When Mirav Viktorovich enters the building of the Ort Technicum school in Givatayim, to start another year of studies as a teacher of Arabic, Hebrew and remedial teaching, she will be flooded, as always, with memories of her brother, the late Amit Luzon, who walked in the same building as a school student, until a few years before his death in an accident ways during his service in 2003, and he is only 20 years old.
Merav is one of many teachers and students who belong to the bereaved family.
"Going back to school is a complex event for teachers and students who lost a family member," says Eli Ben Shem, chairman of the Yad Labanim organization and the father of the helicopter disaster survivor Kobi Ben Shem
.
"For teachers who have experienced bereavement, the commemoration of the fallen brother or son is done through the educational activity. They work to commemorate the fallen brother or son as part of the Memorial Day events, but it does not end there. Not infrequently, students who have experienced bereavement manage to open up to a teacher who has also experienced loss".
Merav testifies that the fact that her brother spent the last years of his life in the school where she teaches and is commemorated there today, makes the school much more than a workplace for her.
"I feel like I'm coming home and that the students are my family. Over the years, I've met teachers who taught my brother and told me about his experiences. I learned a lot about him that I didn't know, even though we were very close. He was ten years younger than me, but we spent a lot of time together. I even took him for dates, so that he would tell me if the guy is right for me, and when I was a baby he would take her for a walk at night, to help her fall asleep."
A video in memory of the late Amit Luzon // Photo: Courtesy of the family
She leverages her experience as a bereaved nurse as an educator and priest.
"From the moment I started working at the school, 15 years ago, I made it my goal to dedicate Memorial Day to him, to commemorate him and tell his story. I have a video about him with a song that I play, and the children are captivated. Then they hug me, some tell me following It's about things that happened to them in the family, sometimes they share me in bereavement.
I also accompanied students whose brothers fell.
I also tell my students about the late Yeftah Grady and the late Shahar Strug, who were both my students, and later I met their sisters.
I taught Yeftah Grady's sister and we could talk both as bereaved sisters and as teacher and student."
Merav feels that "through the stories about my brother, I immortalize him and manage to convey important messages about the values of friendship, family, personal security, human love and caring".
Preparations for Remembrance Day, the military cemetery in Kiryat Shaul \ Photo: Koko,
Yaffe Arzi is a special education teacher at the "Shades" school in Modi'in, where students with complex learning disabilities study.
Her brother, the late Moshe Shahar (Sabah), was killed in 1976 during his military service, when she was only 11.5 years old. And this, a year and a half after her father also died.
"As an educator, the fact that I belong to the bereaved family is reflected every year, especially on Memorial Day for the fallen of the IDF.
I share openly, from my perspective as a bereaved nurse, about the meaning of this day for me.
From the very beginning I saw that the fact that I came from a place of bereavement, pain and loss in childhood, allows the children to see me as someone who is very close to them and able to understand their difficulties.
Following this, there were many cases where students shared with me various difficulties they were going through, not only bereavement - also the absence of a parent in their lives as a result of divorce.
The fact that I shared with them, according to their age and ability to understand, significant events in my life and ways that helped me cope - allows them to share and open up.
I realized that the story of my life breaks down barriers and helps them open up."
Along with the hug from the students, Merav says that she doesn't always feel the hug from Israeli society.
"Bereavement is a sacred cow in Israeli society, but in practice, in real time, it is not always reflected. People are not always sensitive and sometimes we feel alone."
"This is a historic milestone in the state's relationship with families."
Eli Ben Shem on the law of bereaved brothers, photo: Yehuda Ben Yathach
At least in the matter of recognition by the state there is progress: last summer, on the eve of the dissolution of the Knesset, the Bereaved Siblings Law was approved, which regulates, for the first time in the state's place, the rights of bereaved siblings.
Following the passing of the law, the brothers will be able to directly receive the supports and benefits they deserve, alongside expanding the age of assistance for academic studies and eligibility for alternative emotional treatments alongside psychological ones, such as art therapy, occupational therapy and more.
The law was passed after a struggle led by Yad Labanim, the exclusive representative organization of the bereaved parents and siblings, which works to commemorate the martyrs of the Israeli system and leave a legacy and care for the bereaved families.
The organization provides assistance, guidance and advice to families from all sectors, and creates a supportive community at every stage of their lives.
The law was submitted by MK Michal Shir with the support of Defense Minister Benny Gantz.
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