First of all, here is a proposal for all the presidential candidates who aspire to run in October.
It would be very positive if they reach an agreement and publicly commit, as a State policy, to keep the presidential spokeswoman Gabriela Cerruti in her post.
The weekly sketch that she stars in in front of journalists, in which she explains how well the country is doing and how good the government is, has already become an
essential input for the media in general and for political humor in particular.
.
Its permanence will be eternally appreciated by the audiences that enjoy it.
With that said, let's get to the important stuff.
A group of scientists from the prestigious MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) reported this week that they visualized the precise moment when a star in the Milky Way, that is, a sun like ours, expanded and literally engulfed a planet the size of Jupiter orbiting around it.
The curious thing about the phenomenon is that the process of expanding the star and swallowing the planet lasted just 10 days.
It is as if tomorrow, Monday, the sun began to swell and, between Tuesday and Wednesday of the following week, it would finish eating the Earth just as it is, whole
and with all of us inside.
A true tragedy that would imply, among other things,
not knowing if Cristina is going to be a candidate or not.
Although scientists confirmed that the Earth will suffer the same fate, that is, that the Sun will end up morphing us, the spectacular event will only occur within 5,000 million years.
Although it seems far away, time passes quickly.
We had better attack inflation and poverty before it's too late.
Existential doubt: what will come first, the end of the Earth or the end of Kirchnerism?
This reflection is worth it at a time when many people assume that Cristina is not going to appear and that Kirchnerism is in decline.
Will she be like that?
Let's see.
For those who say that Cristina already got out of any candidacy when in La Plata she said "I already gave everything I had to give", we must remind them that 13 years ago, on May 12, 2011, Cristina said in an act in Jose C Paz “I already gave everything I had to give”
and, nevertheless, he still needed to give us his best.
It was not until 2012 that he launched his greatest hits: the second presidency, we go for everything, the Once tragedy, the memorandum with Iran, Nisman, the waste of reserves and resources, the stocks, the funny persecutions of journalists and judges, the 30% inflation that he left in 2015, the 150% that he is going to leave us now (hopefully) and the coronation of Alberto, among other successes.
The other phrase that he put in La Plata was "don't make curlers", exactly the same thing he said in 2011 before announcing his candidacy for re-election.
Let's not forget a small detail from that stage:
she was accompanied on guitar by Amado Boudou.
It may be that this time Cristina decides to stay out of the competition but, since after 20 years of enjoying it we already know it by heart, we can assume that she is defoliating the daisy.
She knows that finger picking another star like Alberto is a dangerous move.
She suspects that if she chooses Massa, a shark will enter the pool and that if she chooses Wado De Pedro, she will have to take him by the hand throughout the country because no one knows him.
In both cases, she would end up repeating the puppet image.
Paragraph in the margin about De Pedro.
On Friday in Villa Fiorito he declared verbatim: "A Peronist government is needed that puts what it has to put."
Great phrase, especially since it was said
by a Peronist who is Minister of the Interior of the current Peronist government
.
Perhaps we should ask the presidential candidates that, in addition to keeping Cerruti in his position, they also keep De Pedro.
For humor, it adds up a lot.
Returning to the point, there is another key fact: Cristina will never forget that in the 2019 PASO they predicted a victory by 3 or 4 points and, when the polls were opened, it turned out that they had won by
20
.
Who gets the idea that putting Alberto on was completely unnecessary?
How is she not going to be thinking that perhaps the polls have another surprise in store for her?
Just in case, he has already decided that the electoral strategy is to agitate Milei so that he gets votes from Together for Change and, therefore, helps Kirchnerism.
A tactic that history has shown to be suicidal, but since these people don't understand history or anything, here they go.
To meet that star that waits for them to swallow.
Something similar happens on the other side.
They are so sure in Juntos por el Cambio that this time it is their turn, that they are killing themselves for the candidacies, giving a show that
only favors Milei.
What the hell is Milei?
A bizarre boy who scored two summer hits at the right time:
dollarization and caste
.
He also has an additional advantage over his competitors: he does not carry accounts of the past.
The fact that he buys the unpaid invoices of others, like Bussi or Menem, speaks of the fact that
we would not be facing a political luminary either.
Let's look first at the issue of dollarization.
Basically, it is nothing more than an appeal to the
collective fantasy of having dollars
.
Except for Urribarri, who has an inconsistency of 9 green suits and doesn't need more, who wouldn't like to have a lot of dollars?
As most economists explain, dollarization is a simple and extreme monetary restriction that, by itself and without basic fiscal, tax, labor, business and union reforms, is useless
.
Let's explain it more clearly.
Let's suppose that you, dear reader, can't stand that bum anymore who snores next to you 20 years ago with his navel full of fluff sticking out between the lower edge of the tank top and the upper edge of the underpants.
Together they have a fixed term of 500,000 pesos in the corner bank.
On Monday morning when the country wakes up dollarized, its fixed term of 500 Lucas will have become one of 1,000 dollars.
Beautiful.
However, when you go to sleep happy with the 1,000 dollars you now have, you will realize that Monday night that
the same bum is still in bed as you were on Sunday
.
In other words, you will have exchanged 500 Lucas for 1,000 dollars but you still have the same mess as always.
The other warhorse is “the caste”.
Great invention to channel the anger because everyone is the caste.
And they all work for Milei.
Ginés with his VIP vaccination, Alberto with his little parties, the hilarious statements by Kicillof, Cerruti or Cafiero, all contribute to Milei.
Even Tolosa Paz, who was denied by nature the ability to understand the concept of full stop, works for Milei when she speaks.
When C5N enters neo-fascism saying that Milei lives with 8 dogs and is in love with her sister (yes, reader friend, they said so) he does nothing but work for Milei.
When the mayor of Pehuajó says that Milei is a compulsive masturbator, too.
By the way: could that be why Manuelita lived in Pehuajó?
The same goes for Macri when he says that he is not going to blow up everything like Milei, but is only going to "semi-blow up" or the radicals when they say that not even crazy people would get together with Milei or Bullrich when he says that she would come close.
They all work for the guy.
In fact, this note today also works for Milei.
Let's close by imagining what Milei is up to now.
Probably at her house, calm down, Sunday.
Getting ready to see the superclassic, relaxing and doing those things that make you happy.
For example,
dissecting rodents to taste them
.
Like any normal person.
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