A double mitzvah celebration in the foster family: "They are brothers to everything"

Six years after a man came to a new family in a moshav in the south, he celebrated his arrival at Mitzvah along with the biological son in the family. "There was no question at all," said the mother, who with her husband raises eight children, four of whom are in foster care. According to her, "give a corner to a child who has no frame - it empowers the whole house"

"They're not twins, but they are brothers to everything." Adam (pseudonym) and the biological son in the family

Bar Mitzvah with foster family (Photo: Image processing)

A man (pseudonym) came to a foster family in the south when he was only seven, and on the first day, Michal knew that he would celebrate a joint mitzvah with her biological son, the same age. Is Michal and Father Yaron the parents of eight children, four of whom are biological children and four more in foster care. For them, this is their life's work and they are already waiting for the day when the children will get married so that they will give a home to more children. After six years, during which a person was a family member for everything, the family held an exciting event in honor of the double mitzvah.

The C family is a foster family accompanied by the Summit Institute, a foster family service. The older girls, aged 29 and 25, are biological girls, their 23-year-old brother is a foster graduate while another 19-year-old brother is a biological son. This is in addition to two other sons, one of whom is biological and who are a foster child, and another two foster children - aged nine and five. According to the mother, "there was no question at all" about the Bar Mitzvah celebration.

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"They are not twins, but they are brothers to everything, and brothers do a bar mitzvah together," she explained. "The whole family was enlisted and helped. Everyone took part. It was evident and saw it at the event."

Michal said that at first the family had various concerns. "We didn't know if a person would feel comfortable, if he didn't have a relapse, if he wasn't embarrassed," she said. "Beyond that, of course, it was unquestionable. His mother was an integral part of the event, and the Summit Institute that accompanies us throughout the foster care period was helped, and there was a listening ear."

"There were days when the school didn't get it"

The mother, 53, told of the process a person went through. "He has come to us since he was seven, and there have been many ups and downs. There have been very difficult days," she said. "He had difficult childhood experiences and it affected the home, the environment, and the school. We had hard days in school where parents didn't get it. There were statements of 'We don't have to suffer that you decided to be a foster family', but we all dealt with it. These are nonsense. What matters is the child's psyche. "

She said, "Today he is in an amazing place. He was a full partner in all preparations and in Bar Mitzvah himself he sang, participated and was happy. The most fun thing was that when we got to the car, after it was all over, and we collected things to get home, I got a hug from him and he told me ' Thanks. "I had really fun. That's it, I did mine."

"Families fear complexity": The foster children are looking for a home to return to from kindergarten

"The most fun thing was when I got a hug from him and he said thank you." Mother, container (pseudonym)

Bar Mitzvah with foster family (Photo: Image processing)

Of her biological son, who shared his bar mitzvah with his brother to the foster family, she said: "From the moment he came home, we said the bar mitzvah would be shared. Nobody shared it. It was obvious that this was what was going to be. She said, "He'll take the place for him, he's your biological child anyway."

"All the other people's reactions and blessings were gratifying," she added. "Everybody got his place. They were two princes, it wasn't felt like a man was in foster care and not our biological son. Everything was so beautiful it looked like we were an ordinary family with eight children."

Living for good

Michal, who is active on the council in the seat where she lives, said she has always wanted to adopt. "Since I knew myself, I knew at some point I would be a nanny or an adoptee. I had an uncle who did it and I was very excited about it. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a type of giving and helping and donating," she said.

To other parents who consider incorporating foster children into their families, she said, "It's all about awareness, knowing you can give a warm corner to another kid who doesn't have a home and doesn't have a frame. When we decided to go foster care, I went to my middle child, who was seven, and I said to her: 'Girl Another is going to come home, a girl in foster care who lives with you, live with you and she's exactly your age. "So she said to me, 'Until I have a bed and a closet of my own, I have to share it.' So I went to her room, knocked on the bed, asked her From that, I knocked on the closet and asked her what it was. I told her these were material and material things, but her heart was the real thing and he could give and give. "

"We don't live for material things," she added. "But for the sake of doing good, giving, donating and being part of it. Since then, everyone has been pumped for it. When a new child joins the family, it's consensual, we sit down with the whole family and come to a joint decision."

"Heartwarming to see the bond formed." Children waiting for a foster family (illustration photo)

Children looking for foster families (Photo: Untitled)

Her message to people who want to turn their family into a foster family, but fear the repercussions, is that "once you understand what you're doing and your family is doing, it empowers not only you, but the entire home, the kids, and the environment. It's amazing. Even when I had a time "It's very difficult, because my husband made an accident, I got into a very difficult financial situation, everything is resolved. And we overcome everything together."

She said the joint celebration was a landmark in family life, "And now, God willing, we continue our life's work. Nothing stops us. Today I am a member of the Municipal Committee, I am active with our youth, and in the afternoon I work for a living as an Event Manager. Life continues as usual. "If you get these kids to your home the way you get your kids, that's what life will look like."

Although her and Liron already have eight children, Michal revealed that she would like to see the family expand even further: "I pray every day that my daughters get married and have more children." She said that today, in retrospect, her husband had a very hard time with the idea of ​​becoming a foster family, but over the years he fell in love with it. "Some people find it very difficult to get 'foreign people' into the house, but once he understands the rationale, he gets sucked into it more than I do today. He says: 'Come on, girls get married and we can have more children.' Because it is fun and leaves us young."

"Every child who wins a family - gets a chance in life"

Rachel Eiger-Levin, national foster care supervisor, said: "It is heart-warming to see the amazing bond between family and siblings. The decision to become a foster family is not just that of the parents. The children also get a new sibling and their lives change. Every child who wins the family She warmly opens her home and her heart, gets a chance in life, and we invite more families to take part in the lives of children who need stability and warmth. "

Orit Amiel, director of foster care at the Summit Institute, said she admits and is excited about the event from one of the hearts. She said, "This is the essence of foster care. 'Brothers' who are not in blood have embedded a personal and emotional and strong bond for life and are family to everything. I invite readers to come and join the foster family circle and give home and family to children who are waiting."