Do you feel the other's pain as if it were your own?
Offer support to everyone around you even when it comes at your expense, and find it difficult to tolerate aggressiveness and loudness?
Maybe you lose yourself when you are surrounded by many people, need time to yourself and quiet to relax, and often feel overwhelmed or emotionally and physically exhausted?
If so, it may be that you - or people close to you - belong to the "empathic" definition: people who are more sensitive to the people around them, and even absorb their energy and are affected by it - even if not in their favor.
In the harsh world where loudness and bluntness conquer the television screens and current affairs programs, where the pursuit of success and achievement dominates the work culture, where bullying is celebrated on social networks and there is an increase in violence, there is no doubt that the world of empaths is not simple.
However, international writer and lecturer Anita Morjani claims that now more than ever the world needs sensitive, compassionate and loving people, who will make their voices heard and express their mindset and thoughts - even though they naturally run away from the spotlight and positions of power, and in many cases also pay a personal price Heavy on being sensitive and empathetic.
Morjani herself says that she almost paid with her life for being empathetic.
In her new book "Sensitivity is the new power - the power of empaths in an increasingly harsh world" (Opus Publishing) she says that in 2002, about a year after her best friend was diagnosed with cancer, she herself became ill with severe lymphoma.
"February 2, 2006 was supposed to be my last day on earth," she says, adding that on that day all her family members were invited to the hospital to say goodbye to her, after the cancer had metastasized to vital body organs, and she entered a coma and a state of system collapse.
But then, when she was dying and almost passing to the other side, she felt the presence of her father, who died about a decade before her, when he told her: "Your time has not yet come. There are gifts waiting for you. Therefore, you must return to your physical body."
Then, when she was aware of the doctor's voice announcing to her family members, "Her heart is still beating, but it is too late to save her", and when she experienced the magical world beyond, she did return to her body, opened her eyes and woke up.
But the most amazing thing happened about five weeks later, when the doctors found no trace of cancer in her body, and it disappeared completely.
"They couldn't help but acknowledge that it was a miracle, no less. They couldn't explain what happened here," she writes.
On her near-death experience, Morjani wrote her first book, "Dying to Be Me", which was published in 2011, became a global bestseller, placed her, as she says, "on the world stage" and made her a sought-after international lecturer, who is interviewed around the world and leads conferences and workshops.
"I was suddenly thrown with tremendous force into the global spotlight and thrown into a life bigger than I could have imagined. Although I felt that it was very true - it was not the life that educated me and connected me to deal with it," she writes in her new book, and explains that the new role turned her from a woman She looks, who puts herself in the last place and blames everyone around her, for tens of thousands of people are waiting for her mouth to come out.
The great contrast between who she was and what she has become caused her new tensions and struggles, which she had to find a solution to.
Thus, in fact, she came to explore the world of the highly sensitive people (HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON - HSP) and the unique group within them - the empaths, to which she realized she belonged.
This, in order to find tools for herself as an empath that would allow her to protect herself from the enormous emotional burden that the new vocation she chose to pursue brought into her life.
Morgani.
to connect, photo: public relations
One in five - too sensitive
More than 20 years ago, the psychologist and researcher Dr. Eileen Aron published her book "A Highly Sensitive Person", in which she stated that about 20 percent of the population are highly sensitive people, whose nervous system is biologically different from that of others. As such, they recognize much more details and subtleties in their environment, and therefore are overwhelmed by the excess of information, tire quickly and tend to look for a quiet place where they can stay for a while in privacy. After Dr. Aron, the American psychiatrist Dr. Judith Orloff also identified another group within that very sensitive group, which she called "empaths In her book "Survival Guide for Empaths - Life Strategies for Sensitive People" published in the USA in 2017, she stated that unlike the highly sensitive people, empaths not only feel the emotions, sensations and energies of the people around them, but also absorb them into their bodies.
In a telephone interview I had with Morjani from her home in Los Angeles, I tried to find out if the advice in her book is also effective for Israeli empaths, who have to deal with a particularly harsh reality.
The shabki characteristic, which allows outsiders to interfere in other people's affairs even when they were not asked, may also be challenging.
"Yes, it sounds like the Israeli reality may be particularly challenging for empathic people," she replies, "but the very fact that they will recognize themselves as such, accept it with understanding instead of repressing or denying it, and will not judge themselves harshly, will help them a lot. Empaths tend to get angry They see these qualities as weakness and waste energy trying to get rid of them. They need to understand that the opposite is true: the reason the world has become so aggressive and violent is that there are not many like them in the world, and the world needs them very much. They need to understand that empathic ability is a gift."
How can this feature be seen as a gift, if it weakens them?
"One of the gifts of empathic people is that they have a greater ability to receive information from the world beyond. Many of them fear this, do not believe in it and suppress this ability, but in practice it allows them high intuitive abilities that can serve them well in everyday life. They are 'connected' more, can feel people and know exactly what they are supposed to do in all kinds of situations. For this, they need to listen less to the surrounding noises, and be attentive to their inner world."
Doesn't this contradict their supportive and inclusive nature?
"Yes, but they need to understand that empaths are weakened when they are affected by the noise of the people around them. When they listen less to the external noises, they will be connected to their antennas and things that are more true for them. They need to understand that it is not possible to please everyone, and they need to be brave enough, even if it means that there will be people that it won't suit them and they may choose to stay away from them. On the other hand, they will gain other people who will come into their lives and suit them better. When I shared my near-death experience with the world, there were people around me who criticized me and thought I was crazy, so they stayed away. But in their place, many people came into their lives who loved Me precisely thanks to the new information I shared, which greatly contributed to their lives."
In the book, you suggest that empaths become stronger thanks to meditation. But the Israelis have difficulty practicing it. Do you have any other recommendations that would be more suitable for empaths in the Israeli reality?
"First, since empaths experience an aggressive reality more severely than others, they may feel tired, full of tension and exhausted after watching the news or content that contains suffering, harm and aggression. That's why I suggest they take long breaks from watching television, especially news. Also, They must understand that they need rest, breaks and rest more than others, even if it means they have to work fewer hours a day. Otherwise they may collapse or pay a health price for the emotional and sensory overload they experience. Also, they need to get used to taking care of themselves and putting themselves first, Because if the non-empathic people take care of themselves, and the empathic people take care of others - who will take care of the empaths? They have to understand that it is completely unselfish to take care of themselves first."
The cover of the book "Sensitivity is the new power",
Are there any hobbies that might be particularly suitable for them or strengthen them?
"Most empaths - even if they are not involved in art - are artists and philosophers, and they must find a way to express themselves through creation and writing, even if as a hobby for themselves and without revealing it to the world. For them, artistic expression releases a lot of energy and strengthens the body. Also, I suggest to empaths Strengthen their connection with nature, try once a day or at least once a week to go for a walk in nature or walk on the beach, because nature stabilizes and strengthens empathic types. Another means that strengthens and has a particularly positive effect on empaths is listening to music."
You point out that empaths may also be vulnerable in their work environment - both due to their sensitivity to criticism, and also because they have difficulty demanding a proper salary. What are the recommendations for them in the field of employment?
"For empaths, the most important need is to work with a sense of meaning and helping others, and not in a competitive environment where achievements are not related to helping humanity. This turns them off completely. At the salary level, they need to find a job with a decent employer who will reward them well, because they do not know how to demand a salary for themselves High. In the book I also discuss changing their perception of reality regarding money and a fair wage, as well as overcoming fear of criticism and the need to please everyone."
How to empower empathic children?
"It is very important to make these children trust their feelings and intuitions, because that is where their power lies. It is recommended to ask them in different situations how they feel, to divert them from the space of the head to the space of the heart. If they are watching TV or playing on the computer, it is important that they are aware not only of what arouses the their minds, but also to their feelings, and ask them what it makes them feel. The same goes for their feelings in relation to subjects, school breaks and social events."
shishabat@israelhayom.co.il
Examine yourselves: am I an empath?
In her book Morjani presents a questionnaire designed to test if you are empathetic, and to what degree. Here are some of them:
1. Are you afraid of hurting others' feelings, disappointing them or not meeting their expectations, because you are able to feel their pain?
2. Do you find it difficult to accept compliments, gifts, services or generous gestures from others and feel obligated to return them in the same currency immediately and immediately?
3. When someone says something and means something else, do you pick it up easily?
4. Do you find it difficult to relax when you are surrounded by people and need solitude and space to collect yourself from the energies of others?
5. When you are in the company of a person who is not feeling well, do you find yourself feeling the symptoms they are experiencing?
6. Routine, roles and control create a feeling of claustrophobia for you, and do you like to do what you want when you want?
7. Are you service-oriented, and helping people makes you very happy?
8. Self-growth and self-care are of great interest to you and you want to develop, learn and grow?
9. Is it difficult for you to watch scary, sad or depressing movies, or read such books?
10. Do you often feel exhausted, emotionally and physically, even when you have no emotional issues bothering you at that moment?
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