Trump supporters believe their 5:20 election was stolen
Editor's Note:
Shauna Springer, chief psychologist at the Stella Center, is one of the nation's leading experts on Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD) and trauma.
She is also the author of "Warrior: How to Support Those Who Protect Us."
The opinions expressed in this column belong solely to the author.
(CNN) -
We are faced with an onslaught of acute stressors as we grapple with a global pandemic, deep divisions within society, the devastating impact of wildfires and floods, and maturing election-related distress.
Americans throughout society feel a deep trauma that is familiar to many of our nation's veterans and first responders.
If you were anxiously awaiting sudden and sustained relief from your strongest negative emotions in case the choices went the way you intended, that is a mirage.
Regardless of how events unfold in the months to come, the fact is that most people in our society have a deep fear for the future.
Almost half the country will continue to feel that way after the elections, even with a smooth transition of power.
Some may express this fear through anger, the emotion that many people turn to, and others become depressed.
Our fears will not suddenly disappear by the results of the elections.
Even if we have leadership that seeks to unify rather than divide the country, we have a long uphill road to go.
And that is if we choose to go through it.
These tips can help you avoid pandemic fatigue caused by coronavirus stress
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Plan to run a marathon, metaphorically speaking
This is where we start.
As any runner knows, you must train for the event you will be running.
If your race is a marathon, you should train for a marathon, not a 100-meter race.
Facing the years after the 2020 election will be a marathon, not a sprint.
Our challenge is not about dealing with acute stress.
It's about facing enduring pain and a deep division in American society.
Moving toward healing will require us to manage our own fears and make proactive efforts to understand the experience of people who don't see the world like we do.
Plan a marathon.
Here are some tips on how to do it.
1. Make connections that help you get through the trauma
Our quality of life is strongly determined by the quality of our closest connections.
This is especially true in times of overwhelming challenge.
Our "tribe" includes people with whom we can remove our emotional armor and openly share what we think and feel.
Our tribe will listen to our helpless rage and our fears for the future, for ourselves, our elderly loved ones, and our children.
Our tribe listens to this without judging us and without losing our respect.
In training for the marathon ahead, take some time to gather your support team.
Who is in your tribe?
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If it helps, other words for this could be your core unit, inner circle, personal team, or what the US Marines call a "fire team" - the people who have your back in times of challenge.
Here's how to identify your tribe.
Think of something you once did that really embarrassed you.
If you had to tell that to three other people in your life, who would you tell?
These are most likely the people in your tribe, the people who are emotionally secure, who don't require you to be anything other than who you are, to maintain their love and respect.
Bring these people into your awareness.
Make a list of them.
It's okay if you only have one or two people on your list.
Formalize their support role by telling them that you support them and that you are grateful that they support you.
I mentioned in a previous CNN article the practice of calling the people closest to you on a rotating basis, placing reminders on your phone to communicate.
The anxiety that many of us feel about the elections will turn into a global demoralization for a large part of the population whose leader was not elected.
Dealing with demoralization is a complicated thing: it is a battle that requires us to plan and use all available tools to avoid mental isolation.
This practice of proactively reaching out to your tribe members will help you.
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2. Be nice to others
If you were to talk to people from the opposite party, you would quickly discover a deep belief that people from your political party have not been kind to them.
The anger that fuels the desire for change comes from the feeling that our society has not supported opportunities for that person.
Empathy may be rare these days, but we will have to find it in the days to come no matter how elections play out.
To adopt a posture of kindness, take some time over the next week or two to reflect on anyone in your life who has been kind to you.
Think especially of those who have seen your pain, value you and invest in you without expecting anything in return.
Maybe it was a grandfather, aunt, teacher, high school sports coach, or complete stranger who gave you a surprising gift of kindness with nothing to gain.
These people form your personal historical circle of support.
Draw on your memories to think about how you can do the same for those around you, even if they are angry.
I have personally worked on the integration of this practice as a psychologist for our nation's combatants.
Trauma often manifests itself in anger.
Being able to see beyond the anger that people express - see the story behind the story - and perceive their hurt, fear and pain will help you keep your center in the marathon to come.
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3. Find a meaning or purpose
Without meaning or purpose, our lives are like a ship without an anchor.
Without anchoring ourselves to a meaning, regardless of our affiliation to a political party, we can easily be manipulated by the agendas of others.
In the book "Man's Search for Meaning", Viktor Frankl shows us how meaning is a tool to avoid indulging in terror and despair.
We are programmed to respond to threats with actions, which can make us vulnerable to exploitation by others if we are not firmly rooted in our own purpose.
In a previous CNN article, I suggested that acting is how we can combat a sense of learned helplessness.
We can take out a sheet of paper, draw a line in the middle, and write what we cannot control on one side and what we can control on the other side.
I suggested taking action on those things we can control, anchoring our actions to our deepest meaning and purpose.
People who are guided by meaning and purpose change the world over time.
They don't burn the world just to watch it burn.
Destruction does not create meaning, but is the act of someone who feels truly helpless, who wants to make others suffer as that person is suffering.
Meaning and purpose give us lasting hope, even when we lose battles on the way to meaning.
Take some time today, tomorrow, and in the weeks ahead to think about where your meaning and purpose might lead you.
Whose pain moves you to take positive actions?
If you are deeply concerned about an issue, how can you help those affected by that challenge?
Anchoring yourself to your deepest meaning will help you keep your center in a time of chaos, be it election, pandemic, or the aftermath of a natural disaster.
On CNN's list of 50 Things You Can Do To Cope With Election-Related Stress, There Are Ideas On How To Relax Your Body Through Specific Stretching Or "Forest Baths" Routines, Ways To Engage Your Mind, Inspirational Quotes , links to relaxing music, and hands-on exercises to help you connect with others.
Sometimes dealing with the situation is a "one day at a time" thing, and there are many creative suggestions on this list of 50 ideas.
My focus is on the horizon, and my goal is to help set the conditions for long-term wellness during this time of unprecedented challenge.
There is hope that we can build a positive future, but it begins by acknowledging the depth and nature of pain within our society.
The work before us is a marathon, not a sprint.
Elections 2020 United States