Do they keep morale up? Are they eating enough? Don't we miss them too much? For some families of Ehpad residents, who have not seen their loved ones for more than a month and a half, concerns about their health could not be completely overcome by telephone calls or videoconference, facilitated by caregivers. So the announcement on Sunday by the Minister of Health Olivier Véran to authorize a resumption of "supervised" visits, reassured more than one.
So much, says Annabelle Vêques, director of the National Federation of associations of directors of establishments and Services for the Elderly (FNADEPA), that calls have been increasing since Sunday afternoon in many residences, in order to schedule as much as possible Quick meetings with retirees. An even more optimistic family has moved completely, tells us another establishment manager. But the sanitary measures not yet ready, she had to resign herself to turn back.
Because, if the authorization took effect on Monday, it will be necessary to arrange these meetings, already authorized in several residences, while the Ehpad are hit hard by the epidemic of Covid-19. "It can take a few hours, even a few days, in order to try to materialize distances, to choose meeting places, to organize meetings ...", details Annabelle Vêques.
"The less I see her, the more she risks not recognizing me"
Aware of these necessary adaptations, Rémi Zinck, a 53-year-old teacher, gave himself a few days before contacting his mother's nursing home in Lyon. "But as soon as I have an answer, I will go see it immediately," he reports. The father waits impatiently for this moment: the last time he was able to approach his mother, a 93-year-old woman suffering from Alzheimer's disease, but "in good physical health", it was the March 8, a few minutes before the confinement of the residence. “When we returned from our walk, we encountered families who were prevented from seeing their loved ones. The decision had been made in the meantime, ”explains the 50-something man, who was able to speak a few times on the phone, and once in videoconference with the nonagenarian. An experience far from replacing the benefits of a face-to-face exchange. "With her illness, the less I see her, the more she risks not recognizing me afterwards," slips Rémy Zinck.
He has already planned: “The nursing home has a park, I imagine we could put ourselves face to face on benches, with masks. The 50-year-old wants to remain cautious, he knows that the risk of contamination remains. “My daughter worked in an nursing home where residents were contaminated. I can be a healthy carrier. »And this, even if he is aware that wearing a mask may complicate the exchange. "Elderly people often hear poorly and read a lot about facial expressions," says Rémi Zinck. Another fear is that her mother, "who forgets what has been explained to her", may not be able to respect these measures. While waiting for this meeting, her son recognizes it, “it's harder for me than for her. I would like to be able to fully support him in his end of life and I have the impression that I am breaching this obligation at the moment. "
Complex sanitary measures to make residents understand
When Marie-Andrée, 62, learned that she could no longer visit her 90-year-old mother, who lives in a nursing home in the capital, it was "a shock". Inevitably, she who nevertheless manages to call her twice a week, says that she is "delighted" by the resumption of the visits. Even if, like Rémy Zinck, she does not want to put pressure on the caregivers. "I let one day go by because I think the Ehpad should be bombarded with calls today and I will contact them tomorrow. This Parisian is well aware that these supervised meetings will be far removed from the visits she had made several times a week to her mother until then. First, the health imperative remains. In this residence, ten residents have, according to her, died since the beginning of the epidemic.
"I hope she will understand, because we will arrive in costume, with blouses, masks and we will stand a meter away from her," she wonders about her mother, who presents signs of Alzheimer's disease, But she's used to it now, she's constantly in touch with caregivers. Marie-Andrée, who imagines that these meetings could take place in the garden of the residence, says that she has full confidence in the team to "organize all of this in a secure place".
Do not "risk reporting the coronavirus"
The important thing, she stresses, is to bring a presence to her mother. “The staff told us that they saw a difference in her after our calls, they realize that she is missing, notes the sixty-something. So if we could now see her just twice a week, that would be great. "
"I just hope that I would not have a big shock, for example if she has lost weight or gained weight," anticipates Violaine, 62, whose 89-year-old mother is also in a nursing home in Paris. . She has not seen it since March 11, where already, restrictions were implemented. If she remembers this date, not sure it is the same for her mother. "As my mother has lost track of time a bit, I'm not even sure she realizes if the last meeting was a long time ago or not," says Violaine.
Newsletter - The essentials of the news
Every morning, the news seen by Le ParisienI'm registering
Your email address is collected by Le Parisien to allow you to receive our news and commercial offers. Find out more
Her mother, with whom she is in daily contact, "understands the reason for the absence of visits," she says. The octogenarian will certainly also understand the concerns of his daughter, who, faced with the risk of contamination, wants to exercise extreme caution. "I obviously want to go back to see her, but at the same time we have to think about it with the retirement home so that everything can be done without risking bringing back the coronavirus. " During the first physical encounter, the main concern may well turn out to be primarily capillary. "My mother cares a lot about her hair, the main problem is that she may be embarrassed not to be well-groomed because there is no longer a hairdresser," smiles her daughter.
VIDEO. Olivier Véran announces that a "visitation right" will be granted in the Ehpad on Monday