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Looking into the morning sun can also help deal with depression
Photo: Justin Paget / Getty Images
There is good news and bad news.
First the bad ones.
Quite a few people are having a tough time right now.
Some will have to spend Christmas alone for the first time, some are worried about sick relatives or have no more money, some are just empty and worn down by this miserable year of the plague.
Now the good.
Those who have little energy and hope at the end of the year can learn from those who know this condition very well - from chronically depressed people.
That might not sound so obvious at first.
Are they not doing particularly badly right now?
Learn from people who don't get out of bed in the morning and then don't have the strength to shower?
Just like that.
Because many people who have years or decades of experience in dealing with depression - I am one of them - have a fairly large repertoire of skills that you can use when you have the feeling that nothing really works anymore.
Margarete Stokowski, arrow to the right
Photo:
Rosanna Graf
Born in 1986, was born in Poland and grew up in Berlin.
She studied philosophy and social sciences and has been working as a freelance writer since 2009.
Her feminist bestseller "Unterrum frei" was published in 2016 by Rowohlt Verlag.
In 2018, "The Last Days of Patriarchy" followed, a collection of columns from SPIEGEL ONLINE and "taz".
This is not supposed to play down depression.
Depression is a disease that should be treated professionally.
A disease that can be fatal and is often not taken seriously.
And they are a disease for which those affected are often ashamed, so that they learn to somehow still - I hate this word - "function" in their everyday lives without others noticing what is going on.
But no matter whether you deal with your own illness openly or in hiding: Many people who have chronic depression develop little tricks and traditions over time that help them through these times.
The nonsense with the chocolate
To put it straight away, these are definitely not the tips you often hear from people who have no idea: eat a little chocolate (most do anyway), go on vacation (doesn't work), that Turn off your cell phone (to be even more lonely?), Pull yourself together (we all do), go jogging (it's cold).
There are quite a few people who believe that depression will go away with it - even the chocolate is not made up.
In the “Germany Depression Barometer 2019”, 18 percent of those surveyed found that “Eating chocolate or something sweet” would help against depression, and almost a third found that “weakness of character” was a cause of depression.
In short, there is a lot of nonsense going on about depression.
It is not the case that there are currently few tips in the media on how you can take care of your own well-being in lockdown - whether "light" or "hard": mindfulness, resilience, self-care.
However, you often read things that somehow you have all heard before: a little walk every day, starting a new hobby, yoga with YouTube, doing handicrafts, baking bread.
You can do anything.
But if you are on the verge of desperation and have hardly any strength left, a bread recipe is of little use.
And you can get fed up with going for a walk, so slowly.
So here are a few quick tips from the world of the depressed:
Step 1.
Recognize that there is a problem: that you can actually no longer do anything and only pretend to do so. This can be done very classically with a nervous breakdown - or before it happens.
Pretending to yourself that you can still get along well can take a lot of energy.
If you are really getting along well, stop reading here.
If not, read on.
Step 2.
Change the standards: turn everything down a few levels.
In times of crisis, different standards apply than usual. Nobody may tell you that, but it is.
It is like this with depression: A day on which you manage to get up, take a shower, eat and drink several times a day and then also do some work is a day on which you have achieved a lot.
You can take on this spirit even if you don't have a depression, but a pandemic: Everyone who comes through this time halfway intact has survived quite a bit - some under tougher conditions than others, of course.
Many people automatically adjust their standards without thinking too much by not having their hair cut for a long time or by paying less attention to their diet ideals.
But it is easier to consciously let the standards go, for example: Am I missing something if I don't have the perfectly cleaned and decorated apartment for Christmas as usual or if I order food more often instead of cooking myself?
Probably not.
Step 3.
Do good things.
In tough times, good things don't necessarily happen by themselves.
With depression, you often have to do even the smallest basics correctly, such as drinking water or taking out the trash.
If, on top of that, you manage to do something that is good for you in some way, then it's very good.
That can be such a goal: To experience one good thing during the day.
It almost doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's self chosen and not an obligation.
Examples: Standing at the window for ten minutes because the sun is shining.
Or rises (even if you howl, at least with the sun).
Everything is of equal value as long as it does not harm anyone.
Sport is just as good as Sudoku, writing letters as good as making a phone call, tidying up something as good as sleeping, drinking cocoa with marshmallows, reading, computer games, long showers, donating to a meaningful organization, repairing something, hanging up a picture.
Important: it is not a competition.
You don't have to do anything productive.
You can also hang a picture or smash an ugly vase.
Step 4.
Don't blame yourself. That is the most important point.
You can invest a lot of energy to get yourself ready for things that you can't do otherwise at the moment.
If you have decided on online shopping under point 3 and then think afterwards: What should I do with this new waffle iron, I'll never do it anyway ... Stop.
It's bought.
You can still give it away.
When the energy is limited it shouldn't be used to make it harder on yourself.
Step 5.
Share if you can.
Sometimes sharing helps, even if you think beforehand that others will not be able to help you.
You don't have to help directly.
A "Is it so shitty with you too?" Conversation can also be good.
Important: Do not turn to the "pull yourself together, others are even worse" group, because you probably have enough of that within yourself.
Step 6.
If it gets better, don't start everything again right away.
It's like this with depression: Just because you've laughed at something again doesn't necessarily mean you are out of it.
A day that went well does not mean that everything has to go back to the old standards from now on.
The standards remain regulated down until you have the feeling that you have solid ground under your feet again and, so to speak, not only there, but also the few meters around it.
That will happen, pretty sure.
At the moment, the unpleasant news is very close to one another.
Lockdown until January, maybe longer, vaccination is still going on and will not be quick, everything will remain exhausting.
If you've had a prolonged depression, you know the feeling that nothing has changed for the better.
If you've had this kind of depression before, you have one advantage: you know that you will most likely get out of it, and then it will be really good again.
Icon: The mirror