She sits across from me, on the edge of the edge of the couch, her hands wiping away the tears.
Her pain screams everywhere.
"Isn't the hard life I went through enough - the violence, the abuse, the humiliation? For more than ten years he has been making me miserable, and I beg for a divorce, and God continues to punish me. I must have done something so terrible that I deserve this suffering."
I look at her and want to shout - it's not your fault!
There is no punishment here, it is not a fate, it is something in the system that is broken.
Wants - and is silent.
Gathers all her pain and helps her return to her powers, because there is still life, children, work, bills to pay, faith.
Three years have passed since I joined Yad LaIsha, an organization that provides legal and psychological assistance to women who are denied a divorce and agunot.
As part of my role as a social worker for the northern region, I accompany women who are in a daily struggle for freedom.
Despite quite a bit of time, it amazes me time and time again that in 2022 the State of Israel, which claims to be Western and reformed, a state that for three decades boasts the Basic Law of Human Dignity and Liberty, chooses to exclude women by denying them a basic right to fight for freedom.
In this reality, a woman who wants a divorce, for one reason or another - from incompatibility and attraction, or a feeling that she is not fulfilling herself in a relationship, to the fact that her marriage is violently saturated on every issue - finds herself in control and terrorism, dependent on her husband's consent.
In this reality, in most cases, a husband who in his married life has been jealous, violent and abusive, will not rush to volunteer the divorce, and will continue in the mask of violence and torment using cynical and abusive power given to him by law and halakhah.
Thus, many women find themselves imprisoned in an abusive relationship, and dependent on the man who refuses on the way to their freedom.
Cases are piling up, more and more captive women continue to come to our door, and we have no choice but to accompany them one by one towards freedom, with the goal of not being left alone at any stage in the process.
To my delight, if in the past a woman would come to court and find herself surrounded by men - today the situation is completely different, and she arrives accompanied by a lawyer and a social worker, and even before the legal proceedings began she feels stronger and more secure.
As a woman and social worker, I believe in the strength of a community, and in this case - a multidisciplinary female team that is a source of strength and hope, along with connections to community support sources - welfare departments, schools, family violence prevention stations, the Ministry of Housing and more.
I admit that before I got to Yad LaIsha, like most people, I did not really know what a divorce refusal was.
But since I accompany those brave women, it is clear to me that this is not a private problem, but a social one, and that our role as a society is far beyond providing spot assistance.
Especially in these days, when we celebrate Independence Day, we have a responsibility to fight for policy change and raise awareness of the problem, so that together we can bring an end to the journey of so many women from captivity to freedom.
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