It is important to present our dreams to others (Photo: ShutterStock)
Each of us has an inner voice in our head that never stops talking.
That voice in the head can make life very difficult at times, for most of us.
It can make us give up our dreams, the professional and personal goals we wanted to achieve - and sometimes even put us in a state of depression and anxiety.
Those who are familiar with the feelings I have described here, surely know that dealing with the inner voice is endless and extremely difficult.
But how can it be made easier?
I would like to share with you some insights that I acquired in my work in the technology division of Bank Hapoalim.
In the last few weeks I read the book "The Inner Voice" by Ethan Cross, who is an American psychologist and neuroscientist who specializes in controlling conscious thoughts - what we call the "inner voice", the inner critic, or the conscience.
These are elements in our personality and consciousness that can greatly burden our functioning at work and in our personal lives.
Cross describes in his book some practical examples that help deal with the bad thoughts they produce,
The key to the development of
bad thoughts comes to us in all kinds of ways, and sometimes we are not even aware of it.
"Don't do it, they'll laugh at you, they'll think you're crazy", or for example: "What's the point? It'll be a failure anyway" and "I'm not capable" - these are just some of the sentences we hear from the voice in our head.
You probably know yourself that he can be very cruel.
Usually these sentences also come in sequence, and they don't let us go until we despair and throw up our hands.
This is a natural defense mechanism of our brain - which we must learn to overcome.
We must remember that our ability to stop a sequence of bad thoughts is very important, because feedback from the environment (especially in our technological work environment) may weigh even more on what is happening inside our head.
What to do, we all work with people, and some of them have a different opinion than ours - and that's a good thing - but we must learn to take everything in a positive place, and not let the mental whirlwind turn every constructive criticism into a negative thought.
In order to achieve good results and achievements, we must give ourselves a different perspective, neutral or positive, which will help us avoid unwanted thoughts.
This is the key, according to Cross, to development.
The placebo effect
I adopted one of the tools that Cross described in his book for my personal work.
The method is called the "placebo effect", and it is a literal copy of the medical concept.
You give the patient an unreal drug, but explain to him that he received a drug.
The very thought that the medicine cures him, causes his disease to lessen or recede, and the patient himself feels better - even though he has not received any real treatment.
The placebo effect is designed to prove that our state of mind has a decisive effect on our performance.
I apply this with myself and with colleagues at work through guided imagination and asking questions: What would happen in a world where you would not fear self-criticism?
Where do you see yourself in a few years from now?
What will your work and environment look like?
I try to go into the details, and help myself and others create a new reality in their mind's eye.
This simulated mental vaccine creates the same effect as a placebo drug - the self-criticism seems to disappear, because you, in your mind's eye, have already overcome the obstacles and therefore received a "vaccination" against the difficulties when they come in the future.
You reached your destination, albeit by a shortened route, without difficulties and by imagination - but you managed to touch what you were afraid of.
From here, there are a few more tools that need to be applied on the way to the goal.
Tips for controlling thoughts
in order to progress in any workplace, and especially in a place like the technology division of Bank Hapoalim, some necessary steps are needed that will distract us from self-criticism, and help us grow.
Here is a short list of such tools:
1. Talk to yourself in the third person.
Formulate your sentences so that you are the subject (for example: "Ifat is thinking about a solution"), in the third person, and thus you will artificially distance yourself from the thought situation you have found yourself in.
This will make it easier for you to find solutions to the problems that concern you.
2. Document your difficult thoughts
Take a notebook or journal and write to yourself for a few days all the self-criticism you direct at yourself.
When you're done, you can read the impressions yourself, and see how you can change the inner discourse, and eventually free yourself from the difficult thoughts.
3. Meet new people
Often people we've known before may show us older versions of ourselves.
We want to avoid that, or consume our old version in a controlled way.
Therefore, it is important to surround ourselves with new people who represent to us the latest version of ourselves.
This does not mean that you should cut off contact with old acquaintances - but always be open to seeing a change in yourself with the help of a new environment.
In conclusion, it is important to present our dreams to others, without fear.
When we learn to control the difficult thoughts - and start to express our needs, others in the workplace will help us get to the places we mark.
If you feel that the negative thoughts are increasing - remember that it is not the end of the world, and tomorrow is a new day.
Successfully!
Yifat Tal is a Resources & Projects Integrator in the technology division at Bank Hapoalim
from CodeReview - the magazine of the technology division of Bank Hapoalim
In cooperation with "Hatechonologit", the technology division of Bank Hapoalim
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