Brien Convery and Douglas McTaggart at Rockefeller Center on April 11, 1998, the day after they met.
Photo courtesy of BKC and DGM
(CNN) --
Douglas McTaggart locked eyes for the first time with Brien Convery in a packed club.
It was Friday, April 10, 1998, and Canadian McTaggart, then 32 years old and living in San Francisco, was visiting New York for a long weekend.
McTaggart and her friend Nadine had spent the day exploring, ending with a nightcap at the Carlyle Hotel's Bemelmans bar before bed.
A few hours later, McTaggart woke up to Nadine's snoring.
He looked at her watch.
The night he was still young.
He was in a city that had a reputation for never sleeping, so why stay in bed?
She dressed, leaving her friend fast asleep, and headed for a still-awake Manhattan.
On the street, she hailed a cab to Splash, a gay bar on West 17th Street in Chelsea.
McTaggart wasn't looking to meet anyone, but he did want to soak up the atmosphere.
The Splash, now closed, was a two-story venue with several bars and dance floors.
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McTaggart ordered a drink at one of the bars, enjoying the music.
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It was then that she noticed a man dressed in a white T-shirt and camo pants standing with his friends on the dance floor.
The man's white T-shirt caught the ultraviolet light from the nightclub, illuminating him in the crowd.
"He stood out on the dance floor," McTaggart tells CNN Travel today.
"I thought, 'Oh, he's quite handsome.'"
The DJ played a couple more songs.
When McTaggart looked up again, the man in the white shirt was alone.
"I went up to him and asked if I could buy him a drink," says McTaggart.
"And that's how we met."
Brien Convery and Douglas McTaggart at Rockefeller Center on April 11, 1998, the day after they met.
Photo courtesy of BKC and DGM
"Breakfast at Tiffany's"
Brien Convery lived in New York, but was never there.
His job as his consultant took him to Savannah, Georgia, Monday through Friday.
Every year of his life, until he was 31, he had spent Easter weekend with his family in the Hudson River Valley.
But that year, exhausted from his weekly business trips, he called his mother and slipped away.
He wanted to spend the long weekend catching up with friends and enjoying the city that he normally spent no more than 48 hours in.
Like McTaggart, Convery says she wasn't looking for a relationship, as her work trips made it nearly impossible.
But Convery remembers seeing McTaggart for the first time, and what it felt like when he approached her from across the bar.
There was "instant interest," says Convery.
The two men spent the rest of the night together, dancing, drinking, and talking.
"We were there until almost closing time, they didn't have to kick us out, we kind of knew we had to go," says McTaggart.
"His friends had left. And that's when I asked him, 'Do you want to share a taxi?'
McTaggart loved Truman Capote's "Breakfast at Tiffany's."
On the taxi ride, he told Convery a story about Capote's supposed inspiration for his famous novel, a story of two men who cross paths during World War II, one of whom was on leave from the Navy.
With nowhere to go as the city's bars were closed, the two went to Tiffany & Co. to look out the windows at sunrise.
"At the time, it fit," says McTaggart, asking his taxi driver to take them toward Fifth Avenue.
Before long, McTaggart and Convery were outside the famous store, having their own "Breakfast at Tiffany's" moment.
"It was an experience in itself," says Convery.
"And from that point on, for the rest of the weekend, it was all an experience."
A hectic weekend
After their stop on Fifth Avenue, Convery and McTaggart drove to Convery's house in Chelsea.
They said goodbye at dawn and agreed to meet that same morning at the Galaxy Diner, a retro space-themed cafe that has since closed.
Back at his hotel, McTaggart told Nadine what had happened in his sleep.
She laughed and persuaded her to join the breakfast.
Meanwhile, Convery called his friend Jesus and asked him to come with him.
Convery and Jesus devised an "exit" plan, just in case.
"This guy seems nice and funny and interesting," Convery remembers him saying.
"But if for some reason he doesn't connect at breakfast, I'm going to say, 'don't forget we have plans at Jim's in Brooklyn,' as an outlet."
A couple of hours later, Convery, McTaggart, Nadine and Jesus were sitting in a blue booth, drinking Diet Coke and eating turkey burgers.
There was no mention of Jim in Brooklyn.
"I felt a lot of confidence in Brien, from the first moment," says McTaggart.
"And I think his friends reinforced that, I could see how he interacted with them. And he felt light and free."
After brunch, the group toured Manhattan.
They climbed the Empire State Building, visited Rockefeller Center and enjoyed walking and talking.
“I actually knew a lot about New York that Brien didn't,” recalls McTaggart, who loves museums and discovering film locations.
He remembers him telling Convery stories about famous buildings in New York.
"Brien, on the other hand, really complemented things because he knew all the places to go dancing, some of the fun places to go to dinner," adds McTaggart.
To spend the afternoon, the group found themselves strolling through Greenwich Village.
McTaggart and Convery noticed a traveling silver ring vendor.
After examining the merchandise, they decided to purchase matching rings.
"It was kind of spontaneous. But it was kind of a memory of the moment and the weekend, and it was a memory of a friendship," says McTaggart.
"And as the relationship grew, the meaning we placed on the rings grew as well."
On Sunday morning, McTaggart booked an Easter brunch at New York's grand Four Seasons hotel and invited Convery.
"When he came to brunch, he was wearing a suit and he seemed very, very nervous," recalls McTaggart.
The outfit, adds McTaggart, was "a total change from the dance club nightwear of the night before."
Brunch seemed more formal than any of their previous activities: white linen tablecloths, ostentatious surroundings.
But McTaggart,
Convery and Nadine had a great time eating eggs and drinking champagne.
"I think, to a certain extent, it was all pretty light, because I think we were both in that mindset of not looking for a relationship, hanging out, going with the flow, being happy and lucky," says Convery.
"But I think there was a clear connection."
Convery returned to his old apartment in Chelsea 10 years later and took this photo.
Courtesy of BKC and DGM
McTaggart and Nadine had tickets to a performance of "Titanic," a Broadway show about the sunken ocean liner, earlier that day.
McTaggart asked Convery if she wanted to join them.
Afterwards, the group had a few beers on the Chelsea docks.
While Nadine and Convery chatted, McTaggart excused himself and went to the bar to use a pay phone.
He called the airline and asked to delay his flight one day, until Tuesday morning.
On Monday morning, Nadine flew home.
McTaggart, Convery and Jesus rented skates and went skating from Chelsea to Brooklyn Battery Park.
Convery and Jesus had fun, McTaggart not so much.
"I had good balance and, I will say, I was good at skating," says Convery.
"Doug, not so much."
McTaggart and Convery spent the rest of the day relaxing in the sun at the park, laughing at McTaggart's attempts to skate.
The next morning, McTaggart was flying back to San Francisco, while Convery headed back to work in Savannah.
The two traveled to JFK airport together.
"We held hands in the back of the cab," says McTaggart.
Their farewell at the airport was "solemn," says Convery.
"I don't remember exactly what we said. But I just remember that it felt like
I'm saying goodbye, but I want to see him again
,'" says McTaggart.
And as soon as he got back to Georgia, Convery called McTaggart.
He was going to Philly the following weekend, he explained, and wanted to know if she would like to join him.
"I booked a flight right away," says McTaggart.
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meeting at the airport
When McTaggart's flight arrived in Philadelphia the following weekend, he waited to be the last person off.
"Because of homophobia," he explains.
"I didn't want to give him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, necessarily, in front of a group of people."
But Convery, waiting alone at the arrivals gate, feared McTaggart hadn't boarded the flight after all: Neither of them had a cell phone, so they couldn't communicate.
Convery could only hope and hope.
Finally, McTaggart came through the door and they embraced.
When they got into Convery's car in the terminal parking lot, he turned on his cassette player.
Convery had gotten hold of the song that was playing at the Splash the night they met: a dance version of the Grease hit "Hopelessly Devoted to You."
"When I got in the car, I instantly recognized her," says McTaggart.
"And that became our song."
Over the next few weekends, McTaggart and Convery took turns visiting each other.
They did not have any conversation in which they confirmed that they had a long-distance relationship;
they say that the certainty they felt did not need to be expressed.
"I never considered dating anyone else while I was dating Brien. And neither did he," says McTaggart.
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Within a few months, Convery approached him about moving to San Francisco.
His work allowed him to be anywhere.
McTaggart wondered: was it too soon?
"When is it right for a person to give you the key to their house, or to move into it?" he remembers thinking.
But he concluded that "there is no right time; what feels right is right."
"It just felt right to me," agrees Convery.
"And it's still like that, we're in our 25th year," says McTaggart.
"A Julia Roberts Moment"
McTaggart and Convery on their wedding day.
Credit: Courtesy of BKC and DGM
McTaggart and Convery moved to Canada, McTaggart's home country, at the turn of the century.
They were married in Toronto on New Year's Eve 2004, shortly after same-sex marriage was legalized in Ontario.
They both wore black tuxedos and gold ties.
There was just one hiccup: On the morning of the wedding, Convery noticed that her tuxedo still had the store's security tag on it.
She ran into town to try to fix it, but the store had closed early for the New Year's celebrations.
Fortunately, a suit store across the street was still open.
"I walked in and said, 'I need someone's help. I'm getting married in literally two hours,'" recalls Convery.
"Everyone in the store went to work. Everyone scrambled to find the key to open the tag on the back of my suit, which I didn't buy there, and finally someone found it in a box. They were able to open it." ".
As Convery ran out of the store, the people who worked there shouted congratulations.
"I said it was my Julia Roberts moment, because it felt a lot like something that could have happened to her in a movie," says Convery, laughing.
For their wedding rings, Convery and McTaggart used the silver rings they had bought that first weekend in New York.
"We've been wearing them ever since and so it made a lot of sense to wear them as our wedding bands many years later," says McTaggart.
a life well lived
Convery and McTaggart have been together for 24 years.
Courtesy of BKC and DGM
Convery and McTaggart enjoy occasional trips to New York and San Francisco to retrace their old steps.
On a return trip, photos were taken outside the apartment Convery lived in when they met.
It's fun, they say, to think back to that time in their lives and the coincidences that led to their meeting.
"There are so many little things that brought us together," McTaggart says, joking that Nadine's snoring was "the turning point."
They celebrate their anniversary on April 10, but they always reflect on the beginnings of their relationship when Easter arrives.
"For us, I think it's special, because of spring, new beginnings," says Convery.
The couple tries to live in the moment and make each day count.
Courtesy of BKC and DGM
However, Convery and McTaggart also say they try not to dwell on the past or worry about the future.
Instead, they focus on making the most of the present.
"We enjoy every day. Sometimes you're happy about the little things. Sometimes you're happy about the big things, but happiness is with us," says McTaggart.
"There's a respect in our relationship, an understanding, a curiosity," says Convery.
"She's very insightful and sensitive, and she also challenges me in ways that have helped me become a better person."
For McTaggart, the goal is to live a life together that means "when life comes to an end, there is no question that it was the best life possible for both of us."
"I think at this point in life I have a good understanding of what love is," he says.
"I think I've always loved Brien and always, always will love Brien. And I think part of love is seeing how precious life is, and really how I can help Brien live the best, most beautiful life possible."
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