The unknown man wearing a visor hat standing in the corner of a subway station in Washington City was like a silent shadow, trampled at the feet of hundreds of passersby rushing to work. Its precise location, next to the garbage can, certainly did not contribute to the distinction of the sounds emanating from the violin he was holding.
Over the course of 43 minutes, the same man played six classical pieces, which were received with almost complete indifference by station goers and earned him about $57 he managed to collect. For comparison: the value of the ancient violin he played was about four million dollars. A few moments after he finished playing, a passerby approached him and said, "I saw your performance at the Library of Congress. She was fantastic. It's the kind of thing that can only happen in Washington." The player briefly snorted, "Thank you."
This scene, which took place in 2007, was later discovered as part of an experiment conducted by the Washington Post, and was even published as a Pulitzer Prize article. The unknown player, then, is none other than Joshua Bell, one of the most well-known violinists in the world. Bell, a Grammy-winning American Jew, has performed with many of the world's most important orchestras, and even performed the solo segment on the Oscar-winning soundtrack to the film "The Red Violin."
A few years later, when he retroactively tried to analyze his performance at the station, he told U.S. Public Television that in his performances he needed "give and take" from the audience, and on another occasion added that there was a huge difference between the tin stand at the train station and the Hess thrown in the concert hall, when he, and the audience, expected him to perform perfectly.
"When you change the story, the music changes," distills for me Shenkar Vadantam, author of the book "Should We Lie to Ourselves," which he co-wrote with Bill Messler (Tchelet Publishing). "The music Bell played next to the bin, when passersby rush past him on their way to work, is nothing like the music in a concert hall for which tickets cost hundreds of dollars."
Money and the situation play a role here.
"When you pay a lot of money, sit in the hall next to insiders and devote all your attention to the music, our ears are different, and so is the music we listen to."
"When you change the story, the music changes." Violinist Joshua Bell, Photo: AP
The story of Bell and the conclusions drawn from it are further evidence of the ability of human beings to deceive themselves, to brazenly lie, in order to align themselves with the external reality, or with the one they have built inside their heads. Vedantam argues that while self-delusion is inherent in humankind, it is not as terrible as we are accustomed to think, and even essential. In his book, he argues that this fraud can contribute to our mental and physical health, our work relationships, relationships, and even our success in life.
Liar and good to him
Social psychologist Sheldon Solomon argues that every human being is actually a "breathing, destroying lump of flesh," but because we have trouble thinking about ourselves this way, humans tend to invent "convenient fictions" to distract and comfort us. It's how we manage the terror of death and escape its grip on our lives, and it reaches our bedroom, Vedantem says.
What role does self-delusion play in our love life?
"A huge role. The well-known proverb says that love is blind. When we love, we prefer to pay attention to the wonderful things about the object of love, and ignore the negative things. This is of course very functional, allowing us to find partners, love our children, establish close family relationships, and also love many more types of people. I don't know if it will surprise you, but I think the more self-deception we have about our partners, the happier we will be."
Explain.
"Imagine two people who have been married for many years. In one case, the couple sees each other clearly and notices any defect that has accumulated over 25 years, it is said. Imagine the degree of happiness in their relationship. On the other hand, imagine another couple, also married for 25 years, but they focus mainly on the positive and good things in each of them, and even ignore annoying things. It's interesting to imagine which couple would be happier."
"Almost every great victory in a battle involves some element of self-deception, that is, a belief that you don't know is really true, and actually helps you win the battle. Similarly, almost every lost battle stemmed from people not looking at reality as it is."
I wonder to Vedantem what is the difference between self-lies and the success he mentioned earlier, and as an example he cites the superstition of Michael Jordan, whom he mentions in his book. "Jordan wore his pants from North Carolina College every game, under the Chicago Bulls uniform, and there are plenty of other examples. Studies have shown that structured, repetitive behavior helps us relax and overcome anxiety. Sometimes rationality can help us do the right thing and live successful lives, and sometimes self-deception serves our purposes. In other words, we benefit from not seeing the world as it actually is."
Structured behavior calms anxiety. Jordan, Photo: Reuters
And Dantum is not satisfied only with the example of Jordan, who changed the face of world basketball, but also reaches the company that changed the world of technology - Apple. In an interview with Professor Americus Reed of the Wharton School of Business, Reed told him: "The iPod is a made-up concept, but Apple was smart enough to tell a story about how the iPod somehow had a kind of self-expression that made it different from other players, even though the iPod is like any other MP3 player. So they created psychological distinction, using a made-up concept, and then imparted to that concept all of Apple's brand thoughts and ideas about creativity, fun and sexy design and all that stuff."
Apple's stories focus us on very specific features in their products. You talk about the fact that even from an evolutionary point of view, it is not necessary that in every situation we see things as they were.
"One of the points I make in the book is basically an evolutionary argument that, ultimately, evolution is not interested in whether something is right or wrong, but whether it works or not. So, for example, our eyes see only a small part of the world around us, and through visual and brain processing, we actually perceive a smaller part of the light that washes over our eyes.
"An engineer might say that what we're seeing isn't an accurate description of the world, and that it's a mistake. But evolution is not interested in helping our eyes function as cameras or our brains function as robots. Evolution wants to find ways in which we can be functional. Therefore, it is important that we ask ourselves, when is it functional for us not to see reality accurately."
Illusion is not a dirty word. Vedantam, Photo: Douglas Sonders
An empathetic leader, there is such a thing
Vednam, 54, has been studying the wonders of the human brain for years and hosts a popular podcast on the subject, called "The Hidden Brain." He studied mechanical engineering in India and completed a master's degree in journalism at Stanford University. For about a decade he worked for The Washington Post, where he wrote a column called "The Department of Human Behavior." He went on to write his first scientific book, The Hidden Mind, which dealt with the unconscious biases that influence human behavior, and became a New York Times bestseller. Among other things, he lectured at Harvard University and Columbia University, and served as a senior researcher at the Woodrow Wilson International Center in Washington, D.C.
The idea for his current book came from his many preoccupations around the wonders of the brain. "We all know the idea that self-deception is a bad thing, which can deceive us. We know this at the level of individuals, at the level of communities and also at the level of countries. But if that's the case, why is self-deception so common? And then I thought that if it's so common, there must be positive things about it."
For some reason, our culture likes to perpetuate examples related to the negative aspect of self-deception: the Titanic, the Yom Kippur War in Israel, and to some extent the Twin Towers disaster. When did it bring about huge successes?
"It's complicated. We are witnessing that self-deception is responsible for both disasters and successes. Almost every great victory in a battle involves some element of self-deception, that is, a belief that you don't know is really true, and actually helps you win the battle. Similarly, almost every lost battle was due to people not looking at reality as it is. My point is that just because self-deception often causes harm doesn't mean it always does."
"When my daughter was born, I didn't think she was the most special in the universe, but in the history of the universe. It's a useful illusion. Parenting and family are complex, difficult and expensive, and this illusion that our children are gifts from heaven helps us pay the symbolic and concrete costs."
The battles you refer to have national characteristics. In the book you quote Yuval Noah Harari, who in his book A Brief History of Humanity wrote: "There are no gods in the world, no nations, no business companies, no money, no human rights, no laws and no justice – except in the common imagination of human beings." As a result of Noah Harari's trial, you argue that nations are also based on self-deception.
"All peoples in some ways are based on self-deception. Nations, after all, are human creations. We draw lines in the sand and say, this part is mine, and this part is yours. There are historical, religious, tribal, ethnic, and cultural reasons why nations come together. And arguably, they are all in some sense a variation of self-deception. The lines we draw don't really exist, but our belief in these lines and their power allows nations to come into being in the first place."
Perhaps the obvious question is: What illusions should states have?
"I guess I wish peoples had the illusion that they exist to do good in the world, not just for the people who live within their borders, but also for the people who live outside their borders."
Book cover,
On the national side, how problematic is the fact that people lie to themselves at crucial junctures and key positions? This is relevant for leaders and politicians, but also for scientists, doctors, economists and even journalists. The harms that self-deception brings on decision-makers can be severe.
"The story of power, in many ways, is a story of self-deception. ' Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely,' says the phrase, and I think that's a testament to the power of self-deception. When people have power, they begin to see the world differently.
"In one episode of The Hidden Mind, we talked about how often the people who come to power are able to be empathetic, and see things from other people's perspectives, because these skills are precisely what help people get elected to leadership positions.
"But once they have authority, it blinds them and makes them act in selfish ways and focus on themselves. One can examine the foreign policies of many nations and understand the horrors that self-deception has wrought. Many events that took place in Nazi Germany were the result of self-deception on the part of the Nazi leaders, and also the result of mass delusions on the part of the German people."
Vanity and drowning. Titanic, Photo: GettyImages
Don't be a robot
The German philosopher Immanuel Kant has often argued that truth must be told in every situation, since it is "the basis of all duties." Kant, therefore, disliked lies, and probably with him most people. Vedantem says polls show that a majority of Americans rate honesty as an important factor in a president's qualities, more than leadership and intelligence. But is the truth always so absolute?
An American study by Mayo Clinic found that the way doctors tell a patient about his illness will affect his chances of survival, and that the chances of optimistic patients surviving increase by 19 percent. Vedantem believes that doctors have a responsibility to give hope and optimism to patients, but on the other side is medical ethics.
"All peoples in some ways are based on self-deception. We draw lines in the sand and say, this part is mine, and this part is yours. The lines we draw don't really exist, but our belief in these lines and their power allows nations to come into being in the first place."
"If there is a situation where a doctor presents a very dismal prognosis to a patient, it is entirely likely that the patient will have worse recovery outcomes. The ways in which we are talked to, the ways in which we receive information about our health, turn out to have very profound effects on our well-being and recovery, even from serious illnesses. I argue that the highest goal of the physician is to maximize and improve the patient's health, and the doctor should strive for this. We go to the doctor to get better health outcomes."
But not in exchange for telling half-truths.
"If better health outcomes are guaranteed by doctors who present an optimistic view of the patient's future, and I don't mean a delusionally optimistic view, then I think that's what doctors should do."
A lot of doctors will disagree with you.
"Doctors are often afraid to bear legal responsibility in cases where they presented a rosy picture to a patient who eventually died, God forbid. On the other hand, if a doctor tells a patient that he has three months left, and he lives three years, no one will complain. No one gets upset when bad news turns out to be wrong. This, of course, is not the case when good news turns out to be wrong. This is a complex legal question that is difficult for me to answer, but I do know, as I said, that from a patient's point of view, I would like the information that will help me recover optimally."
In a broader context, you argue that self-delusion is inherent in human beings. It is interesting to think what the world would be like without her.
"It's really an interesting thought experiment, and I'm not sure I have an exact answer to it. One can imagine a world full of robots behaving in perfectly rational ways. After all, factory robots do not deceive themselves, do not suffer from illusions, and in some ways - always do the rational thing. Such a world, in which robots fail to act and observe reality as humans, was much more rational and also much less interesting than the one we live in."
"The high goal of the physician is to maximize and improve the patient's health. If good health outcomes are guaranteed by doctors who present an optimistic view of the patient's future, and I don't mean a delusionally optimistic view, then that's what doctors should do."
Finally, as someone who constantly investigates self-deception, I have to ask you: When was the last time you lied or cheated yourself?
"One of the simplest ways to detect self-deception in our lives is to look at the relationship we have with our children. Parenting changed me. I perceive myself as a very devoted father, but this devotion also spills over into my beliefs about my child. When my daughter was born, not only did I think she was the most special child in the universe, I thought she was the most special child in the history of the universe. Obviously, on a rational level, this cannot be true, and it must be self-deception. On the other hand, this is an example of what I would call a useful illusion.
"If you will, parents feel that their children are their whole world, which is also why allows them to be so devoted to their children. Parenting and family are complex, often difficult and expensive, and this illusion that our children are gifts from heaven helps us pay the symbolic and concrete costs. So when was the last time I deluded myself? Probably a few minutes ago, when I looked at my daughter."
"In practice, we perceive only a small part of the world around us. That is, evolution is not interested in helping our eyes function as cameras, but in finding ways in which we can be functional. It is important that we understand when it is functional for us not to see reality accurately, as it is."
Awareness of this illusion is a significant step and can help develop compassion for ourselves and others. When we are more aware, we better understand ourselves and others. You told me that it's important to you that people embrace compassion more.
"My hope, which I try to apply to my daily life, is indeed that people will exercise a little more compassion for people who disagree with them. Let them exercise compassion for people whose views clash with theirs. We often tend to imagine that our political opponents are full of illusions and self-deception and that we ourselves are perfect, flawless.
"But just as we are able to see the flaws in other people, we carry the same flaws ourselves. This is how it works, the flaws and self-deceptions characterize the behavior of all people, and self-deception in many ways is the basis of the existence of all human society."
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