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Going for a run every day (symbol photo): We all overestimate each other
Photo: Thomas Barwick / Digital Vision / Getty Images
The drama is always the same, performed at the turn of the year: people want to change for the better.
You take on big things and come up with ambitious plans: the man who never exercises swears to go to the gym for at least 30 minutes a day.
The woman, who answers emails until midnight, plans an hour before bed to read books to relax.
The man who had just eaten his second dessert renounces sugar.
Sabina Nawaz, arrow to the right
advises executives from all over the world.
Her clients include boards of directors of the Fortune 500 companies and heads of government agencies, as well as nonprofits and academic organizations.
We overestimate ourselves
We have all experienced something like this.
When we encounter a problem that we should change our behavior about, we rush to the immediate big solution - only to find ourselves in a self-destructive cycle of failing again and again.
We are programmed not to give in and to pursue our goals with ambition.
That burdens us more than it motivates us.
Because we have to make an enormous effort if we want to achieve extremely high goals.
At some point we lose sight of them because we have too much to worry about.
Then if we miss our goals, we get into a downward spiral.
We lose heart and shy away from further attempts at change.
We don't make progress like this, we move backwards.
We eat two desserts again, don't exercise, work too long.
There is a relatively simple trick to putting your weaker self on the chain: Do less.
You tend to achieve big goals with small steps - through micro-habits.
These are the little pieces of a bigger habit.
How it works?
To do this, they break down a large task into several small tasks that they can do more easily.
Over time, micro-habits will help you achieve your big goals.
For example, when I started running, my micro-habit was to have my workout clothes ready the night before and put them on first thing the next morning.
When I finally made it to the gym, my next micro-habit was walking on the treadmill for ten minutes a day.
Two years later, I ran my first ten-kilometer race - something I'd tried unsuccessfully for decades.
Goals that seem unachievable are suddenly made possible by micro-habits.
The more banal, the better
Achieving change through little habits - this idea is not new.
But implementation causes problems for most people.
We are taught to think big instead of being bothered with small things.
Perhaps it seems ridiculous to deal with a trivial, tiny plot.
We think it won't get us any further.
So let's not waste time and don't even start.
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Yet even a tiny change in our routine is harder than most of us want to admit.
The reality looks like this: A major change in behavior overnight is extremely unlikely - otherwise most of us wouldn't constantly fail.
But we also underestimate how much we internally resist even small adjustments.
Every change in routines and learned behaviors is exhausting.
Five steps
To be successful with micro-habits, you need to be careful.
Plan your steps so that you can stay on the ball in the long term.
1. Do simple things
It usually takes my workshop participants three to eight tries before they come up with something small enough to be viewed as a micro-habit.
If I tell you that an hour of reading an evening is too long, reduce it to 45 minutes, then 30 minutes, then further.
Finally, I say, "You will know you are micro-habit level when you say, This is so ridiculously little that it is not worth starting."
This could happen if someone resolves to read only one paragraph in a book each evening.
In our workshops, the participants only receive recognition if they have reached the minimum barrier - not if they go beyond it.
Less is more here.
2. Establish the new ritual firmly in everyday life
The advantage of a micro habit is that it requires minimal effort every day.
It is important to do it like a new ritual every day so that it becomes second nature to you.
If the habit is small enough, you will be less tempted to put it off until the next day.
However, regardless of the size, it's easy to get distracted, make up excuses, or forget about the ritual.
Link your new act to an old habit that you don't need to think about.
Have you made up your mind to read a paragraph every evening?
Do this while you are brushing your teeth.
Do you want to meditate for 30 seconds once a day?
Do this while waiting for the coffee to go through.
3. Measure your progress
When it comes to documenting your success, the following applies: Simplicity is the key.
Fill out a yes list every day.
You only need 20 seconds for this.
Write down the action you want to take and simply add a Y or N after each date to indicate whether you completed the task.
The yes list offers a number of advantages.
It can be used to determine, for example, whether you are making progress or regression in your efforts.
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4. Curb your ambition
It's hard to make up little habits in the beginning.
It's even harder to stick to small habits.
Like my client Jake.
His micro habit was to do two pushups a day.
After putting "Ys" on his yes list ten times, he was eager to do more.
Over the next two days, he did five pushups.
He increased the number to ten, and a short time later added a 20-minute training session.
The sad result?
Within two months, Jake had given up training because he had expanded his goals unrealistically quickly.
The lesson: Only when you have been bored with your new habit for at least two weeks in a row.
Then you can increase - but only by around 10 percent.
5. Find support
It might sound strange to hire a partner to check whether you really read a paragraph or do two push-ups every day.
But this person provides important assistance: He will hold you accountable if you don't stick to your plan.
This solidifies your new behaviors.
Ask people who are interested in change themselves if they would be willing to exchange yes lists with you on a weekly basis.
It is best to form a group: when more people are involved, the sense of responsibility is stronger.
Plus, if someone drops out, you're more likely to pursue your goals.
The simple act of being accountable for not meeting your almost embarrassingly small micro-goal can be enough as motivation.
So feel your way forward with mini-steps until you have automated the new behavior.
If you start small, you can get big results.
This article appeared in the January 2021 issue of Harvard Business manager.
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