Nice, cozy, bearable: between the promise of "marriage at first sight" and the collapse of "couple therapy"
When the couples of "Wedding at First Sight" justify their decision to stay together or separate, they talk about what they found in each other, or what they did not find and are still looking for.
Couples of "couple therapy" already know that even when you get what you want, you may wake up one morning and find out you were wrong
Strider Schleider Putschnik
Thursday, 02 December 2021, 17:02 Updated: 17:19
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A peek from "Couples Therapy" (here 11)
Couples of "wedding" say words like attraction, falling in love, touch, intimacy.
The couples of "Tifolzo" say: alone, loneliness, it does not work, liar, diminishes, despises
- Do you have a destination?
- Yes, obviously there is a goal
- what is the goal?
- to be nice, to be pleasant, to be tolerable
(Tamar and Agmon, "Couples Retreat", here 11)
What we are all really looking for, if not, simple: to be tolerable.
And if it can be pleasant, or nice - rather.
Did you get up in the morning?
Were you tolerable?
Everything else is a bonus.
Maybe this is the magical coincidence of the universe and maybe a calculated, cold and cynical placement of bulletin boards - that everyone chooses which half of the glass they want to watch it on - but where "wedding" ends and hopes for romance end, "couple therapy" begins and shows us that there are more Poorly full succeed in getting married and finding a stable relationship.
It is possible, for example, to succeed, and then find out that you are suffering together.
The couples who have decided to break up and not continue together in the season finale episodes of "Wedding at First Sight" will make a round and return to the starting point on the game board.
They will split up and continue to look for a partner to share their lives with.
The couples of "Tifolzo" (I'm trying to drown a term here, flowed with me) have already found out, and now they're trying to figure out what to do with it and why it's so bad.
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"Couples therapy" makes sure to be quiet, inclusive, anti-sensational and anti-exploitative
To the full article
There is less time left to think about what is not good in a relationship.
"Couples therapy" (Photo: here 11)
When the "wedding" couples justify their decision to stay together or separate, they talk about what they found in each other, or what they did not find and are still looking for - depending on the decision. Couples of "couple therapy" already know that even when you get what you want, you may wake up one morning and find that you have made a mistake or changed your mind. Couples of "wedding" say words like attraction, falling in love, touch, intimacy. The couples of "Tifilzo" say: alone, loneliness, it does not work, liar, diminishes, despises.
Love is painful, and a relationship is difficult. Not just finding someone or someone who is right for us. But to continue to be right for each other year after year, day after day - in the arduous toil of routine. Get up in the morning straight into a to-do list of kids who need to be fed and dressed and brought on time to school or kindergarten, go to work and be able to be there someone who has value to contribute and meet goals or singles and go out in time for showers or pick-ups, and remember each other's turn to do. And put a dishwasher and turn a dishwasher and have sex and have another child.
And sometime, while doing some of these things, because there is so much to do then always doing something or two at the same time - you suddenly realize that it's not fun.
Maybe not even tolerable.
And if you had a little more free time then maybe you would do something with it, talk to your spouse, or even just try to initiate some nice evening, couple time.
But you have none, so you do nothing.
You are full of things, there is always a lot to do.
And maybe it's good, because it leaves less time to think about what's not good.
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To the full article
I hope there will be a program in which the participants of "Wedding at First Sight" will watch "Couple Therapy" (Photo: screenshot, Keshet 12 Wedding at First Sight)
When do you go for couple therapy? When evil? When very evil? When you know it's over but do not know how to finish? Maybe when good, but there is something to improve? Anyone who watched "Couples Therapy," even for a few minutes, and was in a relationship saw himself there. Is there anything comforting about seeing that all the couples are more or less the same four quarrels? A little yes, a lot no. Yes, because there is something in the plight of many and a partnership of destiny that makes you feel less lonely, and also a little more fine. Maybe it's not you doing something wrong. If this is the case with everyone, or with the majority - maybe this is how it should be? And on the other hand, is that how it should be? It does not look like something that should be.
There is a lot of pain and ugliness on the screen of "couple therapy" - and the absurdity is that the optimistic couples, those who think there may be more to save, that are worth fighting, who are willing to come and shed all the shit (some courage) in the hope that it will eventually drain somewhere, are defeated In their own stench.
I wish there was some super-franchise entity that could produce a show where "wedding" participants watch "Tifolzo" couples: You want a relationship? Hugh Kant Handel Relationship! Sitting there with their eyes wide and hopeful, thinking they just need to find the right person for everything to work out for them. well no. We all start the road there, of course. Looking for love, and partnership, and sparks and what not. Then in the passage of time and life and after all and the picture and the wedding - we start negotiations with ourselves, with the couple and with life, and we understand that sparks is nice but bearable? Tolerable is the real prize. Because what to do that can not be amazing all the time, also can not be good all the time - we understand that, we are not dumb. So we compromise and bargain (again, with ourselves mostly) and ask only if it can be a little more pleasant, or nice or tolerable.
The people who sit on this green velvet couch in front of the caregiver, taking out of their pockets the fragments of ego and love they once had in an attempt to see if they still connect to something real that has a chance of surviving this life - are heroes and heroines.
They had already found the right man, and they had good and they had bad.
And now they deserve to be tolerated, damn it!
That someone would already make them tolerable.
A wedding at first sight
Couples therapy - series