Trailer of the movie "Holit 2"/Tulip Media
The score: two stars out of five/Walla! system, image processing
For some of the global audience that will watch "Holit - Part 2", the desert is a beautiful and exotic landscape.
For us here in Israel, the desert is everyday, refueling at the Beit Kama junction, the way back by bus from an annual trip to Eilat.
When I think of the desert I think of Ranger camp: four months of rookies, four months of advanced training.
I can't say I enjoyed it, but it was an experience.
And it wasn't as spectacular as in "Holit - Part 2", but it sure was a lot more interesting.
There is no reason to remain indifferent to what Danny Villeneuve's new film ("The Encounter", "Blade Runner 2049") has to offer: the design, photography, sound, effects - all of these are very impressive.
For those who come to the cinema for the sound and movement, the two "Holit" films give above and beyond.
But I'm also here, and mainly, for the story.
Stories can't work without characters that move me, and I didn't find any in the two parts of "Holit", who make sounds of a very, very long film series.
For those who missed it, it is a sci-fi epic that takes place in the very distant future, and in a brisk summary it shows the rivalry between two noble houses, the Atreides and the Archonen, for control of Arakis, a desert planet and the source of a powerful spice.
The viewer follows the House of Atreides, and more precisely, Paul: the young heir to the throne.
At the end of the first film, Paul took on the prophecy that promises that he will be the one to bring peace to Arrakis, and its dreary inhabitants.
In the second movie, Paul has to go through the path of the slayers that will secure him the trust of the tribal Derers as he leads them in battle against House Harkonnen.
Along the way, we learn more about the competing dynasties, we get a little of the sweet love that develops between Paul and Chani, the beautiful Derrite, we see how Paul becomes a Jesuit leader and his pregnant mother becomes a supreme spiritual figure (while a special bond is forged between her and her unborn daughter).
And all this bored me so much.
Zero chemistry between the stars.
Zendaya and Timothy Shalam in "Holit - Part 2"/courtesy Tulip Entertainment
Everything in the universe of "Holit" is gloomy and serious.
Apparently, the genre is binding - after all, we are here in a fantastic and respectable epic based on a literary classic.
We did not come for pressure.
And on the other hand, there is no law that forbids throwing energy into such universes: in "The Lord of the Rings" we got joie de vivre and laughter from the hobbits, in "Game of Thrones" we got exploding horniness from every second character.
But in "Holit" there is no charm or sex.
Villeneuve's direction is impressive but not exciting, partly because the script did not offer him the possibility of emotion.
There are explosions and they are spectacular, there is action and it is wide-ranging, but the battles and booms did not involve any character that moved me, so I did not get swept up in them.
You understand, in "Holit" there are no people: there are characters.
And these characters speak in special idioms, they casually throw out fantastic concepts that are supposed to build a whole world in randomness, but nothing is random in the world of "Holit": everything is big, everything has its own name and term.
On paper it might sound good, but when real players are asked to say this gibberish, they might look like they didn't understand what they just said.
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And here we come to the biggest problem of "Holit" - its stars.
Timothy Shalam in the role of Paul performs here one of the most anemic leading roles I have seen in a Hollywood film in a long time: one of the most prominent actors in the industry provides an anemic role, tired, lacking energy and charisma.
Next to him is Zendaya, apparently the star of the moment, who plays his warrior lover - and she also walks around the entire film with a sour face.
When the two finally realize their love there is not a single spark of chemistry.
Orientalist flattery to the mish-mesh of authentic folk cultures from around the world.
"Holit - Part 2"/courtesy of Tulip Entertainment
They are not the only ones who disappoint: Austin Butler as the villain on duty growls with a hoarseness that should be terrifying but mostly sounds like he owes a cup of chamomile tea after every take;
Florence Pugh is wasted in a boring role, Charlotte Rampling too;
And Christopher Walken is just there, with the face of one whose agent stands behind the camera and waves a check in his face.
Rebecca Ferguson in the role of Lady Jessica, Paul's mother, actually does a good job.
And at the point when Ferguson's handsome face was covered with tribal tattoos, "Holit" stopped boring me and started making me angry.
Very quickly "Holit - Part 2" establishes itself as a film about an indigenous culture that struggles with a cruel conqueror - and what may have passed as an interesting political commentary in the book looks like Western and Orientalist flattery to the mishmash of authentic folk cultures from around the world.
The priestesses and the Geshri girls of "Holit" look like a strange combination between Maori tribal women and fundamentalist Muslims.
The Darrems look like a silly MDB imitation of everything that sounds Arab, with names and terms like "Sheikh Khuloud" and "Mu'adib", a non-uniform accent and jokes about Ashkenazim who don't know how to eat spicy. And as in "Lawrence Ish Arab", "Dancing with Wolves" " and "Avatar", here too the honorable white will be the one who will assimilate into them and lead them into battle.
I will not return to this desert.
"Holit - Part 2"/courtesy of Tulip Entertainment
When the battle came to an end I was happy: a story that started in part 1 will end in part 2. And I knew that "Holit" was a literary classic, but I didn't know it had so many volumes!
Villeneuve crossed the first book in a sandy two-part series, which ended with a pretty clear promise of another heaping dose of all this fun.
Warner Bros. has not yet officially announced "Holit: Messiah - Part 1" or anything like that, but the movie ends on a note that makes it clear that we should prepare for a whole saga.
As a son of the eternal people I am not opposed to a long way, but I exhausted cinematic sagas of dozens of films in about 2022.
The desert is a beautiful place, but when I left "Holit - Part 2" I said to myself what I said the last time I left a ranger camp - I am not going back to this desert.
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