life is also a job, work, tension and relief in leisure time. "
But then Schriever also becomes thoughtful.
“As you get older, you start to think more that life is finite.
And then it becomes clear to you that you shouldn't put off some ideals that you still have. ”And how does midwife Limmer view the question of dying?
Her answer is short: "Death is part of life."
