The Iron Swords War unfortunately counts many casualties so far. Quite a few of those fallen belong to the population of those who leave the question. Some of them were former ultra-Orthodox who were massacred at the nature party, others fell on their guard as soldiers in the Israel Defense Forces. Against this background, many conflicts arise with their biological families after death, especially over the issue of burial and funeral.
The person who in quite a few cases mediates the information for the families and assists in the conduct is Aharon Granot, who defines himself as "the father of 86 regular soldiers and another 250 graduates from ultra-Orthodox society." "In many cases, I am informed that a soldier from the departing community fell before the family," he says. "With this gospel of Job, I approach the family because I know how to approach them, and in many cases I am the one in contact with them."
Aharon Granot, photo: courtesy of the subject
"We now had a sad case of an estranged soldier. His ultra-Orthodox family was not in touch with him so much during his lifetime. He had a family accompanied by Rosh Tzurim. After his fall in battle, the Modi'in Illit activists did not agree to his fellow soldiers coming to the funeral! They sought to present as if he had died while studying the Torah.
They manage the parents and they have no choice but to surrender – but we didn't allow that to happen. We called on everyone who knew him to come to the funeral. There was no doubt that he would have wanted a state military funeral. Soldiers came and there were many Israeli flags. The coffin was not draped in a flag, but he received the honor," Granot says.
"Following this sad incident, an outgoing soldier I am accompanying called me and told me, in light of what happened to our friend and his ultra-Orthodox family, I want to write something difficult. My family estranged me for two and a half years. Now I'm in the middle of a military operation and I'm aware that I might fall. There is no reason for my estranged family to take charge of my funeral and body. He asked me, 'You will manage the funeral arrangements and promise me that there will be a military funeral.'
He wrote: "Dear Aaron. I turn to you after a storm that arose following the untimely passing of my stepbrother (here comes the name of the fallen IDF from Black Sabbath), asking you and for the information, if, God forbid, I will be able to die for Kiddush Hashem during my military service, make sure that I receive the burial that I deserve, state and military.
I declare that when I enlisted I knew where I was enlisting and what the risks involved, and I am proud to serve in the service of the security forces and to physically and mentally protect my Hadar brothers in the State of Israel,
and I also ask that you organize funeral arrangements or someone on your behalf because the family that estranged me during my recruitment will not be worthy of accepting me after my death or taking responsibility for what will be done with my body.
Also, I signed an Adi card regarding organ donation after death, I would gladly be happy if you would take care of that as well."
Granot further talks about his critical role vis-à-vis veterans serving in the IDF during these times. "I am now accompanying an officer in combat. His haredi parents call me. They tell me, 'He hasn't answered us for five days. We're worried.' I called him to find out what was going on and he said: "They haven't answered me for two and a half years. Why should I answer them now?"
"It's important for me to note," Granot adds, "that there are ultra-Orthodox families who are in contact with the boys who enlisted. A fallen soldier named Binyamin Lev was in contact with his parents and they were in touch with me. Although it was not a military funeral, it was led by a military rabbi and no one thought he had fallen while studying Torah in a yeshiva. He was also eulogized by a representative of the Paratroopers Brigade. We can find a way to sensitively honor both the living and those who have fallen as they would like to be truly remembered and honored as they chose and believed."
Wrong? We'll fix it! If you find a mistake in the article, please share with us