"They believed me, it relieved me": victims of sexual violence, these sportswomen dared to speak

There was Sarah Abitbol.

And behind, one.

Then two.

Then, a real media wave.

In the wake of the former skater who, in January 2020, accused her ex-trainer Gilles Beyer of having raped her, many sportswomen took the floor to tell about the sexual violence of which they had been victims.

A testimony, and then?

A year after the Abitbol affair, and the publication of his book, “Un si long silence” (Plon), three of them agreed to tell the Parisian what has changed in their lives since they broke the silence.

Their relief.

The look of the others.

And their fight.

"I freed the word of my mother, my aunts, my grandmother"

Amélie Quéguiner, ex-rider, filed a rape complaint against three former educators.

“Today I am doing very well.

I am in my fourth year of therapy, because facing this alone is not possible.

I manage to continue to talk about it, to campaign, to be active.

Already, when we manage to talk about it publicly, it is better.

I had already filed a first complaint in 2017 against my former educator, who was also my stepfather.

Sarah's book prompted me to challenge my federation and it was also at that time that I filed a complaint against two other former educators.

These two other attackers, I had not told anyone.

These three complaints had no chance of success because the facts are prescribed

(Editor's note: they took place in the 1980s).

But I think it should be done, because it allows the authorities to open investigations and find more recent victims.

Who, otherwise, do not yet dare to speak.

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I had warned my relatives of my approach.

But in the middle of the horse, it was a shock wave.

I received a lot of kind messages, a lot of kindness, surprise, compassion.

Obviously, there were two or three little thoughts on the veracity of what I could relate.

It's never straightforward, because these people are cowards.

Now it is like that.

There are still people who deny the gas chambers, others deny incest or sexual violence in sport.

Now it is good that they are talking.

It allows us to hear them and target them.

You would like to convince the entire planet, but there are bound to be people against you.

I remember a comment on the Internet.

A man had written "What wouldn't we do to create a buzz?

It hurts, but we prepare for it.

Today people still support my main abuser, people say he was in love, that I was and that I would seek revenge for something.

These are little reflections on all the kindness we receive.

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I have a small structure

(Editor's note: she owns a stud farm in the Dordogne),

three quarters of the clients of my close network came to tell me that they too had been victims.

I freed the word of my mother, my aunts, my grandmother.

These family secrets plague entire generations.

My mother, if she had spoken at the time, it could have protected me, made me think about this subject.

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I get a lot of messages from other victims.

I find myself in some stories, it's violent to receive.

We take a torrent of testimonies, we want to scream them.

It's both horrifying, but it's also gratifying to see people talking little by little.

Now, I want to make a book on the transmission of speech.

Today is the beginning of the end of the omerta.

There is a book on this subject for almost every area of ​​society.

People must realize that it is all around them.

Either we can deny it, or we can grab it.

But as much the Gailhaguet affair (Editor's note: the president of the French Ice Sports Federation who left his post after the revelations) revolted skating, as much in horse riding, everyone is silent.

"

"It's like a scar, it won't fade"

Claudine Emonet, ex-skier, accused her trainer of sexual assault.

“For a year, I have had difficult times.

We feel guilty for having spoken, we wonder if we did well to speak about it publicly.

It is not obvious, I did not want people to talk about me.

But if I had not said it, I would have contributed to the omerta and to protect from aggressors.

I did it to keep things moving.

Someone could tell me:

Now you have to move on.

But it happened, it's there.

It's like a scar, it won't fade.

There are days when you do something else and you think about it less, days when you have more time to think and it comes back.

They believed me, it relieved me.

I have this presence deep inside me, but I don't want to think about it anymore when I get up in the morning.

Claudine Emonet, ex-skier for the France team, said she was sexually assaulted by her trainer.

DR  

I understand that people cannot speak because it is difficult, especially for a young athlete.

She will be afraid of being rejected by her milieu, of not being selected and therefore of putting her career in difficulty.

The French Ski Federation has taken a big step forward by partnering with the Colosse aux pieds d'Argile association.

You don't have to stay in between oneself to manage that.

We saw that it never worked when we did that.

Now we must remain vigilant.

Many federations have signed conventions to fight against sexual violence, but what will they do at the end of these conventions?

I received little words, a lot of support.

I heard that people said I was a myth addict.

These people have the right to think whatever they want, but for them to be silent, it is indecent.

But it does not really matter.

The bottom line is that people believed us.

Some other teammates I had spoken to have also been assaulted in the past.

They couldn't speak, but everyone does what they can.

We must change the statute of limitations

(Editor's note: she says she was attacked in the late 1970s and early 1980s).

Me, I did everything to forget, I buried it deep inside me.

No one could imagine that I had experienced this.

And after that, it's stuck in you for years.

There, we file a complaint, it is closed without follow-up.

Sarah's complaint

(Editor's note: Abitbol)

led to an investigation that found other more recent victims, but what happens with less publicized cases?

I find it great that the Ministry of Sports is taking this project with a lot of will.

I said to myself that I had some use.

What should be at the center of concerns should be young athletes.

We must no longer protect the people who attack them, we must bring the wolves out of the fold.

"

"The word is freed but nothing has really changed"

Louise, a former roller derby practitioner, filed a complaint for sexual assault against a trainer.

“Today, I feel relieved to have spoken

(Editor's note: she told Facebook in February 2020 that she was sexually assaulted by a coach from her club in 2017).

I've had a lot of ups and downs.

A week after I released my story, I was almost overworked having to think about it and talk about it.

At first, it's exhilarating to tell yourself that you are not alone, but later you realize the extent of the phenomenon.

It becomes real, it is no longer statistics.

My husband knew about it, but my family didn't.

I chose my moments to talk to them about it.

I wanted to show them that it was okay and that it allowed me to move forward.

Besides that, my complaint has not budged an iota.

This fall, a gendarme contacted me to discuss another matter in my sport.

The solution I have left is to write to the Toulouse prosecutor to find out where it is.

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I had no contact with the leaders of the RSMC

(Editor's note: the French Roller and Skateboard Federation),

only with the cell they set up with Caroline de Haas (Editor's note: feminist activist who offers training against violence sexual).

The possibility of financial assistance was mentioned.

I started to be followed psychologically, it is expensive.

I'm waiting to see what it will lead to.

I don't think this free speech changed everything.

I have the impression that everything is on hold with the health crisis, everything has remained as before.

The word is freed, but listening, taking into account, the real measures, nothing has really changed.

For that, we need real sanctions, trials.

And it takes a while.

Today, I have a lot of positive feedback from people who have told me that it encourages them to speak up.

In my team, it was more complicated at the time.

Some people didn't know how to address me and avoided me.

Three of my teammates supported me at the time and came to congratulate me when I dared to speak on Facebook.

No other former member of the team has contacted me since.

"