"We know well what patriarchy does to women, what we are not clear about is what it did to men"

Although this Thursday's meeting at FIL Guadalajara had in the name: How to build new masculinities?, for the writers Andrés Neuman, Enzo Maqueira and Pablo Simonetti the word "new" tarnishes the meaning of what, from their work and experience, seeks to transform the concept of what it means to be a man. A "new masculinity" would mean, in his opinion, that it is a kind of path that starts from scratch, a renewal of something that dies forever and begins to be something different. "I'm more interested in analyzing the above. Where we come from and what our bases are, before we rush to say: well, that's it, everything is new, we are others, nothing happened. The interesting thing would be to know what has happened so far," Neuman said.

None of these three authors has been chosen by chance. All of them have written literature for many years that constructs different dimensions of male characters, in different contexts and with consciences that question the pre-established mandate they received from a very young age about what it meant to become a man – to be strong, to show little feeling, not to cry, to keep emotional distance even with those you love, and so on. In addition to some stories already published, the novels of Alumbramiento (2016), or Umbilical (2023), by the Argentinian Andrés Neuman (46 years old), explore that space in which a man stands in front of the experience of "lighting" life, putting his body and feelings, where it is not very clear if the man is literally giving life or if he accompanies someone in the process; and fatherhood seen from the fascination and total ignorance of care, "the amazement at the baby".

Andrés Neuman, on November 29 in Guadalajara.Nayeli Cruz

Junior, the protagonist of the novel Sexual Hygiene of the Bachelor (Tusquets, 2023) by the Argentinian Enzo Maqueira (46 years old), recounts in the first pages of the book the way in which he experiences his first day at school: "... Everyone laughed. Now what?, it turns out that she had run like a girl. The worst was when I stumbled. Mr. Ganizzo stunned me with the whistle: Don't be a faggot! And again the laughter came over me..." Maqueira remembers the revealing image of that boy wearing the blue tie of his uniform: "What about these anecdotes that we all had for you? The first thing they do to Junior at the boys' school and the priests' school is to put a tie on him that chokes him. From there it starts. He is no longer a human being, he is no longer a free spirit. From there they tell him: you are a man, you have to like many women, you have to exercise violence, you have to solve issues with violence, if they hit you have to give it back, you can't cry, not being able to cry means not being able to show your emotions," he says.

The room is full of readers of the three authors, but also curious people and a large group of school students who have come from various parts of the State of Jalisco. A teenager rushes to take a seat in the front row of the auditorium. He pulls out a notebook and starts jotting down, but it's not until Chilean Pablo Simonetti starts talking that he picks up his cell phone and starts broadcasting live for his social networks. Simonetti, 61, belongs to a different generation than the Argentines, and he clarifies it before starting: "I'm older than these two gentlemen, in that sense I had a more marked machismo, even than the one they had. And I also have the difference in the fact that I'm gay, so I had to face the most archaic machismo in a very difficult time," he says.

Pablo Simonetti talks about the two novels in which he portrays, through the experience of his characters, what the mandates of being a man have imposed on him. Natural Disasters (Alfaguara, 2017) is about Marco, a young boy, who travels to the south of Chile with his father and along the way also shows a family and how that family is read and perceived as homosexual. "This gay son has to face very wounded, very preconceived, and pre-programmed masculinities, so the men in the family, his father, his brothers, are always in constant conflict with the idea that he has a gay son or brother, and that makes them react with violence and discrimination. That was the first reaction I received, from my family," he says. In All the Men I Wasn't (Alfaguara, 2021) an even more biographical one, where through each friend – even each stereotype – he tells his or her own story: his or her fears, the complexity of making his loved ones understand, what he really wanted for his life; the story of the woman he was about to marry, at a very young age, etc.

Pablo Simonetti in Mexico City, in 2015.Berenice Bautista (AP)

Simonetti, like his two colleagues, rejects the idea that all these reflections that he and many other men in different countries are currently making, moved by the impulse of feminism, are integrated into a "new" masculinity: "We are talking about masculinities, and not about masculinity, I think that is the key, and we could say that all the plurals of masculinity, When you say masculinities, they're included, which is called new, but really 'new' is just a trade term," he says. Maqueira adds: "I'm not so sure that I want to go towards a new masculinity, I prefer to go towards no masculinity at all."

Neuman and Simonetti have agreed that the issue of care, for example, is a field in which the role of man as a mandate is more evident, that is, in situations of extreme need, they explain, men know what to do, but they hardly stay and give their bodies to shelter and take care of themselves and others. Hence, care is almost entirely female. The reflection comes from personal experiences. Both authors were present at critical moments in their parents' health and actively participated in the care. The only people who were close at the same time were always other women.

The authors coincide in the points of view, which they have arrived at from different ways of narrating experiences that have also challenged them in different ways. They say that everything they have learned undoubtedly comes from feminism, from the teaching that women have shared with them through centuries of oppression and invisibility. They accept reality and emphasize that what is really necessary, in addition to reflecting on these issues, is collectivization. "Talking about all this feeling with other men." "We all know very well everything that patriarchy does to them and to women. What we're not so clear about, starting with men, is what patriarchy did to us. What are the consequences of them not being able to cry?" says Enzo Maqueira.

Writer Brenda Navarro listened attentively and took notes. It has been difficult to interrupt ideas that include not only vital examples, but allusions to novels that were constructed from the most basic reflections of being a man. However, he questions them: "Exactly what are we going to collectivize when we talk about new masculinities? If it's women who are dying, 10 a day in this country. When you're taking care of yourself, are you also the ones who are washing the bathrooms or cooking or washing the dishes? What do we do with all these self-criticisms from language and books when we have to put it into practice? From then on, Neuman, Maqueira and Simonetti talk about their privileges, how hard it is to collectivize what they discover about themselves, they feel responsibility, but also the need for them not to be the only men concerned about these issues. The table ends. He hasn't had time to listen to the public.

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