A few months after breaking up with her former boyfriend, "New Love" star Dana Ben-Ari sat down Monday night to tell her 101,<> Instagram followers about the regret that has accompanied her since the end of the relationship.
In a particularly revealing story, the reality TV refugee brought users deep into her thoughts and feelings, and shared how she single-handedly destroyed the romantic relationship because she didn't know how to conduct herself correctly in the relationship she created. "I have to admit that I'm choking back tears. It's hard for me, really. How hard it is to move on from a person you loved so much," Ben-Ari wrote in her painful confession. "Unfortunately, I did everything crooked with him, because I was never taught to love, trust properly or believe. I've always been my own lifeboat. What did Dana actually know about relationships until the moment she stepped into this big world? What did I know? Nothing! And that's okay, I don't repent of sin. I was just stuck in a kind of never-ending loop of life-not-life, and a crazy reality that anyone even thought about it."
Later on, the reality TV veteran shared her ambitions to conduct herself differently and learn from mistakes. "I feel like letting go of that control, trusting and believing, but 7 years of living alone like a lone wolf, learning everything about control, responsibility, caring and listening to yourself, you're always right. You know best of all. How hard it is to suddenly go out into the world and try again and differently. Let another person smile at you, laugh with you, tell you about their past, while you think about a thousand and one other things."
Ben Ari's story // Screenshot from Instagram
Towards the end of her speech, Ben-Ari discussed the direct connection between her mental and physical state. "I started having some asthma of the skin on my throat and it usually happens to me from stress and things that don't go the way I want," she noted. "It's crazy how my body feels me, my face. When do you really learn to behave properly in a relationship? I know that life is all one huge learning, and every situation is a lesson for us and for our lives."
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