I also want to be bitten by the fly that erases the center of truth in people's brains and subjugates them to someone else's will. I also want to give up my sense of judgment, my sense of justice, the distinction between right and wrong, and get everything I need to think, say, feel. I'm very tired of thinking on my own, that someone will take responsibility from me and decide for me.
I also want to sit in the studio where Yigal Amir applauds and think, "What a wonderful audience." I too want to be a patriot and in the name of patriotism to hate, boycott, ridicule, diminish, divide, flatter, wave arms like a vane on amphetamine. I, too, want to be close to the regime, to shelter in its shadow, to enjoy its pleasures and protection.
I also want to be discriminated against in the media, I also want to receive messages on WhatsApp and say them as if I had just thought about them. Want to be a conduit for lies, want to be the first to spread them before everyone else accepts them and is forced to repeat them secondhand, third, hundred. Want to recite spins and get dizzying applause.
I also want to feel victimized as a permanent state of mind. How pleasant it is to wallow in the swamp of victims. It's never "I'm responsible," always someone else, in another government. I, too, want to talk condescendingly about people who are older than me, smarter than me, much better than me, to call them enemies, to cancel them, to boycott.
I, too, want to appoint my colleagues to all equal positions, and to do death to talented officials who sit on good positions so that they will leave and make room for my relatives. I'm dying to arrange a job for them without the obligation to excel, the main thing is that they take care of me after retirement.
I, too, want to receive applause and support on social media from the growing audience, which consumes my lies and calls them the truth. Blind loyalty suits me. I, too, want to accept the formula of how to harness the innocence and love of Israel of a wide public to my needs. I want to reinvigorate their consciousness so that they will give me the power to exclude them even more from all centers of influence.
I also want them to empty all my faces and fill them with new content. I want to be a zombie too. But something in me resists. I hope to subdue him very soon, and join the greatest success story in the Jewish people since the days of Shabtai Zvi.
Quit
A new study was published this week and didn't tell me anything. News, the new one resumed, causes depression. Admit you were surprised. Admit that you are addicted. Thank me right away at the end of this section.
As with any addiction, first of all we must admit publicly that we are not free, and that without this substance we enter the crease. All excuses need to be cleared - it's important, it's interesting, everyone consumes it, if I don't consume I won't be a resident of the world, essential things happen, I want to be a part. None of this is true. These are all self-convincing to keep seeing and hearing news from the moment you open your eyes until you close them. Very bad, look at yourself. You're in the worst mood in years.
True, reality has a part in it, and reality is disturbing, but that doesn't mean you have to hear about it all the time. You can catch up once a day, five minutes, and move on. You can go to demonstrations of one kind or another, but you have to stop swallowing the poison.
Take an example from Sahbakchem. I was completely weaned. I was someone who lived in editions, seeing them all at the same time, and between editions flipped through newspapers, scrolled websites, constantly feeding myself this nuclear waste, and in between presenting a daily three-and-a-half-hour current affairs program. It affected my mood a lot, especially since the beginning of the political mess back in the years.
I decided to downsize. First of all, I downloaded current affairs programs on the radio, first and foremost programs of opinionated people who fight for the public's enjoyment. I felt that their anger was seeping into my heart and not making me a better person. Cut.
Then I downloaded the interview plans. I recognized that I didn't gain anything from them. Lies and pretenses and endless wrangling. No thank you. Then came the main editions. You don't have to. Getting the news I need to be fully updated on the Internet, understanding on my own what is going on. Reduce, believe me. You'll feel better. Less news, less blood pressure medication. Say no to the offer to be angry continuously from morning to night. Disconnect. Reconnect with yourself.
Galei Tzahal
These days there is talk about the future of Army Radio. "My" station also fell long ago into a never-ending series of current affairs programs, as if current events were the only topical thing in our lives.
So without offending anyone, I suggest returning to what it was when I joined the station. Programs of funny, witty presenters, non-topical talk, music, quizzes, fun. Give me back the heirs of Eli Israeli, Dori Ben Zeev, Erez, mine. Give me a creation and not trouble.
In the laundromat
The laundromat opened a post office. Also in the explosions. The grocery store has long since arrived, and the greengrocer is just considering putting packages next to the shelf of celery. At the moment, there is not a single store, business, kiosk, stall or botka in our housing complex that does not have a parcel distribution center of some kind. And everyone is busy, and everyone is satisfied. The packages bring customers, and if you come to pick up a package, you buy something on the way. "Better than any advertisement," one of the busiest business owners told me as I picked up a package and spent 50 shekels I hadn't planned because something was winking off my shelf.
And I thought: Why don't I open a distribution center in my home as well? And so I won't have to go to another store in the neighborhood every time something comes from China, everything will come to me directly, and along the way neighbors will also come in, I'll welcome them, we'll babble a little, we'll see what they order, I'll invite me too, so that I won't be left behind in the package race.
And I also thought, if the post office was privatized like this and every citizen can be a branch, what about an HMO? Why shouldn't there be a doctor who receives an X-ray at Ronen's mini-market, an X-ray at Ofer's from the vegetables, a CT at Avram the cobbler's? For sure it will be easier to get an appointment from this nightmare of trying to find someone to accept you these days. I had an appointment for a hearing test for another four months. If it had been at the discount store in the center, I'd probably listen to the beeps and raise my hands accordingly this afternoon, next to the shelf of disposables.
Thus, more and more essential services will be privatized – the Population Authority offices, for example. Who will prevent the butcher from issuing a passport? And tax bureaus, what about them? Can't Ehud from the bike shop give me a mole while changing my wheel? Easily.
If during COVID-42 we learned to work from home, now we will learn to turn the home into a branch of the state. Some will check in for flights in the living room, some will prefer to open a drop of milk in the room of the child who left home at the age of <>, and some will transfer ownership of a car in the parking lot. How adequate. We are before the decentralized age, which will give everyone employment instead of the one drunk by artificial intelligence. I am also thinking of opening a police station in my basement. My wife will investigate, the girls will patrol at night, I will be the police commissioner after no one is willing to accept the job.
That's it, enough imagination for one Friday. Always happy to read comments, but manages to concentrate only briefly. Shabbat Shalom.
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