Nothing in the lives of Nelly and Avner Dedaev is the same as it was, since their daughter Diana was stabbed and shot by her husband, patrolman Amir Raz.
These are not only the heavy loss and the torment that accompanies them for almost two years.
When they were about 60 years old, the couple decided to become parents to their four orphaned grandchildren, who were left without a mother and a father.
"Who would have believed that I would find myself going to parent meetings or kindergarten meetings as the primary parent and not as a grandmother," Nellie tells for the first time about the challenge of raising her grandchildren.
"At a graduation party in my grandson's kindergarten, one of his friends asked me if I was his mother. I answered that I was the grandmother. He asked where the mother was, and I said he didn't have one, so he grew up with us. I prepared myself for these questions, but it's hard for children. My grandson bowed his head And my heart broke into pieces."
The murder of Diana Dedabeev (32) shocked the country.
In front of their children, whom he tied with a rope, Raz (34) stabbed his wife and then shot her in the leg and head.
The late Diana Dedabeev and the husband who murdered her, photo: no credit
Raz's trial is ongoing in the Lod District Court, and recently his defense attorney, attorney Moshe Alon, requested that he be allowed to bring a private psychiatric opinion, claiming that Raz is suffering from post-trauma following his military service in Givatay.
Now, with the observance of the International Day for the Prevention of Violence against Women, which will fall on Friday, the couple agreed to open their hearts and reveal their lives as relatively old parents of children aged 3 to 9. The moments of peace in front of the television are now replaced by sleepless nights because the children wake up crying because of the nightmares .
Re-parenting
"We have already raised four adult children and have seven grandchildren," says Avner.
"We wanted to reduce work, maybe go traveling abroad, but now I'm busy with two jobs, because Nelly had to stop working.
Every day I pray to God to give the children a long and healthy life for Diana."
The Dadbeev family collects the pieces, photo: Efrat Eshel
How did the children react to the change in their lives?
Nelly: "The first few days they were shocked. Then they had outbursts of crying, and some of them also outbursts of rage. One of the children reacted in an extreme way every time he lost a game. We took him aside and explained to him that violence does not solve things."
The long time that has passed since their mother was murdered in front of their eyes does not erase the horrifying sight of him they witnessed.
"They still don't sleep well at night, but they no longer wake up screaming," Nelly says.
"We hear the children talking or crying in their sleep. A few days ago I heard one of them muttering 'enough, enough, I don't want to.' Come back."
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