Eyal Berkowitz is a man-man, but Sylvie Jean, the best footballer who has ever been in the State of Israel, is aggressive.
This is what we came to find out when her teammates in the reality show in which she participated called her an "athlete, but not an athlete."
The coach did not point out any inappropriate behavior on the part of Jean, who overall wanted very much to win, but her teammates did.
She was badly injured, and none of them came out in her defense, including the coach.
The next day he was on them, Sylvie was no longer on the mission, and even then they were angry with her.
This time claiming she is hurting the group.
Even today, time and time again we see that when a man acts forcefully or assertively, he receives compliments and reinforcements, and nicknames like "Winner" and "Killer".
But when a woman behaves the same way - suddenly it is unpleasant and makes her "violent", "aggressive" or "terrifying on the field".
The last sentence, by the way, sounds bad only when it is in female language, since "he casts terror on the field" sounds like a trailer for a docu-series on Netflix about Michael Jordan.
As a girl, I always played by the rules, and at the same time I was very competitive.
But the environment did not always accept me.
"Oops! Frenkel, why are you so strong ?!", is a sentence my friend said to me "with a laugh" just before she stepped on me and left me a blue mark.
And this is just one of many examples of negative feedback that has been directed at me over and over again.
Daniel Frenkel in a special column for Women's Day, Credit: Athletics Association
I was once angrily asked why my opening strokes in volleyball were so strong, and we got upset that I was moving the stick away in a "three sticks" game in such a way that the other girls would not be allowed to jump.
I also heard phrases like "No fun playing with you", "You do not always have to want to win", "If Frenkel plays there is no point in playing" and "You can also just have fun, go play with the boys".
And when I defeated the boys - they called me "mare".
And no, that was not a compliment.
There were also people who did not think so, but they stood aside and did not make amends here.
Indeed, the negative attitude on the part of the environment kept me away from the sport, which led me to choose to focus on ballet.
In those days I still did not have the dream of becoming the Israeli champion, and the transition was easy.
But apparently, subconsciously, I did so also because ballet was perceived as "feminine" and softer.
But is "forcefulness" a negative word?
And what about "assertiveness", "determination" or "competitiveness"?
And what if it's a woman?
On the one hand, our culture strives for equality, and on the other hand people still do not like to see powerful women.
I mean, we want equality, but gently.
Indeed, this critique of accomplished and purposeful women continues unabated.
She also reaches out to politics, workplaces, TV screens and filing complaints with the police.
This is best illustrated when one sees how exactly the same behavior is treated positively when it comes to a man.
When a politician raises her voice - she is called a "beast".
When a politician shouts in a heated debate - he "illustrates his point better".
When there is an alliance of women in a reality show - it's a betrayal, and the leader is called a "bad woman".
But when a man lies - it's a strategic move.
Frenkel in action.
Let's not lose the strong women, Photo: GettyImages
How many complaints were closed with the police because the complainant was not assertive enough when she spoke to the diary?
I remember a meeting where I was the only woman.
When the men spoke firmly, no trace of comment was heard from them.
But when I spoke firmly I was told I should not get excited, and tried to convey a theme.
In fact, the time has come not to be intimidated by assertive and determined women anymore, because these are the women who will change the world.
Let's not lose those talented girls, stop encouraging the hostile environment and start encouraging the achievements, strength and abilities of whoever may be Israel's next Olympic hope, or become prime minister one day.
At the end I went back to sports, at the age of 19. I jumped again, and released what I had always had.
After setting new Israeli records in the high jump, I was no longer called "competitive" and "aggressive," but "accomplished" and "determined."
Women are allowed to be forceful.
Men do not have a monopoly on power.
Were we wrong?
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