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Lesbian Sexuality, Model Sexuality


CHRONIC. If they are the greatest fantasy in the world, lesbians are also the best lovers, explains the columnist Maïa Mazaurette (figures in support).


In recent years, the "lesbian" category has consistently ranked as the top user of Pornhub, the world's largest pornographic platform. 2018 was no exception. France no more. In principle, 2019 should follow the trend. "Lesbian" is not just a heterosexual male fantasy: it's also the word most wanted by women.

As such, one could argue that the lesbian embodies the most exciting fantasy of the moment - and consequently, the most outrageously sexualized sociotype (to the point that it was not until recently that Google France stops sending the request "lesbian "Only to porn content). Well. That poses a solid reputation!

How to explain this success ? Fascination, curiosity, preference for the representation of women's bodies (which would be "prettier"), inclination for content considered intrinsically more tender? Probably a little bit of all that.

But besides this power in performances, lesbians "win" also on the ground practices. 86% of them still or often have orgasms, compared to 65% of heterosexuals and 66% of bisexuals (Chapman University, 2017). More than 25,000 women were interviewed to get these numbers, so let's face it: lesbians are the biggest fantasy and the best lovers in the world.


This does not prevent the representations associated with their sexual techniques to be in a binarity fem / butch worthy of the 1980s: on my left, ethereal Sapphic caresses performed in fields of orchids to my right, orgies leather and unbridled dildo in dungeons. Practiced, to my left, by glabrous androgynous gazelles (with a lark tattooed in the hollow of the kidneys), on my right, by old rough amazons like sandpaper (with a pruner tattooed on the scar of the mastectomy?).

These stereotypes reveal the persistence of a binary thought ("who makes man, who makes woman"), which oscillates between repulsion ("it's disgusting") and idealization ("women have more intense orgasms, long and transcendent than men "). Meanwhile, according to SOS-Homophobie, lesbophobia is wreaking havoc: + 66% of physical attacks between 2017 and 2018. We did not get out of the "cursed turf" of the hostel.

Article reserved for our subscribers Read also "Spectacular" increase in lesbophobia cases, according to SOS-Homophobie

So let's get to the heart of the matter: lesbians rarely have penises ("rarely" because anatomy does not freeze identity, as shown, for example, trans). This a priori sexuality without penis produces more orgasms than sexuality with penis. How it works ? What are we doing ? What's the secret ?

Well, to begin with, let's go back to the paragraph above and cut off its implicit phallocentrism: Lesbian sexuality is not a "free" sexuality. Women have a sex (even if this information has a little trouble getting into the heads of psychoanalysts of the old school). We talked about it last week, in the chronicle dedicated to erogenous zones: women are even more culturally gendered than men. Thanks to their marvelous complexity, they can combine or decompose the explosive zones that are the clitoris, the vagina, the anus, the breasts, the mouth, the lips and, who knows, the elbows and the shoulder blades.

Widely beyond heterosexual standards

What do they do? According to a survey of the lesbian sex brand WetForHer (conducted among nearly 2,500 clients), it is in terms of the duration of the report that the differences are the most spectacular. Half of lesbians have sex between half an hour and one hour, and 14% have sex for over an hour. We are far beyond heterosexual standards.

This duration is not compensated by a lower frequency. The cliché of the lesbian couple living in a sexless companionship is in a bad way: two-thirds of the women surveyed have sex at least once a week. It is among lesbians that we find the least number of women who would agree to live in a couple who no longer makes love.

At the level of the "sources" of jouissance, we will not be surprised to learn that lesbians use the most effective organs: 96% of them have an orgasm by clitoral stimulation, 57% by vaginal stimulation, 6% by anal stimulation. They are doing well because in France, 75% of them are sexually fulfilled (against 65% in England).

At the level of the repertoire as knowledge, it is very simple, the lesbians win all the way: 100% of them have already masturbated (Ifop, 2019), against 77% of heterosexuals; 91% say they know their body well (79% of the straight); 77% have already watched porn (47% of the straight), 56% have already used a sextoy (44% of the straight). They are also more likely to have experimented - and to continue to experiment, actively and passively - anal pleasure (from sodomy to the insertion of a finger, not to mention the caress of the language).

And penetration, in this story? It's part of the toolbox, practiced with the hands, tongue, harnesses, single or double-ended dildos, vibrating, with an extension that touches the clitoris, etc. These sextoys "penetrative" do not necessarily imitate the penis: the emblematic model is one that "extends" the fingers, but if you prefer eggplants or horns unicorns, no problem. And since we talk about penis, remember that 64% of lesbians have already had sex with men ... good, however, only 20% liked it (which is not ultimately such a bad score) .

Read also Enjoy and enjoy differently: how to choose a sextoy?

What about the famous scissors technique, which was controversial when Abdellatif Kechiche's film La vie d'Adèle (Palme d'Or of the Cannes Film Festival 2013) was released? Julie Maroh, the author of the comic book Blue is a hot color that inspired Kechiche, then spoke on his blog " a brutal and surgical display, demonstrative and cold lesbian sex, which turns to porn ". Well, this scissoring , as the Anglo-Saxons say (tribadism in French), is part of a set of practices consisting in putting in contact and rub the vulvas (you can consult the dedicated Wikipedia page). Some lesbians like that, some do not. Simply because "the" lesbian does not exist.

Finally, the first concerned organize themselves to transmit their knowledge and their fantasies: on Amazon, the request "KamaSutra lesbian" offers 18 pages of results, while on Google, "how to have lesbian sex" refers to 445,000 web pages . This inventiveness is also shared by Instagram accounts (such as the beautiful Sapphosutra, subscription), or practical guides online (if you read English, I recommend Autostraddle).

Often invisible

This transmission is fundamental for two reasons: 1) lesbians are often invisible, 2) their sexuality is (most) often represented by and for heterosexual men. As a result lesbian beginners do not always know what to do with a woman.

For novices, enthusiasts and the curious, let us mention the inauguration, this Thursday, of a French site of education to female masturbation. Climax consists of seventeen short and very explicit videos. We learn, statistics, comments and close-up support, how to give pleasure (and so, a priori, how to give pleasure to another woman). By the way, some videos are intended for men wanting to learn (the site is intended for all audiences).

Let's summarize the issues: Lesbians are "the" fantasy, okay. But by definition, this fantasy is inaccessible to men and straight women. Remains a nice lot of consolation: why not take inspiration from the recipes of their success? It's simple: let's get rid of our sexualities, not heterosexuality, but obligations linked to heterosexuality. Let's break the mold. Let's forget the imposed figures, let's forget who makes the man, who makes the woman. Let's think outside the codes, with and beyond the penis, with and beyond the traditional repertoire. Men, women, all together: let's reveal the lesbian in us!

Find here all the columns of Maïa Mazaurette in "La Matinale".

Maïa Mazaurette

Source: lemonde

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