Emotional support for miscarriage│Angel dad has tears and does not flick it without a mother-fetal connection like a passive victim　

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Written by: Lu Ningmin

2020-11-06 08:05

Last update date: 2020-11-06 08:05

The birth of a new life is accompanied by the joy of the family; a miscarriage experience, in addition to caring for the physical needs of the aborted woman, spiritual companionship is even more important. However, under the traditional concept that men have tears and do not flick, The needs of aborted fathers are rarely mentioned. Are they as strong as their appearance and can easily go through the pain of bereavement?

Photography: Zheng Zifeng

(Section 3 of Emotional Support for Miscarriage Parents)

Men have tears and do not flick, even if they experience a miscarriage, some "angel fathers" will choose to suppress their emotions.

(Photo by Zheng Zifeng/Picture of Information)

Yashu has experienced three miscarriages in the past four years. In addition to facing constant self-blame and loss, she also noticed her husband's efforts to suppress her emotions.

She described her husband's introverted personality and avoids talking about her grief. "In the first miscarriage, my husband had just lost his mother and completed the funeral of his grandmother. After falling down the mountain, I found that I had a BB, and it was a big blow to him." , But her husband never reveals his emotions to others. "The way he handles his emotions is to hide in his own tree."

His identity is more ambiguous than mine. I have a sound wave and I know I have a connection with BB, but I only learned from my mouth that there was a new life, but in the end I really lost it. Maybe some people think that men don’t know how to do it. It's sad, but in fact, he is looking forward to it with patience, not a few weeks of feelings, it is a long-term expectation, so I feel very disappointed, but you will not speak out, you will not shout out.

Ashu

Specifically crying her husband to let him vent his emotions

Until the second miscarriage of Yashu, her husband was equally sad, but because he was busy taking care of her, he again chose to bury his emotions. "A man really doesn’t talk to his friends around him, even if he talks with his friends. In addition, many men of the same age also have children, which makes them even less able to share emotions."

Yashu even said that he needs to cry her husband specifically to let him vent his emotions. "If people want to greet him, they have to greet me first, and through me to greet him, they will not accept counseling when they reach Yijiaqu."

She described her as a "passive victim" in her husband's world. "His identity is more vague than mine. I have a sound wave and know that I have a connection with the BB, but I only learned that there is something new in my mouth. Life, but in the end it was really lost. Some people may think that men will not be so sad, but in fact they are looking forward to this matter with patience. It is not a relationship of weeks. It is a long-term expectation, so I feel disappointed. It’s so big, but you don’t know how to yell, and you don’t know how to yell."

Yashu said that even though his baby left at a young age, there are still "evidences" such as pregnancy test sticks and ultrasound that prove his existence. However, the husband is not as good as he is connected to the fetus. "I only learned from my mouth that there is something new. Life, but in the end it was really lost."

She described her husband as a "passive victim."

(Photo by Zheng Zifeng)

Suwen, who also had a miscarriage in Sanli, recalled that her husband specially asked the company for leave to stay at home to accompany her. "There was a colleague who had a big belly with me at the same time. When the big belly colleague communicated with her husband, she was shocked to touch her pain points. do not know what to do".

She pointed out that although her husband would not blame the colleague in any way, it was still a bit difficult. "When she sees other big belly women on the street, she will feel something."

The children in this class would not be known by everyone, but now his name can be stamped upright in this book. The children in this class are the protagonists of this book.

Miscarriage woman Su Wen husband

Husband's involvement in publishing business moved the child's name to be printed on the book

Until Su Wen invited her husband to publish "The Life Education of Angel Parents" and suggested that he write a letter for his daughter Shizhou, her husband not only readily agreed, but also took charge of reviewing, verifying and publishing the manuscript.

"Men are not very good at expressing themselves. I really want to know through his text that something happened to him." Eventually, the husband wrote a long article to mourn his daughter. The husband, who was not good at expressing emotions, said to himself, "The kids in this class would never be Everyone knows that now her name can be stamped upright in this book, and the child in this class is the protagonist of this book." Su Wen was moved after hearing this.

Su Wen (left) invited her husband (right) to jointly publish "The Life Education of Angel Parents" and suggested that he write a letter for his daughter Shizhou. Her husband not only readily agreed, but also took charge of reviewing, verifying and publishing the manuscript. jobs.

(Respondents provide pictures)

As for Tianyi’s mother’s husband, she is relatively cheerful and willing to confide in close friends. Moreover, the husband and wife "blow up" and have lost a baby. They have separated a lot of unnecessary "consolation", but she frankly admitted that her husband may have blocked the embarrassment. By speaking, she did not need to touch those secondary injuries.

After she recalled the public miscarriage, she learned that many people around her also had the same experience. "Because I talked about it first, I would naturally receive a lot of condolences. One of them was an old colleague who I rarely contacted. He told me , I had a miscarriage two months ago. My first reaction was to be dumb, because I never knew what happened to him. Yijia, you comfort me and I will comfort you?” She added. I learned of a miscarriage and learned that a familiar family had experienced miscarriage in addition to the children in front of me. "It turned out that I told many people that (a miscarriage) is not easy to tell."

She believes that in addition to feeling difficult to speak, it is more important to be afraid of other people's reactions after speaking out, hoping that parents who have lost their baby will find solace in the book, "You won't let people know that you have lost your baby because of reading this book. It may be bigger than seeking counseling."

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