A month and a half after she was released from eight months in prison and returned to her spacious home in Hod Hasharon, Tzipi Refaeli experienced a major mental crisis, peaceful with heavy mental distress and many tears.
"When I was released I felt really happy and happy. I even told myself it did not make sense that I accept it so easily. Then came the fall. One morning I looked in the mirror and said to myself, Walla?".
How did you actually feel
?
"It was a break I never felt. A feeling that I'm carrying tons on my back, and it's very heavy, and I make an effort and have to get to a certain place, but I can't."
Photo: Moshe Ben Simhon
Surprisingly, this feeling came after you got out of prison
.
"I estimate that until entering the prison I acted out of protection and survival, and after everything was behind me - I just let go. Before I went to jail I did not know what I was going for, and I accepted that I would be strong and go through it as great. I even calmed my family myself.
"But after I was released and returned home, I suddenly realized that the whole story was behind me, no more courts, no more lawyers, prosecutors, no worries about my children, no evil. Then I probably dropped the token on everything I went through. It was depression with disappointment and a lot. It's very angry that I didn't have before, but also completion and release. "
How did the crisis manifest itself on a daily basis
?
"I would wake up in the morning and not want to get out of bed, not stop crying. Sometimes I would have thoughts like 'why should you live in a cold and alienated world where there is no justice'. A world where there is so much evil. You could have ended this story so much "Simpler. Did you want to take money? No problem. Take it! But prison?"
How did the family react to this late fall
?
"Even when it happened, and the fall was terrible, even then the children and Rafi did not know what I was going through. I would cry my soul out in bed, get up, wash my face, and go out to them."
Why did you hide from them
?
"I did not want to burden them, and I still did not feel I needed help. But I turned to my dear friend, the psychiatrist Ilan Rabinowitz, who told me I needed to tell Rafi and the children - and so I did."
Do you already know how to ask for help today
?
"I am a mentally healthy person. Today I feel that I have regained consciousness and that I am smiling again to the world. I enjoy life and try to do the best I can for the world."
In the first broad interview, Refaeli (due diligence: we are close friends) talks about the uncertainty before she went to prison and the execution of the sentence, the criticism of the State Attorney's Office and the income tax, and also why there was no chance of her breaking into prison.
The full interview - tomorrow at "Shishvat"
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