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On the plane off to a new life (symbol image)
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Many people dream of living far away, but few actually make those dreams come true. What drives you? How do you make a fresh start abroad? This is what the book "Lunch Break on the Mekong" by SPIEGEL editors Kristin Haug and Verena Töpper is about. You have collected stories from Germans in 28 countries on six continents. This interview is an excerpt from her book, which was published last year.
SPIEGEL:
The first few weeks in a foreign country are always exciting. Most emigrants are probably euphoric at first.
When do they transpire that they are strangers?
Dilger:
Emigrants from Germany are usually well qualified and therefore emigrate under privileged conditions.
If you start working abroad straight away, colleagues or neighbors often help with everyday or bureaucratic issues in the first few weeks and months.
But then, at some point, the help may dwindle.
This first network, which emigrants relied on, can withdraw.
Then they realize that they don't belong yet and that they must actively seek to establish new and lasting contacts.
MIRROR:
How does that work?
Dilger:
The easiest way to do this is to get in touch with people who are in a similar situation, i.e. who have also emigrated.
But then there is a risk that you are only moving in your own bubble.
If you want to establish contacts outside of this bubble, you must speak the country's language.
Because if you always want to speak in English in Latin America, for example, you are emphasizing your own foreignness.
In order to make permanent connections, you can take part in local events or get involved in cultural or sports clubs.
SPIEGEL:
But some emigrants learn the language, get involved and still don't really make it.
Why is that?
Dilger:
When emigrants move from Berlin to a small town in the American Midwest, for example, they can feel more different than in the center of Cape Town.
It may be that they do not get along in strongly conservative places, that they cannot find social connections there.
This can depress them, they can have the feeling of remaining a permanent stranger.
It can also be mentally and physically taxing.
SPIEGEL:
What should people do then?
Dilger:
If you realize that the place where you live is not the right one, there is an option to move on.
That doesn't mean leaving the country right away, maybe it's enough to move to the next larger city.
SPIEGEL:
What does it depend on whether a new start in another city can then be successful at all?
Dilger:
Many aspects play a role here, beyond the professional and social.
A new beginning can be successful if you can generally come to terms with the unfamiliar - for example with different clothing standards, with the fact that family ties or religion are perhaps more important in another country than in Germany.
SPIEGEL:
At what point should emigrants consider going back to Germany?
Dilger:
If the emigrants can't get used to the local conditions at all, don't find a connection and are unhappy, they will probably think about returning.
However, this depends not only on how well emigrants have settled into the new country, but also on the conditions in their old home country.
Has anyone maintained their family and social ties to Germany?
What career options are there after you return?
How is one insured?
Emigrants can also feel alien when they return to their former homeland.
SPIEGEL:
How should emigrants deal with it if they weren't happy abroad?
Dilger:
That certainly depends on the personality and how someone cultivated their ties during the time abroad.
And also about how you communicated your own emigration to the social and family environment.
If you have given friends or family the feeling that life in Germany is bad, the social environment could perceive the return as a failure.
SPIEGEL:
Does that mean that before you move away, shouldn't you belittle your old homeland?
Dilger:
Exactly, because if you don't do that, it doesn't automatically appear as if you failed in a supposedly better country.
But of course there can still be a persistent lack of understanding about emigration in the social and family environment.
SPIEGEL:
How do emigrants manage to permanently become part of another culture?
Dilger:
If emigrants find a good job and have a certain social status, they will be able to deal with the cultural foreignness differently.
You become more self-confident, more open, get to know people more easily, become part of a different culture.
The cultural is always related to the social.
But emigrants will probably never become 100 percent part of another society.
As a rule, affiliations also remain across borders in the former homeland.
SPIEGEL:
Will emigrants in old age be more likely to stay in their new home country or want to return to Germany?
Dilger:
That depends on how well you have settled in the new country, whether you have started a family and how deeply rooted you are in society.
In old age, but also in times of crisis, social contacts can break down, and the resilience of family ties and friendships is put to the test.
This can lead to considerations as to whether it is better to return to Germany.
Here, however, the question arises for emigrants as to which contacts they still have in their old homeland and which bureaucratic and financial hurdles have to be overcome when returning to Germany.