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Markus, 45 years old, asks: »In my job I am very goal-oriented, but for myself I just can't manage to tackle the professional and private goals that I set anew every year. How do you advise me to finally implement my good resolutions? "
Dear Markus,
Happy New!
Yes, the New Year's resolutions is one of those things.
It doesn't surprise me that, statistically, 50 percent of them don't survive March.
After all, they are usually more the result of a tipsy New Year's Eve mood than real motivation.
It can't go well to make such personal decisions between Christmas goose and New Year's donuts.
Change and development require self-reflection and are work that can also be enjoyable.
So if your good intentions are more than the mandatory program at the turn of the year and you really want to change, then you will easily implement the following five steps.
1. Promote yourself to be the boss of your life
Take responsibility for yourself instead of simply pointing your finger at others.
The unjust boss, the bullying colleague, the stupid neighbors or an incompetent government.
And anyway, if it weren't for Corona, then you would have achieved your goals of the last two years long ago.
In this state, you can forget your good resolutions today.
It is your own attitude as a creator rather than a victim that decides whether you are on your way towards your goals or whether you are already finding good reasons why you just couldn't make it in the end.
How will you know if you are the boss of your own life?
2. Define attractive approximate goals
Less alcohol, finally quit smoking, slim down.
Out of the sick job, less overtime, no longer taking things so personally.
All of these goals, which traditionally rank in the top positions of good intentions, are avoidance goals: away from what is stressful, instead of towards better.
Such runaway destinations are extremely unattractive to our minds.
Think about what should be instead.
What would you like for the future instead of the lousy job?
Maybe an employer where you can see the meaning of your work, have nice colleagues and a job where you can make the most of your strengths?
The more vividly you picture these goals, the more intense your desire to get curious about the way there becomes.
What are you curious about deliberately doing differently this year?
3. Clarify the real motivation behind your goals
A good sounding goal with no real motivation is like a bottomless pit.
You can come up with the greatest goals, but without knowing exactly what you are spending time on, breaking old habits, or even spending money on, it will be more of an overcoming and an uphill battle than the inspiring easy change.
Suppose you want to do more sport - what do you personally associate with this goal?
Is it perhaps about more general fitness, preparation for the next marathon, the muscular washboard abs, meeting other people or the reduction of stress hormones?
What is it for you personally that is actually behind your goals?
4. Take small steps to take action
"I can never do that," I hear a lot when we talk about changes in our job and the associated goals in coaching.
No matter how long or challenging the path may be, it is important to plan the first steps, however small, as concretely as possible.
It is not about the complete, safe plan to the goal.
It is crucial to get into the change and to feel the good feeling of doing something for yourself.
What can you start with today or tomorrow that will get you into action?
5. Allow yourself to achieve goals with ease
You probably know the SMART formula that goals should be specific, measurable, attractive, realistic, and timed.
But what good is the smartest goal if you're in your own way?
Because you are perfectionist, you mustn't allow yourself to be successful, or just the thought of change scares you.
How is it by you?
Can you allow yourself to curiously discover your path?
Because then it will also be easy.
I hope you enjoy the implementation!