Dangerous Temptations: This lawyer knows what will make you divorced

Parity is a beautiful word that holds a lot of promise, but marriage like fairy tales doesn't have most people. Disillusionment always comes, and now the question is what to do to get out of the other side of the pothole and not divorce. It's complicated. Fact - Attorney Ruth Dayan Wolfner wrote about a book

David Rosenthal

A juror joke that "a criminal lawyer takes away the good from bad people, a family lawyer takes away the bad from good people." Divorcing spouses are, for the most part, normative people who simply want to break up a relationship that may have started well, but failed to reach peace To the Happily part ever after.

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Divorce matters have two sides: when you are in it, you are experiencing emotional and financial hell. The costs, the migration to mediation and / or the courts, the anxiety about the future and the separation that is not really a separation - after all, you have a joint business (the children) to manage and you need to keep in touch with the divorced. When you are out of it, the picture is different. You look at everything with extreme curiosity. Even if these are best friends, trouble is not yours and there is time to try to gather vital information: what part she got in the apartment, how many times he will see the children and in general, were Jos and flying plates in their process, or did they end up boring and remain friends ?

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This voyeurism was provided by attorney Celeb Zvi Lidsky in the early 1980s, whose "Stories from Life" article published in "Lasha" became the Urim and the Orphans / Divorces / Family Conspirators community. Since then, much rain has flowed on the rabbinic roofs, a lesson Divorce has risen and stories have continued to accumulate, stories that even in order to be exposed need an advocate. One such is Ruth Dayan Wolfner, Israel's leading divorce lawyer for the last decade, who recently released "Karma Is a Beach," a file of short episodes that can teach us more about the genre than we would like to admit.

Needless to say, the great plus of "Karma Is A Beach" is not because it contains (and has) gossip elements. Still, these are not the characters we know. The names in general are fictitious, so we don't really care what happened to these people. What it does provide us with is the observation of situations that make us wonder how we would behave in such cases. Despite being a random group of short storylines, this book still gives perspective on certain social rules of "do's and don'ts."

How relevant is it to your life? If the relationship is still good, not too much, it will simply be the kind of book you will probably forget a moment after you read and your reference to it may be disparaging. If, on the other hand, you are at a point when you start recognizing suspicious emojis and suddenly discovering that they are eavesdropping on calls - this may well be exactly the opening whistle you need to get the game underway.

While she does it fairly superficially, Dayan Wolfner nevertheless gives some important tips, such as when to go to the rabbinical court and when to the civilian (hint: contrary to the myth, it doesn't always pay for a man to run rabbinical), how to deal with the children, what timing is there Send a private investigator, in which cases legal logic is not exactly what you thought and especially shows how out-of-the-box thinking can save your future.

However, it must be noted that in the reality test it is difficult to know how a couple will behave in a crisis. I don't really see a person about to say goodbye to his or her partner taking "Karma Is a Beach", which is ultimately a lightweight book and not a serious almanac, and begins to pile on it until he finds the episode that will guide him on how to free himself from the Plunter.

Turns out, cheats don't really help your relationship cave (Photo: Inbal Marmari)

Ruth Dayan Wolfner (Photo: Inbal Marmari, PR)

There is one thing that is clear from the plethora of Dane Wolfner's stories: If you want your relationships to last, you simply shouldn't betray. Although many therapists believe that infidelity may, in the long run, strengthen the relationship, the author brings only a reference to the marriage that followed. Precisely in this case, without the intention, the lawyer demonstrates that theories are separate and reality separate. She herself claims at the beginning of the book that "treason can be forgiven," but the reality is that her bank account swelled as a result of people who were caught traitors and just couldn't forgive, even after trying quite a bit.

This, of course, does not mean that it does not happen in reality. Some people turn a blind eye to the couple's actions and cling to their nails in the family cell. Some, you might guess, die from the inside. They live with the lie for years, sometimes go to the grave with him and other times wait a few years until they knock on the lawyer's door and begin the process of freeing them. What seems unforgiving at first, too, turns into an indelible black stain.

Karma is a beach can be interpreted in many ways. It can be seen as a guide for the young divorcee, it is also allowed to dismiss Dane Wolfner's insights or at least see them as superficial. To me, this book is a warning sign of disloyalty and of course for the spouse. This, although these two elements are not the main segment in it. If you thought you could get away with ignoring the couple or having a romantic stumble, know that this story can cost you property, money, custody of the children and in short - a particularly painful breakup.

Stimetsky Press, 221 pages