Wendy syndrome is when women tirelessly take care of their partner. Why are women particularly affected and what are the ways out?
Kassel – Housework, childcare or caring for relatives: these tasks are more often taken on by women than by men.
For example, women "spend an average of 52.4 percent more time per day on unpaidcare workthan men," said the Federal Ministry for Family Affairs, Senior Citizens, Women and Youth. This difference between the sexes is known as the "gender care gap".
Wendy syndrome: Strong urge to help others – women are particularly often affected
But why do women sacrifice themselves so much instead of involving their partner in everyday tasks? For some, it is due to the so-called Wendy syndrome.
Sufferers of this syndrome feel a strong urge to help others. According to emotion.de, which describes itself as a magazine for self-determined women, women are particularly affected.
Origin for the name of Wendy syndrome
By the way, the name of Wendy syndrome goes back to the character Wendy alongside Peter Pan in the live-action adaptation of Disney's animated film Peter Pan. The boy Peter Pan, who does not want to grow up, receives help from Wendy when they meet the evil pirate captain Captain Hook. By the way: Men who do not want to grow up are said to have Peter Pan syndrome.
The women take responsibility for all areas of their life together, sometimes sacrificing themselves completely for the relationship. This is dangerous in the long run!
Affected women sometimes suffer from extreme stress, which can also lead to burnout. Isolation and neglect of one's own needs are also a possible consequence of Wendy syndrome.
Thekla Rotermund-Capar, Equal Opportunities Officer of the Werra-Meißner district, demands with regard to women's care work: "Their value must be recognized".
Those who suffer from Wendy syndrome feel a strong urge to help other people. Women are often affected. They are under enormous pressure, which can also end in burnout. © Sergei Anischenko/Imago
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Anyone who realizes that they suffer from Wendy syndrome has several options for getting out of the situation.
- Take time off: The partner must understand that not only one person in the relationship can take on all tasks. You should say this unequivocally to your counterpart. Open communication is important.
- In an equal relationship, both partners take care of each other. However, everyone is responsible for their own lives. If your partner doesn't see this, you may have to question the relationship – for your own protection.
- If you can't get anywhere yourself, you shouldn't be afraid to see a therapist. Together, causes for the behavior as well as ways out of the situation can be found in therapy.
- Pursue your own hobbies: Those affected should ask themselves what they like to do – and then do it.
Certain character traits favor Wendy syndrome
But why are women particularly affected? This partly has a patriarchal background, reports emotion.de. In the past, care work has always been increasingly carried out by women.
But certain character traits could also promote Wendy syndrome. According to emotion.de, these include low self-esteem and an extreme need for harmony.
The gender pay gap, i.e. the pay gap between men and women, also remains a problem. In the district of Kassel, the wage gap between the sexes is particularly large.
