For fall b. Ethan is a pioneer, but she does not fall into stereotypes • The fact that, as far as I know, the first trans poet to publish a book in Israel does not mean that transness is a significant part of my identity. "

• Fall b. Ethel

  Photo:

  Yanai Yechiel

"This is a conceptual book written for a year, dealing with questions of guilt, survivor's guilt, death, addiction, life on the margins of society, alienation. I originally lived in Tel Aviv, moved from south Tel Aviv to Haifa, and then something in me loosened up and I felt I could write these songs. People in my life have died in the last year, and I just wrote about it, and that is what came out, ”says Autumn B. Athelan on her book "Flashback," which is soon to be published in "Tangier," edited by Lauren Milk.

It started from a song cycle that Ethel wrote called "Songs for Diana," which was published in the anthology "Will Come and Come Home Woman" (also edited by Milk and published by "Tangier"), published earlier this year, centering on songs and stories about sexual trauma and its consequences.

Do you have a therapeutic aspect in writing?

"No, I don't believe in writing as a therapeutic tool," replies Ethan. "I don't feel it solves anything to me. People write about what they know and what they know, what engages them. When I wrote Flashback, what kept me busy was Memories of the past, dealing with my life as an addict, with death, and even death, are very great anxiety. I don't think it's therapeutic, it's just what kept me busy at the time. In my next book, already in writing, what concerns me are much more Universality, related to childhood and discovery, among others. "

When we talk about the next book, she says: "There are a few more books on the way, I hope. I just want to sit down and write. Books have been my best friends since I learned to read. Jose Garcia Via is my favorite poet in the world. The poets in the history of mankind. It is a pity that he is not well known in Israel and not so abroad. I make sure to say his name at every opportunity, maybe people will start reading it, maybe eventually translate it, "she smiles." I won't translate it, really petty, but I wish it did. I also really love religious books and religious texts, ”she adds.

Express a voice that the company doesn't want to hear

"Soon I will be 27, I live in Haifa, I am a social activist - in the LGBT community mainly, right now between jobs, raising a dog and a cat," says Autumn with a smile as I ask her to say some details about herself, for those who did not know her and her songs. In the poem "Autobiography" she writes: "I was born under the sea / at the point where the sand / abandons the water / and becomes dust. / At the age of fourteen / Burning dust stuck to my skin, / No matter what I did / I couldn't wash it. / At twenty I had a bad habit - / At twenty-four I got rid of him. / At twenty-six / The dust turns into mud / And I look at him / Flows into the sewer. "

Ethel's poignant poems, some characterized by specificity and concrete, linger for a moment and break it down into its small parts, and thus succeed in translating into words and feelings and conveying them to the reader. For example, in the song "ECT": "I saw how you electrodes your forehead / And your beautiful curls / Wet with sweat and lubricant. / Peaceful ECT / Waiting room with metal chairs / Quiet tight as a bullet / Occasionally shouting. / The lesbian nurse with the autistic son / Love us especially. / When we got home / went out to buy cigarettes / And lost on the way back, / In the alleyways of Hope Market at night / I searched for my love and did not find it / In the defense street in front of Dilek's Borax, / Under a broken streetlight. "

In the Hadstart project that opened for "Flashback," it is noted that Ethan is the first transgender poet to publish a poetry book in Israel.

Do you feel your shoulders have a role to represent the community, to voice it?

"I think if my voice represents a particular public, it's not necessarily the trans people specifically, but something more inclusive that the trans community is part of - people who are on the fringes of society, a voice that society doesn't want to hear. The topic that concerns me most in my artistic work is dehumanization My transience is reflected in the fact that as a transgression I am thrown into the margins of society in many ways, but equally, I feel that I represent addicts or people who are very sensitive - not necessarily the trans community.

"But, Baron once told me something that very much stayed with me," she adds, "that I have to think that my book is the book that I, as the transgender sixteen-year-old I was at the time, would like to have on the shelf. So yes there is this element too, but I do not write from the trans, and engaging in gender does not interest me or engage me - although it is very fashionable to deal with it in the art world today. It is not something I think of even as an artist. "

Are you worried some readers might not see your personal voice in writing beyond that face of yours?

"I think it's the expectation of every artist, to see it and not the titles that relate to what people think is their identity. It's that, as far as I know, the first trans poet to publish a book in Israel does not mean that transness is a significant part of my identity. As a trans, I will represent the community in my writing, but I just see myself as a woman for everything, I am part of the community and I am a proud trans, but it is not a very strong identity component for me. The fact that I am a clean addict, for example, is a much stronger identity component for me ".

• "Detached from Reality": The Anti-Gal Gadot Network

• Lior Schlein paid his employees salaries from his money

• This is how YNWA became the world's corona anthem

• Did Disney predict the Corona crisis?

• Financing songs violated the quarantine and assault rules