"I can't believe I can publish his picture and the name of my strong soul killer," Elisheva Panibalov wrote on social media a week ago. "The mohel Rachamim Haim from Afula raped me physically for ten years of my life - and the rest mentally. But now it's over. He won't be able to abuse or hurt me, and I no longer recognize him as my father." For the first time in her life, in which Elizabeth went through horrors that the soul cannot comprehend as a child, she bravely reveals her name and her face openly. Shame switches sides now.
This week, the Nazareth District Court accepted the prosecutor's position and sentenced Chaim, Elisheva's father, to a resounding sentence of 19 years in prison, 18 months suspended sentence and compensation to Elisheva, after he was convicted of serious sexual offenses. The verdict includes graphic descriptions, which the newspaper paper cannot contain, of many cases of sexual abuse against Elisheva, the sixth of Haim's nine children, from when she was about 3 years old until she was about 13 and a half years old. For a decade, according to the verdict, Chaim frequently committed rape, sodomy, and indecent acts on his daughter.
The indictment against Haim was filed on January 24, 2023, but at the first hearing in the case, on February 14, it emerged that he had left the country the day before the hearing. Therefore, an arrest warrant was issued for him, and he was arrested in Ukraine and extradited to Israel on 11 May, and has since been behind bars.
"The defendant took advantage of the complainant's dependence and love for him to satisfy his desires, lust and sexual urges, while harming her in her home and causing her pain time and time again," attorney Einat Gottesman, head of criminal affairs at the Northern District Attorney's Office, who represented Elisheva, said in sentencing arguments. "He even enlarged and wrapped his actions, ostensibly, in great love and fear of God, as if they were normal acts permitted by God's protection. At the age of 29, when the complainant could no longer bear the heavy burden on her, she complained to the police."
Pity lives. Elisheva: "He threatened me that if I complained he would say I was mentally ill", photo: from X
Judge Renana Galpaz-Mokdi wrote in her sentencing that the offenses attributed to the defendant were committed completely and exclusively by him, and that "the defendant, as an adult, the complainant's father and a person who served in a religious capacity, was well aware of the severity and ugliness of the acts and could, at any point over the long period, cease his actions... Moreover, the cessation of harm was also planned by him.
"The acts were carried out in the shadow of the home of the accused and the complainant, in a place that was supposed to be the safest place for the complainant, which suddenly became a trap. The acts were carried out for about a decade on a daily basis, day and night... The defendant, by his actions, robbed his daughter of her childhood years, her innocence, the right to grow up in security and the right to the integrity of her body and soul. With evil and without mercy, she was severely hurt, which manifested itself in all aspects of her life over many years."
Despite the long years since the commission of the offenses, the judge decided that the defendant was behind bars for a long time, adding that "the punishment will reflect society's aversion to sexual offenses in the family, and the clear message that minors must be protected from such offenses and severely punished those who choose to commit them."
"I didn't move, I froze"
We have been accompanying Elisheva (32), now a mother of four who lives in the ultra-Orthodox city of Kiryat Sefer, for a long time, and in fact since then she courageously filed a complaint against her father – a well-known public figure whom many admired as a rabbi, a writer and a mohel from Afula. We received correspondence between them in which he admits to hurting her, and from her mouth we hear descriptions that the soul finds difficult to grasp, horrors that are horrifying to digest.
She was born Naama, the sixth daughter in a family of nine children from Afula, and suffered routine and high-intensity violence and unrestrained sexual abuse. "I was a good, quiet girl, a real sandwich," she recalls, "and almost every night, when Dad came home from his job as a mohel, hell began.
"I remember the creaking of his shoes running down the stairs to the top floor where my sister's and my room were, the rubbing of hands against each other. He was so disturbed and manipulative that as he walked to my room, when I was scared to death, he would say, 'For the sake of uniqueness, blessed be He. For the sake of the mitzvah of education.' I was a 5 year old girl. Chick. I hid in terror in the closet, but he pulled me out of there."
Elisheva says that the discourse on the sexual issue at home was open and permissive compared to an ultra-Orthodox family. She said she and her siblings knew as children, for example, what a diagram of a baby's penis looked like, following the father's work as a mohel.
She also says that her father, as a clever manipulation to show how poor and lonely he was, repeatedly said that their mother "didn't satisfy him," as he put it. Doesn't give him what he "needs."
When was your first injury?
"When I was 3 and a half years old. One day I didn't feel well, my mother was nervous to go to work and I couldn't go to kindergarten. My father offered to take me to the doctor and from there to kindergarten. When we were left alone, he was quickly without clothes and I was stripped too. He explained to me about a woman's body, where each organ was located and what it meant, and satisfied himself in a variety of ways.
"After a long period of time, he came to his senses, panicked by the hour, got dressed and urged me to do the same and hurry to kindergarten, but I didn't move. He managed to go to his room and come back, and I froze and didn't get dressed. He dressed me himself and dragged me outside. On the way, he stopped at the supermarket and asked me to choose anything I wanted. In normal times I would storm the shelves in front of such a golden opportunity, excited by the selection and the offerings, but this time I just reached for the nearest shelf and took a yellow frilli. We arrived at the kindergarten dragging my legs heavily, not walking, and he pushed me from behind, trying to push me again and again.
"In kindergarten, I sat quietly in a chair and didn't go out to play with my friends. Even though I was really small, I think I realized that something dramatic and wrong had happened. I didn't know how to contextualize, but everything seemed strange and pointless. I'm in touch with the kindergarten teacher I had until now, and I've also verified the details with her.
"After that, there were many more mornings and nights in which he did as he pleased with me and my small body, not shying away from any way to satisfy his needs. Night after night, after everyone had gone to bed, he would come to my room and let go of his dark instincts. He would tell me that he made sure I was comfortable, that this was how I would learn to be a woman, that it was permissible to do that."
Did your mother know?
"I know there were signs on me that anyone who sees a little girl's body can understand."
With her father, Elizabeth continues to describe, everything was calculated with malicious wisdom. She recounts an incident in which he taught her to be scared to death of the police, thus setting the stage for the future. "One day I went with my brother to a department store to buy some things. I was 6 years old. On our way to checkout I saw a beautiful brooch that I liked. I tucked it into my hair and we went home, and when my parents found out, my father said in a freezing voice, 'Wait for me in the car.' I was genuinely sure he was going to throw me to the dogs.
"Today, as a mother, I think to myself that if my husband tells the child to get in the car to talk to him, he will feel safe. This is his father, he will protect and protect him. After a short drive, we reached the police station, and my father, a popular and well-known man in the city, shook hands and greeted the officers. I was terrified, was the punishment for the little pin going to be imprisonment? Suddenly, a handcuffed detainee passed by and my father said to me, 'Look at him, if you keep stealing you'll be detained just like him.'
"He didn't rush out, but waited for me to absorb the trauma a little more and see another handcuffed detainee passing by, so that the sight would be absorbed into my mind. When we left, we sat on a bench, where he explained to me that this was the future for a thief like me. Did this shocking tour make me stop reaching out? Of course not. Until at least the age of 13, the hardship and deprivation I lived in caused me to reach out again and again, especially when it came to food.
"There were many Fridays when we were punished not to attend the Friday night meal and to stay hungry. The reasons were esoteric. It's enough that I was late or didn't put my bag in place. I have a picture etched in my head, and I even sculpted it later in one of my pieces, in which I, a little girl, try to sneak in on a Friday night to get a bun to quiet my hunger. Of course, I was caught, punished again, and didn't eat. We brothers would plan between us that if someone was banned from a Shabbat meal, the other would make sure to sneak food for him. But there was no chance, everything was numbered - the challots, the meatballs, and woe betide those who deviated from the line or broke the rules."
"Captive of manipulation"
As part of coping with the trauma she experienced, Elisheva turned to art, through which she expresses the vulnerability she experienced. She presented two exhibitions of sculptures and paintings that were viewed by, among others, doctors, pediatricians, and various professionals and experts in the field of treating sexual trauma. In addition, in a diary she writes, she described her feelings for her abusive father.
Coping with the trauma. Painting of Elisheva, photo: from the private album
"Daddy, what did you do, what?" she writes painfully. "Every time you leaned over me, you split me. Every caress and love was a fire for the wounded soul. You took me apart and didn't even bother to collect the dirt. I thought, Dad, it was love, but as time goes on I taste the betrayal. Father?! It's a powerful and confusing word. A liar and exploitative word. I cannot forgive you for the terrible theft. You robbed my soul, I will not be able to see your face, not even in the courtroom. You also take away the right to be angry with you, you are a devil in human form."
In the flow of her words stands out the startling contrast that Elizabeth felt between the angry father who pulls out a belt and the father who speaks kind words while committing the most vile acts. "When I would get beaten to death I would look at him and try to remind him wordlessly that I was the same one he said about her that she was the most special, the best, that he cared the most for her to feel good. ' Hey, it's me,' I tried to say wordlessly, 'Did you forget? Just a few hours ago you caressed and hugged, how did you forget so quickly?'"
Didn't you tell anyone at that time – a teacher, a good friend?
"I wanted to tell a good friend of mine, but something in my brain realized that it wasn't worthwhile, that it didn't meet any haredi social code."
Over the years, he tried to threaten you not to speak, not to share what happened?
"Nope. He was so sure of himself, so sure of the immense fear he had outlined in us, that he didn't bother to ask me to shut up. Only when I was about to file a complaint, already a married woman with children, did he threaten me that if I complained he would say I was mentally ill and insane.
"After I got married, my relationship with my father had its ups and downs. He always made sure to keep his finger on the pulse, to see that I wouldn't 'do stupid' things and that I wouldn't think about complaining. I, for my part, felt a terrible mess about him. On the one hand, I felt very sorry for him and maybe even worried about him, and on the other hand, I felt that he was the biggest killer of my soul, the person who took everything from me before I even knew the world. It brought me to very difficult situations and unbearable post-traumatic coping, which manifests itself in every aspect of life - from the ability to hold on at work, through social relationships, to anxiety and decreased ability to function.
"I was captivated by his terrible manipulations. So that you understand how much I wanted to please him – and I know it sounds delusional and incomprehensible – but when my eldest son was born, I called him by two names, the other being after my father, Hai Rahamim. If that wasn't enough, I gave him great respect – he was the mohel."
Did you feel that you were left without layers of protection, that he was able to penetrate everything?
"Exactly. All my life I have been seriously overweight as a result of my difficult struggle. I had gastric shortening surgery and lost 60 kg, but then, in addition to all the craziness surrounding me, I felt much more defenseless. I wanted back the walls that protected me, so they wouldn't see me. I felt the urge again to hide under thick layers of fat. Unfortunately, the soul has won and I eat and eat even though my mind is screaming to me, 'Enough, enough, you wanted the surgery so badly, you wanted to feel good about your appearance.' Today I gained back 40kg out of the 60kg I lost.
"However, since then I have been able to free his chains from my soul. I removed his name from my son's name, and I also changed the name my parents called me, Naama, to Elisheva. I wanted nothing to do with that darkness."
Painting of Elisheva, photo: from the private album
"A step on the way to change"
Living in a mainstream Haredi city, Elisheva feared the repercussions of her complaint against her father, who is famous in her ultra-Orthodox community.
"My husband and I, who all my life has been inclusive, understanding and supporting me devotedly all along, went to a great rabbi, one of the strictest so-called, to consult with him about whether to file a complaint," she says. "His answer surprised me. He said that if it costs me mental health, I don't have to complain, but if I can, it is a mitzvah and a mental oversight to complain and thus save other victims. "What about blaspheming God?" I asked, and the rabbi replied that blaspheming God is to be silent when little girls can be hurt. I had no more doubt about what I should do.
"After I filed the complaint, my father fled to Ukraine, and the police, in cooperation with Interpol, managed to capture him. Even after this incident, I still couldn't overcome the pity I had for him. I remember seeing a short video that at the time was heartbreaking, in which I saw him handcuffed and legged as he stumbled slightly and sighed, and I hated myself and was angry at the 'grief' I had caused him. I felt sorry for him because he was already an adult, and I didn't eat or drink for an entire Shabbat, I just cried and thought I was dying of grief.
"What helped me reset myself was the distant memory of the police station, where he assured me that thieves end their lives in handcuffs. Now he, who has stolen my soul time and time again, ends the miserable journey of satisfying his desires in handcuffs. Just as he described. It helped me overcome the difficulty of seeing him handcuffed and sighing.
"Those who still helped me get through all the difficulties were the excellent professionals who accompanied me wisely and sensitively. Attorney Einat Gottesman, who was with me all along, fought for my truth, strengthened me and listened to the rhythm of my soul and my ability in the process. Attorney Sefi Granit-Takatzman of the Legal Aid Department at the Ministry of Justice, who accompanied me professionally and dedicatedly. And the escort from the Judith Sexual Assault Crisis Center Antonelli, who was with me from the first moment at the police station and since then adopted me as a daughter and never left me, while strengthening me and instilling in me the motto 'Believe the day will come, good will promise you' - and believes in victory and bringing justice to light."
Adv. Einat Gottesman, Photo: Northern District Attorney's Office
In the ultra-Orthodox city where you live, did they accept your story with understanding and support?
"Generally, yes. There were neighbors and acquaintances who asked how I could do such a thing to my father, and when I told them that it was to save other girls, and that I had asked for and received the rabbi's blessing, their opinion settled. I would be happy if they simply understood the basic simplicity of filing a complaint against such a sick person without having to rely on external approval, but this is the right step towards greater change."
And how did your family get it all?
"Even though they're not his biggest fans, which is an understatement, unfortunately they cut off contact with me immediately, including my sisters. I knew that was the price I would have to pay. Before Independence Day, my brother asked me if I would like to stay with them for a barbecue. I asked him if the reservation would be valid if I told him I had filed a complaint about Dad. He asked me, 'Did you submit?', I said yes, and at that moment he blocked me on WhatsApp. Members of the more distant family also severed the connection, such as his brothers who were honored by being brothers of the famous rabbi and now "have to suffer shame because of me."
"I thought it would be a lot harder for me after the sentence was handed down and the sentence was handed down, but even though today was really a hard day for me, I didn't completely collapse like I thought it would. The fact that strengthened me all along was the knowledge that there was a chance that I had saved other souls from suffering, from the murder of the soul.
"The truth is that along the way I never dreamed of filing a complaint, and I certainly didn't think about imprisonment, but when I saw that he was constantly obsessed with me, I demanded that he go to therapy. That was my condition not to file a complaint with the police. Of course, he didn't take my offer seriously, even though my brothers assured me he would. Even when I filed a complaint, the most I thought about him was that he would get community service, but of course the state takes the reins when it comes to punishment.
"Absurdly, even after the verdict, I told my lawyer how much I felt sorry for him and that it was hard for me. She told me that Dad didn't care about me as much as I did, and shared that in the discussions he was only interested in himself and his feelings and refused to express remorse or interest in what I was going through.
"It really helped me. Not only did he run me over under his dark instincts when I was little, but even today I don't care about the tip of his fingernail? Even today he doesn't take responsibility for his many despicable deeds and for the murder of my soul? If he rots in prison, he'll have a lot of time to do some soul-searching."
"I was able to free his chains from my soul." Elisheva, Photo: Avishag Shar-Yashuv
Father's Attorney: "We Will Appeal"
Attorney Sefi Granit-Tkatzman, who represents Elisheva on behalf of the Legal Aid Department at the Ministry of Justice, said, "This is a serious case of sexual offenses committed by a father against his daughter. The court gave proper punitive expression to the severe harm to the victim of the offense, with reference to the childhood and innocence that were stolen from her and the destruction left by the harsh acts committed on her by the accused.
"The sentence gives the victim the justice she deserves after so many years, and after the defendant even fled to Ukraine during his trial. The legal aid at the Ministry of Justice accompanied the victim of the crime throughout the difficult process, and we are pleased to see the justice done in the case and the appropriate punitive expression of the difficult acts."
Rachamim Haim's attorney, Tami Ullman, said in response: "We intend to appeal the verdict of the honorable court."
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