Who and what monogamy/AP, Reuters, Getty Images, Shutterstock
On a stormy January night, 36 bachelors in their 20s and 30s preferred to face strong winds, pouring rain and zero degree winter weather, and come to participate in a hot bachelor event in "Real Life", instead of staying at home and sliding left and right under the blanket.
According to the New York Post, this trend is none other than speed dating, yes yes - the one we all know from the 2000s.
What turns out?
Masses of young people of marriageable age are no longer able to look at the phone screen anymore, and want to get back to meeting people IRL (in real life): "Since the dating app revolution, the hype has always been around apps. But now the market is balancing," said organizer Kevin Wang, 28 himself, to the Post.
"There is a market for it. People are tired of skating."
And so it happened that the student pub was buzzing with laughter, high hopes and frantic energy.
"I dumped my boyfriend after seven years, and he gave me this gift"
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Margo Jacobs, a 28-year-old teacher from the Upper East Side, decided she needed to be "a little more intentional" about her romantic life this year, which She sadly concludes with the words "Lots of apps, lots of losers."
Jacobs has even tried to meet people in person - last year she asked two men on the street for their numbers, but neither of them stepped up to say anything about it.
Then she heard about speed dating on Reddit while looking for app alternatives.
"I thought I'd give it a chance because it can't be worse than what's happening now with apps. And even if nothing happens with it, it's only three hours of one night."
Joshua Cordero has already come for the third time to such a speed dating event, and although he has not yet had a second date with anyone he met there, he prefers it to online dating.
"I just love the face-to-face interaction," says the 30-year-old from Brooklyn.
"You get a sense of someone's real energy, vibe, and mannerisms—as well as a more complete picture of who they are, versus a profile and photo."
Ten rounds of a few minutes - everybody meets everybody/GettyImages, Chris Hondros
A speed dating event typically includes several rounds of "dates" of a few minutes, in which everyone meets everyone, at the end of which the singles will indicate 'yes' or 'no' for each meeting, and after weighing the results, the organizers inform each participant of his/her matches.
Wang, who works in technology and marketing, started these events as a side initiative when he recognized the hunger of New Yorkers to meet in person, especially after the pandemic: "Events like this save you time and help you get through the obscurity of dating apps," he said.
So far the group has already held more than 100 speed dating events - and the demand is only growing.
"When you're face-to-face versus online dating, you can think you have great chemistry with someone, but when you meet, you immediately realize there's nothing."
Deirdre Faye, a health and safety professional who moved to New York from Boston, also decided to try speed dating "Boston is a smaller community, so I would see the same people in bars and it was easier to say, 'I've seen you here before' - and start talking."
"If you use dating apps, you have to be really good at selfies, especially if you're a guy," said an anonymous single, 26, who works in cyber security, "I don't have good photos, so I'm really, really bad on dating apps. I get very few likes , and I think a lot of guys get very few likes."
But the fear of being the "creepy guy" makes it difficult for him to approach women on a daily basis - which is why he prefers this method.
"Many guys will be afraid to approach someone in person because they will feel that it might be sexual harassment," he said, and he reports that it is much easier for him to create conversations at a speed date event, where he knows that everyone is there for the same reasons.
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People are getting fed up with slides/ShutterStock
Jana Price, a 29-year-old video producer from Jersey, thinks it's a great idea: "Events like this can be a bit awkward, but my experience was good. It was really nice."
She said yes to 3 of the 10 men she met, 3 men she's not sure she would have swiped right in the context of an app.
"Sometimes you see a guy on the screen and it's like, 'Is he hot, or is he attractive because of a lack of options?'
And sometimes you just choose the best person in the moment," she explained with a laugh.
"I wonder if these three yeses are actual yeses, but we'll see after the meetings."
Regardless, she's glad she made connections.
"It opened my mind," Price said.
"I 100% think I'm more willing to give some of the 'yes' a chance, than if we had met on the app. When you get to talk to someone face to face, you can recognize if there is a connection between you, but if I only saw them and didn't talk to them Face to face, I would probably just say no."
Not everyone comes to these events optimistically - some of them have seven fights - like one woman who admits that she tried speed dating mainly because she was tired of men lying about their height on dating apps.
"I think I was taller than everyone until now," lamented the five-foot-tall woman, who asked to remain anonymous.
The next day, Kevin informed the participants by email if there was mutual interest - it was quite a successful evening.
18 couples out of a group of 36 singles were a match, and one date even had four matches.
On the other hand, there are also three women and one man who said 'no' to all ten.
"In any case, a cultural change is starting in the way people think about how to get a date today," says one of the organizers.
"And it seems to me that we will play a role in changing this perception."
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