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Katrin Wilkens
, born in 1971, is a career advisor, journalist and author.
In her job profiling agency i.do she has been advising women after maternity leave to find a suitable job since 2011.
She gained her experience in the book “Mother Creates.
It is not the child that is annoying, it is the job that is missing ”.
Clarissa, 33 years old, asks: “As a die-hard marketing woman, I used to take care of the product marketing of the finest champagne, I was abroad a lot and I always got into my projects. But now I have three children, look after my mother-in-law and can only work 15 to 20 hours. Part-time jobs are rare - and when there is one, it's a better secretary job. What would you advise me to do: sit out completely for a few years or do some low-level dodging? I am so longing for my old life. "
Dear Clarissa,
I would not dismiss the work of a secretary as idiot work: They have to constantly prioritize, communicate, keep an overview and let humor trickle in when necessary.
What can be said in general: Unfortunately, level and part-time are almost always mutually exclusive, at least when it is such a small part-time as yours.
From 30 hours onwards, sociologists call the workload close to part-time full-time and from this time quota there is more responsibility, management and budget to manage.
Well, don't sit around the rest of the time selling mole monkeys.
You work, but you don't get any money for it: care work is usually not paid.
You now have three options:
You are negotiating with your husband for more working time capacity so you don't have to feel that the children and your mother-in-law are paying the price for your extra time.
Or you can use the time for further training: for example in the area of agile coaching, praise and complaint management or new work. If you want to study champagne and like it utterly crazy, a 15-month course in luxury management could also be for you. But be careful: the hurdles are high and just as elitist as the content conveyed by the subject. The connection conditions are good for this, provided you work in or near a metropolis. Wanne-Eickel-Süd is less suitable for graduates of this course. (It has recently become possible to study luxury in Germany.)
The third option that you have is very feminine, because it aims to please everyone again: You are looking for a post-corona position, i.e. a job that involves a high proportion of home office, and you are looking for yourself at the same time a reliable support backup, so that the 25 to 30 hours for a more demanding position are feasible. Perhaps you are also looking specifically for tandem positions.
You used to work passionately and will probably raise your children with the same perfectionism and aspiration now. Therefore, your mantra for the years to come should be a saying by the composer Paul Hindemith, which he once put over a score: The beauty of the sound is secondary. You can't play first fiddle at both weddings, which is why the presence of an au pair can take the pressure off your kettle, not being responsible for everything every day.
In Germany (especially in West Germany) the good mother has to be an excellent mother. In the east, women are usually far more emancipated in terms of their professional identity, and that has not changed after the fall of the wall. The beautiful term “good enough mother” comes from England. She teaches her children something crucial: The world is not perfect, Instagram just pretends, and I'm just a lack-being mother. It's actually strange that there is no such thing as a good enough father, isn't it?