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Absorption standby: most likely you will fight during the holidays.
Will you be able to prevent the evil of the decree?
A new and comprehensive survey states that 74 percent of married couples in Israel report an increase in tension and quarrels during the holidays.
What can be done to prevent the expected crisis?
Sheee system
09/18/2022
09/18/2022
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Just before the upcoming holidays, marriage counselor Neta Brodiansky conducted a comprehensive and wide-ranging survey among 1,989 married women who are in her follow-up group.
Brodiansky (44,000 followers on social media), one of the most influential women in Israel in the world of relationships and marriage, asked to examine the issue of the family pressure cooker created during the holidays, its results and the possibility of preparing in advance to avoid the constant fighting that occurs around the holidays.
The survey was conducted by an analyst who constructed a series of questions addressed to 1989 married women and the data is presented to you.
27.2% of the women answered that the holiday period creates fights, conflicts and arguments every year.
46.8% - stated that the tension is rising but significant fights break out every few years.
26% - answered that they do not remember any significant fights during the holidays.
73.8% report fights and arguments during the holidays.
Yes, it looks like it will happen this time too, unless... (Photo: ShutterStock, oneinchpunch)
At this stage, the women were asked about their degree of concern about the holiday period in light of the quarrels and tensions that arise with their spouses?
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27.1% - answered that they know for sure that there will be significant fights.
16.8% - answered that they are very afraid of arguments due to the stress during the holidays.
34.7% - answered that there is no serious concern, but they expect debates on a certain level.
21.4% - completely calm.
69.4% of married women expect an increase in stress.
44.7% are very afraid and know that a crisis is expected.
Who gives up to whom?
A particularly interesting figure was received around the question - who usually gives up to whom when there is a dispute during the holidays.
38.1% - of the married women answered that the man gives up and compromises, 37.7% - claimed that they are the ones who usually give up and compromise.
24% - find a way to get agreements.
Only 1 out of 4 couples will manage to find the equal valley and reach agreements that respect both parties.
There is something to do.
Neta and David Brodiansky (Photo: Courtesy of those photographed)
Despite the clear data, only 40 percent answered that in their relationship there is a conversation clarifying expectations for the holidays.
50 percent admitted that they never prepared for the holiday.
13 percent of women claim that their partner has no strength for conversations.
52.7% answered that the issue of the address where the holiday meal will be held is a major problem.
7.6% answered that there is no agreement regarding the activity with the children.
21.9% of the women claimed that the fights break out when they carry the burden alone.
Marriage counselor Neta Brodiansky: "The survey highlights the inability of couples to have a conversation that will achieve a compromise for them that takes into account each of the parties. 3 out of 4 couples know that they are headed for a crisis and still 60 percent do not have the preliminary conversation that is necessary to avoid quarrels. This is especially painful against the background of the news that usually only one party gives up and gets hurt. The question: Who will we spend the holiday with, for example, is one that can be easily resolved by having a conversation to clarify expectations in advance. It's amazing how much hunger and energy we have to learn and invest in places that are much less important than our marital and family system."
Brodiansky says that she recently counseled a 38-year-old woman who had been married for 16 years.
She has not celebrated Rosh Hashanah with her family in the last 16 years.
The reason was - her husband's unwillingness to come to her parents' house on the holiday.
The two held a consultation meeting about the right way to communicate the message in a smart way, in which the needs, priorities and expectations of each party were studied on the way to achieving a new holiday agreement.
"The conduct before the holidays must be orderly and professional. You need to agree on an outline and have a gentleman's agreement between the spouses. If the party who wants a compromise in his direction arrives with an understanding of the needs of the other party, will respect the difficulty of the other party and at the same time present a solution that is convenient for both parties, Things will be clarified and unnecessary fights will be avoided."
Sheee
sex and relationship
Tags
holidays
Fight
