Tamar (not her real name) has big green eyes and light hair, which sometimes shifts forward and hides her face. She is only 17 years old, and has been walking around the world for three years with the feeling that she is losing herself. Until COVID-<>, she will say in a few words, everything was fine, routine, but with the outbreak of the pandemic, the financial situation at home deteriorated, her parents reached the brink of divorce, and Tamar felt that she was falling between the cracks.
"When we stopped going to school because of the pandemic, I felt like I was out," she shares. "I didn't get along at all with the story of studying on Zoom, and I just found myself not connected to classes and disconnecting from my studies. I would leave the house as soon as possible, usually towards evening, hang out with all kinds of guys, drinks and stuff."
On one of these "entertainment" evenings, Tamar was sexually abused by three friends. She was under the influence of alcohol and, according to her, could not defend herself. Even in the days that followed, she felt lonely, unable to tell her parents about the ordeal.
"I didn't want to tell anyone anything," she explains. "Everyone was already around the coronavirus and the divorce, and I didn't want to add to the mess. I was left with it alone. And what will I actually tell - that I was drunk? I was terrified of being judged, of being told it happened to me because of me, and to be honest, that's what I thought of myself at the time.
"Even when we went back to school, after the lockdowns, I didn't want to talk to anyone. At home, I walked around with myself. I barely slept, and if I did sleep, it happened at odd hours. I lay in bed for days, not wanting to do anything. Sometimes I thought maybe it would be better for me to get all this over with, take a few pills and that's it."
Tamar (pseudonym): "When we stopped coming to school during the pandemic, I felt out. I didn't get along with my studies on Zoom and just found myself disconnecting. I would leave the house in the evening, hang out with all kinds of guys, drinks and stuff. I slept at odd hours."
The ease with which Tamar describes suicidal thoughts, due to events that happened to her during the pandemic, is heart-scratching. Almost unimaginable words from the mouth of a girl who at the time began to suffer from social anxiety and extreme mood swings, and is now looking for a way to overcome. Words that, according to professionals with whom we spoke for this article, have become common among many youth in Israel – those who were confined to their homes out of necessity during their critical years, which are known to shape personality and mental resilience. Teenagers in a lost generation that seems to be crumbling.
Revealing questions sent by teenagers to content creator Yoni Almakais, and underneath answers he gave them. "I'm very jealous of my friends' lives,"
Two years have passed since the alleged end of the coronavirus crisis, but Tamar can't pick herself up. She is not yet going to an educational framework. Instead, she spends time with "people a decade older than me" and doesn't shy away from taking soft drugs, she says.
Over the past two years, she has tried "quite a few times" to hurt herself. More recently, she says, she has found a controversial way to deal with her mental pain, and she tends to have multiple sex, sometimes with casual partners, in what she describes as "my way of being in touch with other people. But it's always something brief, not a really close relationship."
It wasn't until long after experiencing her abuse that she finally shared with a friend, who helped her get therapy, which she quickly left. From there she sought help from the ELEM Centers (an association for at-risk youth), and today she receives treatment and emotional accompaniment that her therapist defines as "a long and profound process."
More depression, less functioning
Today we see them from all sides: boys and girls suffering from tantrums, depression and social anxiety. More and more young people, sometimes as young as 12 years old, share suicidal thoughts with each other – and professionals – take prescription sedatives and report social and emotional difficulties that have accelerated during the COVID-<> lockdowns. More and more young people who have suffered life blows due to the pandemic – and are still struggling to overcome the gap. Now, with the summer vacation, the boundaries are becoming blurred again, and the youth may deteriorate even more.
Academic achievements were also affected. The results of the ASIF tests (an alternative to Meitzav tests in fourth grade) and PIRLS tests (an international study conducted in a sample of fourth graders) indicated linguistic weakness in Hebrew and Arabic among children in Israel, and the Ministry of Education is currently working on a systemic plan to reduce the gaps.
TikToker Yoni Almakais (21): "In my videos I talk about the most difficult topics, and convey an important message in an entertaining way. Slowly, teenagers started responding to me: 'You're Bull me,' 'You're reading my mind,' 'You made me feel normal.' They understand they have a problem."
Mental health experts, for their part, repeatedly blame the sharp rise in the deterioration of youth's mental state during the coronavirus crisis. "The coronavirus, which broke out at the beginning of 2020, affected us all," explains Sigal Sidlik-Alon, national clinical psychologist at Clalit Health Services.
According to her, "Young children did not go to frameworks, or did not enter frameworks in the first place; Children entering first grade experienced difficulty acquiring study habits, which can affect social status; Boys and girls in grades 7-8, who were the age group that stayed at home the longest, were most affected, and we see an increase in depression indices, decreased functioning, and avoidance of activities that play a role in resilience, such as social gatherings.
"All these young people stayed at home, in a close environment that was also not necessarily calm, because the lockdowns led to family and employment crises and marital crises – which in turn also affected the children.
"The mental resilience of youth is based on a social structure, and the lack of a social structure has put them at a very difficult point. If as a teenager I'm angry with my parents, and I can't meet friends or peers to hear that they're fighting with my parents too, and I can't go out and watch how another teenager my age behaves in the real world and not on social media on the Internet, my sense of insecurity can increase."
Haven't social networks been able to fill the gaps in social structure?
"Social networks existed even before COVID-19, but at the same time we could see the same teenagers in real life, and get a broader and more realistic perspective than the one presented on websites. We could also see the children, who online seemed the happiest and most perfect, coming to school and sometimes angry or sad, which presented them in a normal light.
"But when you see them only on social media, as happened during the pandemic, the reference becomes distorted. All social behavior takes place only online, and those who feel rejection cannot find themselves in front of people who want to spend time with him, even those he will encounter by chance, as happens in normal times.
"The prolonged sitting in front of the Zoom camera also played a role in this crisis – for example, when a boy or girl with low self-esteem had to see himself all day through the computer camera, and were not allowed to turn it off because teachers demanded that cameras be opened to ensure attendance at lessons.
"In the past two years, since they returned to school, there have been social gatherings again, but the scars created during the lockdowns remain. So there are children and adolescents who have managed to make up for the gap and return to normal, and there are those who remain in distress. And this, in the absence of appropriate treatment, only increases over the years."
Sigal Sidlik-Alon. "On social networks, the reference to behavior becomes distorted", photo: Efrat Eshel
According to Sidlik-Alon, the important thing is for parents and children to know that there is a possibility to ask for help. "Although there are long lines for inquiries, because even before the crisis, the mental health system was lacking, but in the framework of conversations and treatment, sometimes even medication, it is possible to help the child or youth increase his sense of self-worth and reduce anxiety.
"So it's important to seek help, and you can precede the provision of assistance according to a medical opinion, or contact the school counselor, the regional psychological service, and so on. At Clalit, we have developed a crisis-focused intervention service via Zoom to allow parents to seek help while waiting for treatment. The longer we wait, the worse the situation may be, and the small crisis experienced at home can develop into a very rapid psychopathology. Our goal is to prevent the crisis from developing."
Sigal Sidlik-Alon: "All these young people stayed at home, in a close environment that wasn't necessarily calm, because the lockdowns led to family and employment crises. The mental resilience of youth is based on a social structure, and the lack of such a structure has put them in a difficult position."
"He became turned off and melancholic"
Parents, for their part, also experience great difficulty in trying to help their children who feel lost. If adolescence is considered difficult anyway, adolescence after the coronavirus crisis is considered much more challenging.
Michal (not her real name, like her son's), a mother of three from the central region, has experienced the effects of the closures on her middle son, Nadav, 15. From a child who was once happy and surrounded by friends, Nadav has become a teenager who prefers to shut himself in his room. One moment it's quiet, the next it's lashing out at the whole world.
"His condition affected the whole house," the mother says painfully. "During the lockdowns, when it was possible to go out for air, we allowed Nadav to go for walks near the house. But it wasn't enough for him, and I can understand him. It became off. Melancholic.
"Just before the lockdowns, he had just started his studies in middle school, and the transition, which at first was easy and exciting for him, became very complex. Each of his friends burrowed into his corner, because no one really knew how to deal with the situation, and Nadav fell between the cracks. He tried to maintain his school routine on Zoom, but didn't feel comfortable opening the camera, and there were whole days when he didn't join the class at all.
Michal, Nadav's mother: "All his friends dug into their corner, and he fell between the cracks. There were days when we shook him out of bed to get him moving. We understood his difficulty, but we couldn't get him out of it. If we had pressed, he would have burst out screaming, kicking and punching at the door."
"Slowly, my son shut down in front of my eyes. The kids went back to school, but he would come in and feel like an outsider, because most of them went on with life on Zoom, and he didn't. He found no more point in the game of basketball.
"There were days when we would shake him out of bed, just to get him moving. We understood and contained his difficulty, but we couldn't get him out of it. If we pressed a little too hard for him to come out, he would see it as bullying – and lash out. Literally a sharp outburst of screaming, kicking and punching at the door. All his fingers filled with blue marks from the punches he would give to the door. During an outburst, no one wants to get close to him, and at the same time he felt lonely, creating a cycle of anger and pain that we couldn't break.
"In the meantime, the atmosphere at home has become very tense. Life seemed to return to normal, but Nadav remained stuck behind. He won't go talk to a professional, claiming it's just a passing mood. But his mood has been going on for three years."
One day, Michal discovered another mark along her son's right wrist. "Miraculously, he sat down to have dinner with us, and I can see that he has like a scratch on his hand. He muttered that it was nothing, but I immediately realized it was more than that. In the evening I took him for a talk. I made us hot drinks, came with some cookies, and started talking to him about life. I asked him about the signs, and he again claimed it was just.
"I gently asked him to roll up his sleeve and show me his hand. My lovely boy exposed his sleeve and, tearfully, showed me rows and rows of cut marks. I don't wish for any parent to see proof that their child wants to hurt himself. It's heartbreaking. The next day he stayed home with me, and we started looking for treatment."
Nadav began to go for emotional and psychological support, and in recent months Michal says that he is beginning to return to life, school and even basketball that he loved so much. "The full spark hasn't returned to his eyes yet, but I'm not losing hope. I'm sure he'll be back."
"Help them without judging"
At the beginning of the month, ALEM published its annual report on the situation of youth in Israel. A look at the report's data, based on interviews with some 12,2022 young people from all over the country who were helped by the NGO during <>, turns the viscera upside down.
מהדו"ח עולה כי מחצית מבני הנוער שנעזרו בשירותי עלם סיפרו שהם "בודדים" ותיארו קושי ביצירת קשרים חברתיים ובהתמודדות עם סיטואציות חברתיות. 44% שיתפו בתחושות של דיכאון וחרדה. 13% דיווחו על פגיעות עצמיות, כולל ניסיונות אובדניים. 9% דיווחו על הפרעות אכילה. בד בבד, 58% דיווחו על שימוש באלכוהול ו־40% על שימוש בסמים.
קרן נאור, ראש תחום הדרכה ופיתוח בעלם, מתארת שיחות קשות וכואבות עם בני נוער שמדווחים על עלייה בשימוש בסמים ובאלכוהול, ומסבירים זאת בניסיון להתמודד עם תחושותיהם הקשות. "משבר הקורונה הוביל להרגשה של בדידות, דיכאון ואפילו חרדה אצל בני הנוער, שמחפשים עד היום כל מיני אסטרטגיות להתמודדות", היא מסבירה.
"בעלם אנחנו פוגשים בני נוער אבודים, מבולבלים, עם תחושות ריקנות וכאב. הם פונים לעיתים גם לאלימות, אפילו להתנהגויות עברייניות, בחיפוש של משמעות והשתייכות לקבוצה מסוימת, לא משנה אם היא חיובית או לא. כששואלים אותם מה התחביבים שלהם, למשל, הם מתחילים לגמגם. כשאת שואלת מי החברים שלהם, הם מספרים על 'חבר מהונג קונג' ועל 'חבר מארה"ב' שאיתם הם משחקים ברשת. אז הרשת פתחה בפניהם את העולם, אבל מנגד נוצר חוסר באינטימיות.
"הדרך הכי חשובה להתמודד עם החוסר הזה היא מציאת דמויות מיטביות ובוגרות שיהיו שם בשביל הנוער, שיעוררו בהם את האמון, שיאפשרו שיח פתוח על כל מה שעובר עליהם - כדי שיהיה אפשר לעזור להם באמת, בלי לשפוט אותם".
קרן נאור. "בני הנוער מחפשים עד היום אסטרטגיות להתמודדות", צילום: אפרת אשל
גם הנתונים הרשמיים של מוסדות הבריאות בישראל אינם מעודדים. לפי נתוני שירותי בריאות כללית, בשנים 2021-2019 נרשמה עלייה של כ־20% בצריכת תרופות נוגדות דיכאון וחרדה בקרב קטינים מתחת לגיל 18. בד בבד, חלה עלייה במספר הפניות של מבוטחי כללית לשירותי בריאות הנפש, ועלייה של כ־10% בביקורים של מטופלים עד גיל 18 אצל פסיכולוגים, עובדים סוציאליים, פסיכיאטרים ומרפאות בריאות הנפש.
בקופת חולים לאומית מדווחים כי ב־2019 טופלו 6,958 קטינים במערכת בריאות הנפש, בעוד ב־2022 הגיע המספר ל־7,229 - עלייה של כ־4%. בשנים אלו חלה דווקא ירידה במספר הקטינים מבוטחי לאומית שאושפזו במוסדות לטיפול בריאות הנפש, כשב־2019 אושפזו 136 קטינים, לעומת 125 ב־2022.
בקופת חולים מאוחדת מספרים כי בעוד ב־2019 ניתנו 24 אלף מרשמים לתרופות נוגדות דיכאון למבוטחיה בגילי 18-12, ב־2022 ניתנו 37,774 אלף כאלה - עלייה של כ־36%.
במכבי שירותי בריאות דווח שב־2019 קיבלו 5,545 בני נוער ממבוטחי הקופה עד גיל 18 טיפול נפשי, לעומת 6,016 בני נוער ב־2022.
לפי נתוני משרד הבריאות, בעוד בתקופת הסגרים ב־2020 חלה ירידה חדה במספר הפניות למסגרות השונות לטיפול בבריאות הנפש, משום שאנשים הסתגרו בבתים ומיעטו לצאת מהבית, הרי ב־2021 התהפכה המגמה. לפי הנתונים, בהשוואה לשנים 2018 ו־2019 חלה עלייה של 55%-30% במספר הפניות לרופאים בקופות החולים הנוגעות לילדים ולבני נוער החל מגיל 6 (אבל בעיקר בגילי 18-12), עקב תסמיני דיכאון, חרדה ודחק; ועלייה של כ־30% בקבלת טיפול תרופתי נוגד חרדה ואנטי־פסיכוטי. נוסף על כך, ניכרות עלייה של כ־20% במספר האשפוזים הפסיכיאטריים ועלייה של 40% בפניות למיון עקב תסמינים של בריאות הנפש בקרב בני נוער.
"הקורונה העמיקה קשיים קיימים ויצרה קשיים חדשים, בישראל וגם בעולם", מדגיש ד"ר יובל רווה, מנהל מחלקת פסיכיאטריה של הילד והמתבגר במשרד הבריאות.
"בני הנוער, שהיו רגילים לצאת, לשהות במחיצת חברים בכיתה, ללמוד ולבלות, נאלצו להתמודד עם הריחוק החברתי. לצד הניסיון להתרגל ללמוד מהבית, הם נאלצו ללמוד איך לנהל קשרים לא ישירים ולהיפגש עם חברים רק מבעד למסך. חיי החברה התפרקו, וכך התפתחו חרדות שונות ופחדים חברתיים. אלו התעצמו דווקא עם החזרה לשגרה שאחרי הקורונה, אז גם נתקלנו בבעיות התנהגות, נשירה מהלימודים וחוסר תפקוד בבית הספר ובבית.
ד"ר יובל רווה: "בסגרים הצעירים ישבו יום־יום מול הרשתות החברתיות ונתקלו בסרטונים של אנשים שמציגים לראווה עולם ורוד, רזה וחטוב. הם פיתחו חרדות והפרעות אכילה, שמא הם לא עומדים בציפיות ושמא החברים כבר לא יקבלו אותם כפי שהם"
"רבים מבני הנוער פיתחו גם הפרעות אכילה. הם ישבו יום־יום מול מסך המחשב או הסלולרי, גללו את הפיד ברשתות החברתיות ונתקלו בסרטונים של אנשים שמציגים לראווה עולם ורוד, רזה וחטוב. אחרי כל כך הרבה זמן בבית, מי שלדעתו 'לא הדביק את הקצב' פיתח חרדות והפרעות אכילה, שמא הוא לא עומד בציפיות שהסרטונים הציבו, ושאולי מי שהיו חבריו לפני הקורונה לא יקבלו אותו עוד כפי שהוא. זה גרם לכך שתורי המתנה למרפאות להפרעות אכילה גדלו פי שלושה, וההמתנה לאשפוזים במחלקות להפרעות אכילה הוכפלה פי שניים".
תקשורת שפחות מווסתת
ד"ר אילן טל, מנהל מרכז טל לתמיכה רגשית ונפשית בתל אביב, עובד כבר שנים עם בני נוער ומבוגרים, אבל לדבריו רק בשנים האחרונות ניכרת עלייה במורכבות המקרים שעימם הצעירים מגיעים לטיפול.
"העלייה נוגעת לכל הדברים שלכאורה באים כניסיון להרגיע את הרגש", הוא מסביר. "אובדנות הפכה להיות שפה שבאמצעותה מתארים קשיים, ואם בעבר ראינו את זה בגילים מבוגרים יותר - היום גם ילדים בני 12 מתארים לצערנו תחושות אובדניות. גם פגיעות עצמיות, דוגמת חיתוכים בגוף ושריטות, שימוש בסמים ובאלכוהול, או אפילו אכילה אובססיבית, הפכו שכיחים מאוד, כי נראה שלבני הנוער יש פחות יכולת לווסת את מה שהם מרגישים".
ד"ר אילן טל. "לעיתים עלולה להיווצר חקיינות גם בפגיעות עצמיות", צילום: אפרת אשל
לדברי ד"ר טל, תקופת סגרי הקורונה פגעה בעיקר ביכולת של בני הנוער לפתח חוסן נפשי. "חוסן נפשי מורכב גם מהסביבה המשפחתית, שהיא העוגן שלנו, וגם מהליכי חיברות. שני המרכיבים האלה היו חסרים מאוד בימי הסגרים.
"בהיבט המשפחתי, ההורים היו מעורערים, וכשההורים מעורערים הילדים שחיים בבית, ובמיוחד אלה שבונים את הזהות שלהם, מגיבים בבלבול. לדעתי האישית, מי שנפגע מאוד הם גם הילדים שהיו מתחת לגיל 6 באותן שנים, כי הם הכי תלויים בוויסות של ההורים, ואת התוצאות לכך אנחנו נראה בעוד שנים.
"ההיבט החברתי, מן הסתם, נפגע גם הוא מאוד. הליך חיברות עוזר לאנשים לווסת את התחושות הפנימיות על ידי שיתוף והכלה. בתקופת הסגרים האפשרויות לחיברות היו מאוד דלות, הרשתות החברתיות נכנסו לתמונה, ולצד הדברים הטובים שנוצרו בזכותן נוצר גם מצג שווא גדול מאוד. אנשים הראו דברים מאוד מסוימים מחייהם, ואצל בני נוער רבים הדבר התפרש כאילו כך מתנהלים בחיים האמיתיים.
"הצעירים היו דבוקים מחוסר ברירה לתקשורת הדיגיטלית, שהיא תקשורת פחות מווסתת. התקשורת הזו גם העלתה את תחושת הבדידות, כי כשחבר כותב לך 'חיבוק', זה שונה מאשר לראות את העיניים הנוצצות שלו ולהרגיש את החיבוק שלו בפועל".
ד"ר אילן טל: "חשוב לנסות להבין מה עובר על הילד מבחינה רגשית. הרי הוא הגיע לפגיעה עצמית כי משהו קרה לו. כהורה, אתה רץ מייד למצוא את הפתרון, אבל דווקא כאן צריך לשבת ולהקשיב, גם אם זה אורך הרבה זמן, בלי לשאול 'למה עשית?'"
לדברי ד"ר טל, גם הלגיטימציה להציג לראווה את הדברים ה"טובים" פחות, שבאה כביכול לידי ביטוי יותר בטיקטוק (להבדיל מהאינסטגרם), מגיעה מתוך משחק.
"אמנם הומור הוא דרך ביטוי טובה להתמודדות עם קושי, אבל אם רק צוחקים על זה נשארנו עם היעדר ויסות של תחושות קשות", הוא מדגיש. "אפשר להשתמש ברשתות בצורה טובה, להיכנס מרצון כדי לראות אנשים שדומים לך, ללמוד משהו, להתעדכן באופנה או בחידושים שאני אוהב - וליהנות מהם. אבל כשאתה משתמש ברשת החברתית כדי להכשיל את עצמך, ולראות עד כמה כל השאר טובים וכמה אני גרוע, זה שימוש רע.
"גם להיכנס לרשתות כדי לווסת רגש רע, בלי לשלוט בתוכן או בזמן שבו אתה מבלה ברשת, זה לא שימוש טוב. במובן הרגשי, זה שקול לשימוש באלכוהול או בסמים כדי לווסת רגש רע. אני מאמין שילד או בן נוער יודעים טוב מאוד מתי הם נכנסים לטיקטוק כדי להימנע, למשל, מלשמוע ריב קולני של ההורים".
הרשת לא הגבירה את תופעת החקיינות של פגיעות עצמיות?
"גיל ההתבגרות הוא גיל של חיפוש זהות. הנוער בודק במה הוא שונה מהסביבה ובמה הוא דומה לה, ומנסה להשתייך לקבוצה מסוימת. ואז, לעיתים, עלולה להיווצר חקיינות גם בפגיעות עצמיות, בשימוש באלכוהול ובסמים, וכדומה.
"באופן עקרוני, בני נוער שפגיעה עצמית לא מדברת אליהם לא ישמעו עליה - ולא יבצעו אותה. בני נוער שמראש נמצאים במצוקה עלולים להיתקל בהתנהגויות פוגעניות, ולעיתים גם לחקות אותן מתוך ניסיון להרגיש שייך או 'מגניב'.
"חשוב לציין שבכל שלב אנחנו, המבוגרים, צריכים להעדיף להתייחס לתופעה ולדבר על האקט הוויסותי הזה, בין שמדובר בשימוש באלכוהול ובין שבשינה מרובה מדי או אפילו בפגיעה עצמית שהילד לעיתים אומר שהיא נעשית 'סתם', בהיסח הדעת. אסור לנו להתעלם מאקט כזה. הרשתות החברתיות הופכות את אקט הפגיעה העצמית למשהו משחקי ומינורי, אבל צריך להתייחס אליו מאוד ברצינות ולייחס חשיבות לעובדה שלילד רע ושאפשר לסייע לו. הרי אין חלופה להורה שיושב עם הילד, מקשיב לו, שם לב לשינויים שמתרחשים אצלו ומדבר איתו על הקשיים שלו.
"You can't just expect the mental health system to address these distresses. The response should be at home, at school, in the community, with parents of children in the same framework who sit together and notice how to provide a solution for all the children around - and not just your own child. If the parents don't work together, the children won't work together either, and the social difficulty will only deepen."
According to Dr. Tal, the main thing is to try to understand what the child is going through emotionally. "After all, he came to the point of abusive behavior because something happened to him. And I know - listening to a child is hard, because as a parent you immediately run to find the solution. But it is precisely here that we need to sit and listen, even if it takes a long time, without asking 'why didn't you tell' or 'why did you do?' but to reach with the child the understanding that the options we believe in will be available to him.
"Parents need to normalize the dialogue with their children at home and give approval to their feelings, even if they seem illogical on the surface. And they need to talk among themselves about ways to solve. Taking away from the child the means of self-harm, for example, is a step that will not help, because the means will always exist, and if we do not reach the root cause of the young person harming himself, he will continue to do so."
"You made me feel normal"
When it comes to youth mental health, it's hard to ignore the presence of discourse around the subject on social media. Videos about eating disorders or depression are not content favored by the algorithm, but the younger audience votes for them with thousands of likes, comments and shares. For example, a video shared by Yoni Almakais on TikTok, in which he lightly presented how a young person like him, who suffered from eating disorders and panic attacks, behaves so far has garnered about 400,<> views and received thousands more comments and shares - numbers that are considered high when it comes to "heavy" content.
Almakais (21) is an influencer, content creator and fashion blogger, who maintains a TikTok page with about a quarter of a million followers and an Instagram account with 24,<> followers. He uploads humorous videos every day about life, and often about things that touch his heart. Among other things, he incorporates pictures of himself as a child who suffered from bullying and ostracism, and conducts "conversations" with them like the adult Yoni, in which he describes to Yoni the good future that awaits him.
Yoni Almakais. "I always emphasize that we must be careful not to conduct self-diagnoses, which today are called 'TikTok diagnoses,'" Photo: Efrat Eshel
According to Almakais, he started uploading the videos "out of a desire to vent and make people laugh," and to feel like he belonged during the pandemic, when everyone was in lockdown.
"At that time, I consumed a lot of content about mental states, about sharing, and I really connected to the way people showed their true selves. This led me to share deep things I'm going through with myself, usually in the form of a conversation with a friend, but also in describing a situation in photography from the creator's perspective (POV), which is an easier genre to digest. In such videos you can talk about the most difficult topics and convey an important message in an entertaining way.
"Slowly, the responses started coming. Teenagers started writing to me, 'You're Bull me,' 'You're reading my mind,' 'You made me feel normal,' and so on. There are even those who write to me that through my video they understand that they also have a similar problem.
"But here it is also important for me to emphasize that we must be careful not to conduct self-diagnoses, which today are called 'TikTok diagnoses.' There are professionals whose job it is to diagnose mental conditions, and they need to be helped. TikTok can't take the place of professionals."
Don't you sometimes feel too exposed?
"I'm exposed, but at the end of the day it's a video that I choose how to shoot and how to show. I feel a kind of responsibility towards my followers, so the videos should be easy to digest and still convey the message - from my personal experience, since only an experienced person can convey the small nuances of what the person is experiencing. But it's important to me that they don't make a mistake and don't think I'm a professional."
According to Almaqays' latest statistical analysis of his account data, about three-quarters of his followers are girls aged 20-14, the rest are boys aged 18-16. Last week, while doing a Q&A series on Instagram, a follower asked him, "How do you feel meaning in the things you do? I feel like everything I do is casual." Another wrote: "Why not die, actually?" Almakais answers all of them from his own experience and personal opinion, and he says he "frees up a lot" to get help from professionals.
"I always say that whoever needs help – it's important that he contact an HMO. I add all the links to organizations that help, such as the Eran hotline, Kol Mila, and helplines for mental health after sexual assault. Sometimes I get so many responses to a mental health video that I sit down and say, 'Wow, the audience identifies with this pain, and that means there are many who experience it.'"
Does sharing do you good too, as a sharer?
"It makes me overwhelming. I unpack a lot on TikTok. 90% of the time I do it cynically, but if something sits on my heart, I drop it like a bomb. I think it does good for both me and my audience, with whom I formed a good acquaintance and connection."
According to Yaniv Weizman, CEO of Teenk, an advertising and content agency for youth and young adults and founder of the gay youth organization, the online discourse around mental health has never been more burning among youth than it has been in the past two years.
"The discourse, which was once special only to treatment rooms, quietly and concealedly, now exists on TikTok channels and has received names that are easier to identify with," he explains. "For example, if in the past a child with social difficulties was said to be 'shy,' today he is defined as 'with social anxiety,' a term that is easier for teenagers to digest. A very open dialogue was created, and awareness of mental health increased."
Yaniv Weizman. "Walking around with a basket of fears", photo: Joshua Yosef
As someone who studies adolescent behavior, Weizmann observes that it is now much harder to motivate them to act. "They walk around with a basket of fears and anxieties and can't get off it. Some suffer from social fear and do not want to meet the outside world, do not want to get up and do things. Sometimes, in an attempt to stop themselves, they seek help with drugs, alcohol or cigarettes, which certainly does not help – and even makes things worse.
"And when they turn to social media, they find their place and don't feel alone, because when a TikToker or Instagram content creator talks about their anxieties and depressions, they make others with those feelings feel normal."
Do you think it's right to turn someone who describes depression or anxiety they experience into a web star?
"That's a great question that doesn't have a definitive answer. On the one hand, there is an increase in awareness, which is a good thing. On the other hand, you have to think about how to give a 14-year-old girl, say, the right tools to deal with what she sees in the influencer or content creator, and not project the content onto herself, especially when it comes to mental health."
"Intensive intervention"
The Education Ministry said in response to the article: "The lockdowns due to the coronavirus have affected youth in various ways. On the one hand, a group to which distance learning contributed greatly and enabled learning with few distractions in a quiet environment. On the other hand, students who found it difficult to return to the routine of studies and study habits they had in the past and developed a significant learning gap. Beyond the educational aspects, there are social-emotional aspects. It should be remembered that there are children and young people who over time have overcome the influences of the period.
"A group that requires our attention is students with social-emotional difficulties who experience great emotional distress due to their distancing from the social framework provided by the school, to the point of emotional and social disconnection from school and children's society. A group that is actually at emotional risk. The Psychological-Counseling Service Division works to assist the students – each and every one according to his needs."
The Ministry of Health said: "We see great importance in providing a mental health response for children and adolescents. In recent years, the Ministry of Health has invested considerable resources in strengthening the mental health hospitalization system and in adding and making services accessible in the community, from clinic treatment to various intensive treatments such as crisis intervention centers. From this perspective, hundreds of millions of shekels will be added to the various mental health content worlds in the current budget.
"As part of the measures planned for 2023/4, the Ministry will allocate considerable resources to test support the health funds to shorten appointments and develop hospitalization-preventive responses, etc. At the same time, the Ministry budgets and accompanies the establishment of nine crisis intervention centers in hospitals, for immediate, intensive and brief intervention in children and adolescents in severe mental health crises."
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