A gift is not the only way to move your spouse on Valentine's Day (Photo: ShutterStock)
Call it "International Valentine's Day", say "Valentine's Day" or declare that you prefer to wait for the Hebrew time, Tu Bab, which falls in the summer, no matter how we spin it: love may be free, but to celebrate love, especially against The increase in the cost of living has become an expensive task.
Speaking of Valentine's Day, the data shows that only about half of Israelis celebrate this day, compared to 75% of Israelis who celebrate the Jewish holiday - Tu Bav (and of course there are those who celebrate both), and in every However, social networks and advertisers flood us with sales and tempting offers and make us feel that we might need to buy something - just to express our love for our partner.
So just before you forget and pay dearly for chocolate hearts or a bouquet of roses, if not more, we went to talk to
Hila Kanister Bar-David, CEO of the consumer club 'Shelech' and head of the association for professional advancement - "Shahar On"
, about spending on Valentine's Day, about the question of whether financial spending is indeed required for the sake of love?
If there is no money there is no love?
What do you buy if at all and who anyway buys more?
"I'm here to help you not get confused," says Knister Bar-David, "for many of us the race of everyday life does not always allow the leisure to give special time to our loved ones, so this day, noted on February 14, is another opportunity to go out from the routine and give special time to our relationship, or to the one we would like to have. At the same time, it is possible to do it smartly without breaking the bank."
Surprise, excite and express love without opening your pocket?
It is possible (Photo: ShutterStock)
Who buys and how much?
A survey conducted by the Israeli Consumer Council shows that 55.2% plan to spend money on expenses related to Valentine's Day.
35.5% of Israelis plan to spend over NIS 100 and a third of them plan to spend over NIS 300.
Already in the days before Valentine's, the credit companies recognize a significant increase (about 50%) in online purchases, and on the day of the holiday itself there is an increase of no less than 142% in sales of products, items and services that are supposed to express love.
It seems that most buyers are men (78%) compared to 22% of women, but on average women invest a higher amount in a gift compared to men, when a woman invests an average of NIS 446, while a man invests an average of NIS 412 - either way, the average amount spent on Valentine's Day is Significant.
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Men buy more than women but in a lower amount (compared to women) for a love gift (Photo: ShutterStock)
What is more valued: money or love?
A study conducted in the United States shows that adults think more about financial security and young people about love, with 56% saying that what is important to them in a spouse is financial security, compared to 44% who for them think the most important thing is love.
Generation Z, born between 1996 and 2010, were the only ones who said that love is more important to them than money, but they too by a narrow majority of 54%.
And what about the Israelis?
Such a study has not yet been conducted here, and it is difficult to predict what the results will be.
In this respect, the only research any person can do is on himself.
The preoccupation with numbers and the preoccupation of all of us with consumption, gifts, what looks good or what feels like an investment by our spouse in us, may confuse us and make us feel that the bigger and more expensive the gift, the greater the love.
"My recommendation for those who want to invest in their spouse, is not necessarily to purchase an expensive gift, but to simply spend time thinking about the person dear to you: what she or he needs, what will make them happy and make them smile.
Sometimes it's the little things that reflect listening to needs: an experience Instead of an emotional, bare, real and personal gift or blessing, or a dignified presentation of a modest gift, these may give the recipient the pleasant feeling that they are being thought of, that they have invested in them."
Is love more important than money?
Studies show that opinions are divided (Photo: ShutterStock)
Couple economy: consideration and surprises or dependence and concealment?
According to recent studies, money in a relationship has several characteristics, with four of them being particularly common.
Financial lies -
hiding, changing amounts and rounding corners regarding how much things cost or how much we spent on ourselves, because we fear being judged or criticized.
These lies, which seem small to us and in the end are revealed in one way or another, harm us and the relationship, not only financially but also in the trust between us.
In some cases, it is worthwhile to try to talk and share feelings, and if necessary, to use external counseling that will help bridge the gaps.
economic dependence
- When one of the spouses earns less than the other, and is financially dependent on him.
It is difficult to depend on the good will of another person, and it is also not easy for the person who depends on him to be the one who manages the one he loves, therefore it is important to try and generate income that allows independence for both parties, from work, independent business or supplementary income.
And if this is not possible, then it is recommended to talk about the things and also calculate the household chores and raising the children which are sometimes not "priced" in money but definitely constitute a significant part of the relationship.
When you come to an agreement on the "resources" that make up the family unit, you realize that the financial income is only a part of it, and there are other elements that are just as important.
Financial consideration and support for the spouse
- Consideration that comes from a positive place but can lead to discouragement.
If consideration means sparing ourselves for our partner, or even being generous with a treat or a gift, but being less pleasant when we don't receive the same favor in return, then we feel that we have spared ourselves at the expense of our partner and this leads to unhealthy frustration.
It is very important to be as mutual as possible in this celebration, not to measure and manage emotional calculation because each of us has different needs.
Sometimes support and consideration can come in a kind word, a hug, in preparing a pampering dinner for both of you, and thus both of you enjoy it.
Economic surprises
- The fourth way is usually romantic, but can create the opposite effect.
Without the partner's knowledge, even if it is a surprise trip to Paris, or the television they always wanted, may lead to financial difficulty or a large and unplanned expense that will put us in a "pit", an uncalculated commitment.
You don't have to be surprised, and if so, then you should carefully check what the consequences are and plan.
Of course, you can simply enjoy small gifts and make big financial decisions together, this will also make it possible to enjoy them more.
A conversation about money can be the key to true intimacy between spouses (Photo: ShutterStock)
This is how you celebrate Valentine's Day without opening your pocket
If we try to sum things up, we will understand that you don't have to be millionaires to show love, not only a physical gift with a significant cost is the one that can express the emotion, care, devotion and support for your spouse.
In many cases, the little things have great weight: an open letter full of emotion, an experience you prepared yourself (such as a candlelit meal or an intimate and romantic picnic in nature, a walk with a glass of wine in hand on the beach at sunset, or just photos from an intimate moment that will stay with you forever
. In the power of these small actions to express what we most want to admit to our partner - our love for them!
Kanister Bar David adds in this regard that "sometimes the conversation about the thing that is not always easy to talk about - money - can be the key to true and healthy intimacy and meaningful honesty in the relationship", and wishes the loving couples "another year of good love, encouraging and full of moments of happiness, understanding, honesty and healthy intimacy".
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