He immediately corrects: “I am not a hypochondriac but a microphobe.
The word is released in a giggle.
Not found in the dictionary, it nevertheless perfectly defines Abder, in his thirties, originally from Boulogne and crazy about hygiene.
At a time when the epidemic has made us chronically suspicious, fearing a postilion like a doorknob, cleanliness obsessives are watching this great conversion to hygiene one step ahead.
Were these maniac-hypochondriacs ultimately precursors?
Abder is jubilant.
“I was ready!
My microphobia allowed me to approach the Covid without worry.
As if I had trained all my life for this epidemic.
"
When the crisis begins in March 2020, that everyone runs the pharmacies, in shortage of hydroalcoholic gel, this manager of social networks, him, does not panic.
He's been walking around with a bottle in his pocket for a long time.
And for years, he has known perfectly the hidden dens of viruses, bacteria and microbes, which he dodges when he cannot exterminate them.
In the office?
Every morning, he comes with his own computer, and cleans every key with an antibacterial wipe.
There you have it, the day can start safely.
“But when I see my colleagues turn around and shake their keyboard full of crumbs, I don't feel well,” he says.
Aperitifs with friends?
He never plunges his hand into a packet of crisps where gourmets stretch out their arms until they grab the last one.
At the coffee shop?
Mistrust, the "peanuts and popcorn" brought with his drink leave without being consumed.
In the subway?
As a rule of thumb, never grab the dreaded metal bar where users stick their hands.
Sometimes things get tough, but every obstacle is cleverly tackled.
At the cash machine, Abder taps his code with the corner of his wallet, the elevator button with his key.
It's because the devil is hiding in the details.
Justine, relieved not to shake hands anymore
So when he sees the TV commercials repeating sneezing into his elbow and washing his hands well, Abder would almost laugh at this amateurism.
“What we forget to say is that once they are clean, nothing should be touched.
Neither the remote control at home, nor his cell phone, nor the salt and pepper at the restaurant, ”he smiles, aware of his tics.
And to think that his mocking family nicknamed him "Monk", from the name of this private detective, paralyzed by tocs, in a detective series.
It was before France started to polish, clean, disinfect.
Mocked yesterday, rehabilitated today.
"We can say that it is our revenge," smiles Abder, satisfied with "this awareness" that he hopes will last.
Justine, she is especially relieved to no longer shake sweaty hands and stick her face to all cheeks.
The company fell into line, facilitating the expression of its hypochondria.
“This epidemic gives us legitimacy,” she says.
Before, when I asked my friends to wash their hands when I got home, I was afraid they would take it badly, now I dare.
"
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No one looks at her strangely anymore when she opens the metro latch with her elbow, a habit taken since moving to Paris ten years ago.
With the emergence of the coronavirus, it still had to raise its level of requirements.
“I disinfect all my groceries with a damp cloth soaked in bleach.
We are always one step ahead!
She prides herself.
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As for Nikola
(the first name has been changed)
, 32, a bank employee, he too has adapted his behavior to the threat, going - you never know - as far as disinfecting his keys.
Otherwise he always cleans, with the same military rigor, his apartment without forgetting "the little crank of the blinds" of his windows.
In the street, you will never see him bring his hand near the escalators or the banisters.
And in the toilets of his office, “this bacteria killer”, as he calls himself, always plays the tightrope walker opening the door handle of “the right basketball”.
“It's psychological!
He warns.
And when you have to press the flush, it's your finger armed with a good layer of toilet paper.
Something has changed all the same, the boy who went on dates several times a week only took the risk three times since October, carefully masked obviously, and outside.
Without regret.
The epidemic is a case of force majeure, right?
"The French are going to be in much better health"
If these three hygiene freaks, spared by the Covid, see the world prove them right, there are some reservations.
All deplore gross errors.
Nikola is shocked to still notice sportsmen "spitting on the field" of the stadium where he trains outdoors.
Justine is indignant against "those who lower their masks and scratch their noses".
And Abder, remains speechless in the face of "carelessness in hand washing".
Of course, there is progress, but the task remains immense.
Maniaquerie has therefore become a quality?
Crazy reasonable people?
"Yes, they are badly right", exclaims the doctor Frédéric Saldmann, specialist in hygiene.
“Since the advent of antibiotics in the 1960s, these good practices had been lost, today everyone coughs in their elbow and washes their hands, resulting in hardly any gastroenteritis or flu. .
I tell myself that the French are going to be in much better health ", rejoices the doctor who concedes that" the way of learning is a little harsh ".
For him, too, it's a form of revenge.
“Fifteen years that I campaign to improve hygiene.
Here is my dream come true ... Finally.
"
