Puberty, adolescence, the "first time", pregnancy, the puerperium, the climacteric. How much do we know about each of these stages? With the conviction that "we need to know each other more" the gynecologist, sexologist and specialist in neurosciences Florencia Salort has just published her second book Nosotras. Sex, health and emotions (Planet).
There, she not only addresses these key moments but puts an end to numerous myths that still persist around the body and emotions of women.
Dissemination is a language that Salort masters perfectly: his Instagram account (@flordegineco) is a pioneer and leader in gynecology and sexuality content. That is why he highlights "the enormity of social networks as multipliers" of information: "For me, Instagram, in a way, is an extension of the classroom," he said.
In a dialogue with Clarín, the specialist referred to the challenge of accompanying the vital stages of a woman's life beyond the walls of the doctor's office. And he mentioned some of the most important issues in each of them.
Flor Salort: "The first time is not like in the movies." Photo courtesy.
Adolescence: containment and communication
This stage, which usually coincides in part with puberty, is a time when they need a lot of containment, affection, attention and communication, Salort said.
In that line, he recommended accompanying without fear and admitting that not because they are adults and adults know everything. The expected thing is "to have a respectful listening and an attentive response (even if it is not accurate)". Seeking together the resolution to these doubts is a good option.
"It is such an important and beautiful age, full of concerns, possibilities, openness, opening paths to the new. But it is a stage of great risk, we must be attentive because they need us even if they believe they are independent and omnipotent, "he said. To do this, he urged to see the warning signs and sadness and keep in mind that the teenager suffers a lot and looks a lot at the next one.
Finally, he suggested for this moment "respect silences and privacy, give them the opportunity to make mistakes, let them try and not be all the time aware that they can not be alone and alone."
"The first time is not like in the movies"
"The first time is not like in the movies. It is what each one decides and feels that it was their first time, "said the author.
How is sexual debut experienced today? "We are changing, but not so much. There is a lot of prejudice," the doctor anticipated. One of the issues around this is that "people are embarrassed to reach a certain age and not have had sex."
In addition to clarifying that "everyone does it at the time they want, that there is no obligation, an ideal date or a perfect age to start sexually" the professional mentioned that it is still automatically linked the first time to vaginal penetration. "You have to separate that thing of initiating sex as synonymous with virginity and vagina with a penis," Salort said.
"The first time, in general, is not perfect and will have little or nothing to do with the other times. Enjoyment is universal and is learned, exercised and lived in multiple ways. The only rule is to prioritize your freedom of choice and respect for yourself and others."
Those who don't want to be mothers
Flor Salort: "We are immersed in a culture that tells us all the time that being a mom completes you as a woman." Photo courtesy.
"We are immersed in a culture and a society with budgets and beliefs that tell us all the time that being a mother completes you as a woman," said the doctor in relation to all those who decide not to have children.
The endless comments received by women who do not want to be mothers – face to face or with their backs to them – includes myths, controversial predictions and very violent statements: "You're going to regret it", "It's going to happen to you", "Who is going to take care of you when you get old?", "It's because you didn't find the right one", "Don't you want to have a family?".
"Somehow, the woman who chooses not to be a mom is looked at strangely, she is judged. We continue to weigh in on people's decisions. And the woman was not born to be a mother, she was born to be," the doctor stressed.
On the other hand, he added, "you don't have to have a child to start a family." "We have to reset our mental software to understand that going through motherhood and fatherhood is an option that can be transited or not," he concluded.
The puerperium and its bad reputation
"The puerperium has a bad reputation. We are often told that it is a hard and difficult period. But for many women it's much more than that and it can be a wonderful thing — a period that can also be enjoyed," Salort said.
The author admitted the difficulties of this stage, which she also experienced: "I had mastitis, the episiotomy opened up, I did not reach exclusive breastfeeding. But it was wonderful beyond all that."
"You can be sad, lonely, misunderstood; You are a sea of emotions, it hurts here and there. But you also have to tell how wonderful it can be. And, besides, you have to ask for help, you don't have to be alone. There are groups of peers, family and friends who went through the same experience and you can ask them for advice," he said.
For the specialist, the key word of the puerperium is "communication", and not only with others, but also with ourselves. "We have to take our time to talk, to discuss the changes that are presented, the times, the routines, the tastes, the ideas and the sensations of each member of the family."
Urinary incontinence: prevention and treatment
Florencia Salort has just published her second book "Nosotras. Sex, health and emotions" (Planet). Photo: Planeta.
"We call urine incontinence the involuntary exit of pee through the urethra. They are stress and urge incontinences, respectively," explained the doctor. Most of the time, he added, it's because the pelvic floor muscles weaken. This is due to pregnancies, labor, genital prolapses, the aging of the tissues themselves and the decrease in estrogen.
Salort stressed the need not to normalize these incontinences and mentioned several prevention measures:
- Avoid lifting.
- Avoid being overweight.
- Avoid drinks that stimulate urine production and irritating foods.
- Avoid constipation.
- Do not retain pee.
Finally, the author stressed that medication, surgical methods and kinesiological treatment for pelvic floor rehabilitation are some of the options to address the problem.
The climacteric: "the golden age"
Flor Salort describes the climacteric as "the golden age". "It touches you at a time in life where you can rethink and recalculate all aspects of your life: at the couple level, at the emotional level, at the bond level, at the friendship level, at the work level. You have the strength and vitality of youth for change, you have enough perspective of life and you are old enough to realize and become aware of finitude," he said.
However, he clarified, it is a stage that requires a lot of support, dialogue and identification with the peers who go through it. Also, listening to professionals who give rise to an integral medicine.
The specialist proposed living it as "a new beginning and a challenge to be happy." "It's not that because estrogen goes away, everything ends. You have a more mature sexuality where you can understand that you have the right to pleasure, you have much clearer who you are and what you want to be. How can it not be the golden age?" he closed.
Sexuality in older adults
"Sexuality is always in one, until we stop breathing," Salort said. Photo courtesy.
"Sexuality is in one always, until we stop breathing, we are sexual because we live. There is no vaginal expiration, nor a clitoral expiration, nor a maturity of the soul to enjoy," explained the professional.
He added: "Sexuality is not only genital, at this stage it may not only have to do with having orgasms, touching, being touched or having a relationship by vagina, but with enjoying sexuality in its splendor from every point of view."
"In older adulthood we must take care of ourselves more than ever, since due to age and aging, we are more exposed." Medical checkups and healthy habits are part of living longer and better (and are also closely linked to sexuality).
Finally, Salort said about this stage: "There is no way to separate sexuality from heartbeat or enjoyment by age, you can have it until your last breath, alone or accompanied."
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