Since the deal was approved by the government, I have been very careful not to develop too much hope. I take care of myself and protect my childhood. In addition to Eitan, I have two other daughters – a 10-year-old daughter and a 9-year-old and <>-month-old baby. I didn't tell the older girl about the deal, so she wouldn't be alert and wouldn't be upset.
I think, like many families, that until we see them in the eye and hug them, as far as we're concerned, nothing happens.
Eitan Yahalomi, Photo: None
I try to sleep at night while suppressing my thoughts, suppressing the hope that this is happening in a moment – because it might not happen either. In light of the reports that they don't know where all the children are, I don't know if Eitan is on the list of 30 released children. I try not to develop expectations and hopes – and yet, when the deal was announced, I had a feeling of sadness inside. There is hope, but I try to push it away and just wait to see them with my eyes.
I'm very apprehensive about our first meeting. I'm afraid it won't be the same Ethan. I'm afraid he'll be angry with me, that he might be alienated, but I hope we can get over this and start a new life. There is a very strong connection between him and me. Eitan doesn't like walking around alone, wants us next to him, so I don't think he's there alone. It's a difficult and discouraging feeling.
My partner, Ohad, was also kidnapped from us after being shot and wounded. I don't know how he's doing, but I can say that he, too, would have demanded that all the children be released first, not just our own child. I know it tears the families apart, it creates a difficult "Solomon's Trial" – but in my opinion, the children should have come out a long time ago. They can't be pawns in wars at all.
Every person has value
When I read comments calling to "enter Hamas" and deal with the issue of the abductees later, it's very hard for me. Our uniqueness as a people is our humanity, our desire to return abductees and captives even at a high price - and the understanding that every human being has value. For me, the state made a justified and correct decision in approving the agreement to release the children. After that, the state will have to continue fighting for all the abductees. There will be no victory without their return, everyone.
Photos of the abductees, photo: Oren Ben Hakon
We also have Ohad who was taken injured, and we are not giving up on him! We will fight to bring everyone back. After the disaster, we decided that we were starting a new life. We moved to a kibbutz in Emek Hefer, the girls entered the frameworks and started a new life, waiting for Ohad and Eitan to join us.
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