In recent months, after the world has finished two years of Corona, we all just want to fly, and it doesn't matter if it's for an organized trip in classic Europe, to belly to belly on a beach in Greece or to belly to belly in restaurants in Italy.
Nothing will stop us, not the cost of living, not the crazy ticket prices and not the fact that the airport has three poor employees left to handle hundreds of charter flights.
Eager to get out of here after all the closures, inspections and unexpected price hikes, we are ready for anything, including the likely possibility that as soon as we hand over the suitcase in Israel we can say goodbye to it and its contents, and those who don't like it can go look for their friends and their underwear.
Like a child who grew up and went on a trip independently after the army, she also goes from here on her own trip to another country, and if Hilik Magnus doesn't go to rescue her, we will probably never see her again.
It turns out that some of the low-cost companies today operate without a service department and without a telephone line, and behind them there is one plane, one pilot, one flight attendant and a bot that is also already considering resigning due to overload.
At the time, Apple invented the Air Tag, which is now used as a means of locating the suitcase and for which demand has increased by 300 percent.
It's not certain that Air Tag will return your suitcase, but at least it will let you know what city your socks are hanging out in while you're stuck without a toothbrush and a change of clothes.
The question arises whether a suitcase that goes on a trip around the world accumulates flight points, and whether a suitcase that has accumulated enough points can upgrade itself to business class, or can only James Bond suitcases fly there.
The way airports look now, I might prefer to install a camera on my suitcase, stay at home and accompany her on her vacation around the world and around the conveyor belt at various airports.
One of the hits of the new mode is the trolley, a small suitcase that can be put on the plane without the risk of losing it.
This is on the condition that you arrived early enough for the flight, because if you are one of the last, there is a chance that your trolley no longer has a place and it will be disrespectfully moved to the belly of the plane and then you did nothing, and if someone offers you to complete a minyan on the flight, consider joining and praying for the safety of your trolley.
In the current situation, when the trolley was upgraded from a supplementary storage vessel to the main show, Israeli ideas from the field of the combine also entered the field.
Passengers who board a flight with four layers of clothes even though it's 30 degrees outside, a "pillow" which is actually another way to bring clothes inside or a duty free bag that contains the toiletries that were not packed in the trolley.
In the past we have seen attempts to smuggle drugs in the stomach, and perhaps soon the police will arrest Israelis who swallowed any shaving foam in an attempt to smuggle it.
The trolley teaches us to be content with little, to pack tightly only what is necessary and to do laundry in the hotel sink.
For shopaholics, it provides a good excuse to complete shopping in the destination country what does not fit in the trolley, but you have to remember that even if you bought a suitcase abroad so that you have a way to return with everything you bought there, there is a chance that it will also disappear on the return flight, and then not only did you do nothing - You also lost things a little more valuable.
Another advantage of the trolley is the speed of arrival and departure from the field.
You don't have to wait in line to hand over your suitcase and you don't have to wait for it after landing on the conveyor belt and try to identify it among 20 other identical suitcases, hoping that she didn't meet some handsome Latino bag on the way and go on vacation in the Caribbean with it.
Following the situation, I recognize a business opportunity here and offer bold entrepreneurs a new idea.
Bezalel market-style shops and stalls at the airports, where you can purchase immediately after landing a suitcase full of all the things you couldn't bring from home at a reduced price.
On the return, you can redeem everything you bought and fly back with the minimalist trolley.
Another option is a kind of exchange market, where, for example, if you landed in Paris and discovered that your suitcase was gone, you could get another suitcase that arrived there in its place even though its owner actually landed in Honolulu.
In the end, the needs of all of us are similar and it should not be a problem to change, in each suitcase you can find several t-shirts, a bathing suit, shorts, shaving tools, deodorant, perfume and aftershave.
In order to prevent an extra-large person's suitcase from being taken by a small person, and within the framework of the sharing policy on social networks, from now on every passenger will write on the suitcase the size of their clothes and shoes, including their gender and age, so that a situation does not arise in which a 60-year-old businessman is forced to attend the business meeting His in a spotted bikini.
The classification will be made in abbreviations, for example:
Mly = Male Large Young
Fso = Female Small Old The
project will be called Nb?Nb, meaning: no clothes?
Here are clothes!
The app can sit on Tinder's infrastructure and will be location-based.
Especially stingy people can be offered toothbrushes for rent and second-hand dental floss and a third tooth from people who have just boarded the plane back.
Another advantage that makes it possible to screw up the system is the fact that even a two-year-old baby is entitled to take a trolley with him.
I guess the day won't be far when the airlines make it clear that in order to be entitled to a trolley, each passenger will have to carry it onto the plane themselves or at least explain why the baby's trolley includes a bottle of whiskey, an electronic cigarette and a razor.
As a result of the situation, there has already been a shortage of trolls, I am told that all kinds of nimble entrepreneurs are now developing a project to saw up large suitcases and turn them into four trolls, something reminiscent of what apartment owners in Tel Aviv do who turn a two-room apartment into four studio apartments for students, preferably thin ones.
In addition to all the pleasures already listed here, anyone considering traveling abroad should take into account that they may find themselves in the extreme heat wave of Europe, including, for example, 40 degrees in England, which means that the famous five o'clock tea may suddenly seem like a cool drink and refreshing. The English, who are not as used to extreme temperatures as we are, try to organize accordingly and even offer redheads, who suffer more from the heat than anyone, a free ticket to the cinema. But in a country that doesn't really know the concept of air conditioning, it may be harsh.
We have always envied the politeness and restraint of the English, as they appear in Parliament or in their patient waiting in queues, certainly compared to the nervousness of the Mediterranean, but the question is whether this composure will be maintained even in the spiritless heat of the present time, or once they too begin to sweat from parts of the body that until Today they were not aware of their existence, they will become similar to us in other ways, and in a second they will replace the "excuse me sir" with "get out of my sight, why who are you, you trash?"
As someone with long and humid experience in the field, below are some basic Israeli tricks for the hot days.
On such days it is recommended to get off the three-piece suit, unless by three-piece you mean a tanga swimsuit and two flip-flops.
The tie, boots, and woolen socks you're so used to can be stored in the closet, and you're ready to switch to shorts, tank tops, and biblical sandals and sing with Noa Kirel: It's just me, the pouch, and the heat of Manchester.
Also the part with the white foreign wig that the lawyers and judges usually wear in the courts may cause unnecessary sweating, and instead you can arrive in the courtroom with what is known here as a stupid hat.
It does look idiotic, but more effective than the long black wool your queen's guards wear.
It is important to park the car in the shade and it is also worth arguing with a neighbor about it.
You should also take into account that during the day the sun moves, and it won't help even if you leave the woman to watch the sun in the parking lot.
When you get into a car that has been standing in the sun, remember that for the first few minutes it has about the same temperature as the sun, so you shouldn't lean back.
The seat is hot and the sweaty shirt may stick to it.
It is recommended to place a towel on it, which should be kept in the glove compartment.
The heat creates tensions between people, and here in Israel this manifests itself in the exotic custom of throwing chairs around the pool, especially chairs from the Keter Plastic company, which would be happy to supply you and all of Europe with such chairs and may certainly prove to be the biggest beneficiary of the current heat wave.
yairn@israelhayom.co.il
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