Valentine's Day, Twitter and toxic relationships

One of the least offensive things the British gave the world is Valentine's Day.

Chaucer wrote a poem in 1375 linking love and courtship to February 14th and Valentine's Day and while I doubt he anticipated paying £80 for a bouquet of flowers and fighting over dinner reservations, the world has chosen this day ever since. to celebrate relationships.

This day highlights many of the rather twisted experiences I've had negotiating toxic relationships in the past.

And it makes me wonder, now that I've finally found my better half and settled down happily, why did I used to settle for so much less than I deserve?

Why accept a few crumbs of love instead of the whole bakery?

Relationships are challenging, we all know that, and yet I have often been overwhelmed with

and unhappy situations.

And yet I decide not just to stay, but to pursue it as some kind of holy quest.

And if I ever left and tried to move on, nine times out of ten I would come back.

Why do we go back to things that don't suit us?

Familiarity?

Low self-esteem?

Masochism?

The desire to change others instead of looking within and changing ourselves?

It reminds me of Twitter and its cousins.

I'm pretty confident that the most toxic relationship I've ever had is with Elon Musk's Sinking Ship.

And oh, how hard it is for me to leave once and for all.

As an alcoholic trying to stay sober but working in a bar - or, perhaps more appropriately, someone in an unhealthy relationship and unable to get out of it - I find myself almost addicted to violence, dopamine rewards, outrage and hostility. .

The internet has somehow made it okay for us (even encourages us) to yell at strangers, insult, threaten, hate and abuse those we've never met.

I've done it myself too many times to mention.

I have read a tweet about -to cite one example among dozens- Pablo Motos and I have become judge, jury and executioner in less than 10 seconds without ever knowing him, without knowing most of the details and having an opinion formed by the most indignation than by the facts (sorry, Pablo).

It's the key ingredient for cancel culture.

Our phones have instant triggers: our fingers, itching to fire just because we can.

Looking at it objectively, I find it as incomprehensible as it is distressing.

At least having a terrible argument with a lover has some degree of authenticity and shared experience.

Yelling at strangers on the internet?

Not so much.

I need a relationship.

I'm not enlightened enough to face the world alone.

I also need social networks (as a work tool they are very useful).

But, just as I have now drawn a line in the sand with toxic relationships, I refuse to get involved or be a part of anything that hurts me and others.

We have a finite amount of energy, and my priorities in relation to that energy are my family, my well-being, my passions, and only after that, everything else.

Things that drain your energy, that prioritize the need to be right over the desire to be happy, can screw you up.

Life is too short.

And now that I am forever grateful to have made the final leap from unhappy, unsound, and unfulfilling relationships to something truly beautiful, calm, intimate, and kind,

Six years ago, during a TEDx talk in Madrid about classical music and the inner self, I brought up the idea of ​​creating an app that was more of an inner ritual than a habit.

Something that would inspire and not deflate, something more focused on culture and art than politics and influencers

It is my hope that one day, even if I have to create it myself, there will be a similar place online where we can meet, share, chat, and love with empathy, with kindness, and with curiosity.

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