Am I addicted to shopping? I'm not sure I fit the professional definition of addiction, but I'm definitely buying a lot more than I need or plan. The amount of shoes, bags, books, and gadgets I have puts an emotional and physical strain on me. On the other hand, the shopping experience provides me with excitement and pleasure.
The social attitude towards an easy shopping addiction, which does not reach economic ruin, is more forgiving than the attitude towards other addictions. Capitalist society encourages us to buy more and more as a (wrong) way to experience happiness, satisfaction and self-love.
Statistics show that half of the population is guilty of overly impulsive shopping, but social concern is not the only motivation for writing this column. The personal exposure in the pages of the newspaper helps me cope with shame and guilt.
That's how I started, for example, the media discourse on body image. When I decided to share the difficulty caused by the comments I received about my body size, which are larger than those of other TV hosts. When I dared to share that it hurt me, hundreds of messages poured in from women and girls telling me about the comments they received. I even invented a name for this exposure: exposure therapy.
Ventilate the closet
It's not that I've hidden my shopping habits until now, I admit in interviews and on the show and on the networks that I buy a lot, but always with a touch of humor that lightens, allows a little escape.
So now, no kidding, I'm writing not from the confident persona you know from the TV screen, which is also part of me, but from a less confident part of me, where I'm a 46-year-old woman who wants to learn to regulate the urge to buy. I decided to ventilate my dirty laundry, or in this case, the overflowing closet and drawers.
It's amusing to think that after years of accompanying women and standing on stages in front of audiences and television cameras, now that I'm writing these words, my heart is pounding with apprehension, because shopping addiction feels disrespectful, even stupid.
Some of you may think that exposing this weakness disqualifies you from being an inspiration or teaching. Your right. I still feel worthy, because throughout my career I make sure to share difficulties and complexities, whether in my relationship or in my self-concept.
I dislike "mentors" and "priests" who just smile and talk about their "perfect" lives, how everything comes easily to them. They simply hide the difficulties from others, and sometimes from themselves as well. This column was also written to implement what I convey to others, that it's okay not to be okay.
The refuge of the righteous
Every addict has justifications. I, for one, comfort myself by the fact that I know how to find the best deals, that I've never bought brands, that I'm not a high-end boutique woman, I'm the end-of-season type in Mango and Octopus, of express-leaf nonsense, of used bookstores, and the addition of recent years: purchasing a subscription to mobile apps.
In the end, the amount of things that accumulate in my house would cause Marie Kondo distress, and in order to avoid the accumulation, I give away a lot of the things I bought, which takes up precious time of sorting and tidying.
Another self-justification is that I don't damage my financial balance, I don't get dragged into debt by shopping. Still, the sum of unnecessary purchases each month can reach as much as NIS 1,000 or NIS 2,000, a considerable sum.
I am not an expert on addiction, but I have recently read studies and books on the subject, with an emphasis on the 12-step method to cure addictions. Along with my experience in treating overeating and regulating impulses, I created a personal plan for myself and to anchor that commitment, I decided to document my progress on my Instagram because maybe my process will help others as well. Starting Sunday, I hope to share my daily mission every day — and this column is another brick that underpins that commitment.
Learning to differentiate
Let me be clear, and I apologize to the minimalists and ecologists, I will not stop enjoying shopping, but reduce, plan and choose the shopping - instead of it being done impulsively for a moment.
I also buy to compensate young Paula, who could not afford it. I've been working since I was 14, and with the first money I saved, I bought a Walkman. I'll never forget the excitement of leaving the store. I put on my headphones and felt the happiest in the world.
This level of excitement cannot be restored. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a scientific reason for unplanned purchases, but it also needs to be taken responsibly. The unbearable ease of online shopping at the touch of a button has exacerbated the problem, but all these external circumstances are challenges that can be overcome.
Shopping can be joyful, but it can also cause stress, guilt, and anxiety. Messages that tempt us to buy attack from billboards and advertisements, trying to convince us that if we buy another object, we will be happier.
You know what, I've tried this promise, there are purchases that make me happy, but many of them are unnecessary - and I even know it at the very moment of purchase, when I reach for my phone, even before the confirmation sound sounds. I want to learn to differentiate between them.
Thank you for listening, and if any reader decided to join me to change this habit, I won.
Test yourself - are you a shopaholic?
Signs to help you examine whether the shopping urge is compulsive or beyond learning. Circle the sentences that suit your feelings:
1. You felt a strong urge to shop, even if you don't need anything specific.
2. Go on a shopping spree to deal with stress, anxiety, depression or other negative emotions.
3. Financial problems as a result of shopping habits. Need for money to "extinguish" debts created due to shopping.
4. Shame to share shopping habits, hiding purchases.
5. Lack of control over the urge to buy, despite the desire to stop.
6. Neglect of other areas of life because of the preoccupation with shopping.
7. Buying unnecessary items that are still closed in a box.
8. The amount of shopping it takes to feel fulfilled is growing more and more.
9. Withdrawal symptoms of nervousness or discomfort while trying to cut back on shopping.
10. Shopping habits that cause conflicts in relationships.
• If you circle 1 to 3 of the sentences, you probably have a slight tendency to overbuy.
If you circle 4 to 6 of the sentences, you are moderately prone to compulsive shopping behavior.
• If you circle 7 to 10 of the sentences, there is a high probability of compulsive shopping behavior.
* This survey is a general estimate only and does not replace any type of diagnosis. If necessary, it is important to seek professional help
Wrong? We'll fix it! If you find a mistake in the article, please share with us