Emilia vexler
03/12/2021 2:51 PM
Clarín.com
Society
Updated 03/12/2021 2:51 PM
At 82 years old, Alberto Cormillot confirmed that he will become a father again.
The prestigious nutritionist announced this Friday that he is expecting a baby with Estefanía Pasquini, his wife 48 years younger.
In the midst of the coronavirus pandemic,
becoming a father while being part of the risk group
is not a minor issue.
But, beyond Covid-19 and this particular celebrity, the Psychology experts interviewed by
Clarín
allow us a walk through an almost unknown world:
the challenge of being a father after the 80s
.
"The idea was to confirm it after three months and yesterday Guillermo Andino asked me if there were plans and I could not say no and next week tell them," said Cormillot in Cada Mañana, Marcelo Longobardi's cycle on Radio Miter, about why broke the news a couple of weeks in advance.
But he also explained that the baby, who is due to be due in October, was wanted.
“Estefanía is young, she is very excited about what would be her first child and so am I.
It is spoken, it is not a surprise
",
Cormillot has three granddaughters, twins April and Zoe, and Emma.
He is the father of René and Adrián, from his relationship with Monika Arborgast, who passed away in 2017. He said that he has already spoken with his wife about what the organization will be like when the baby is born.
"We also made an agreement regarding diapers and household chores and
quite possibly he is not that helpful
," he admitted.
But beyond the corporeal, what happens in the psyche of a person who becomes a father when, always according to social mandates,
is older than being a grandfather or great-grandfather
.
"All men want to
extend masculinity as much as possible
. It is the most typical narcissistic trait of the gender. One aspect is that generational continuity to which we aspire. It is to triumph over time, over the biological. But the most dramatic thing about losing A father is to know that that father, if he has been since his 80 years, will be lost before. That is a drama that the son will suffer in the future -in elementary school, when he rationally compares himself with his friends- and in which the father thinks today ", explains to
Clarín
Andrés Rascovsky, pediatrician, psychonalist and former president of the Argentine Psychoanalytic Association (APA).
In psychology nothing is linear.
Not literal.
That is why it is a discipline that uses so many metaphors and characters from Greek mythology.
As the figure of the "never old father", explains Rascovzky, from Zeus.
"That father of the gods and men who is always young, who never grows old. The father of 80 feels in the double situation of being a father and a grandfather."
And punctually, another: the Fountain of Youth, "the one from which one drinks and remains vital."
Like the new parenthood in the third age?
Again, nothing is linear.
What is certain, according to Rascovsky, is that the older father will lack vitality, at best, in physical embodiment.
"In the process in which the son identifies with the father, it is not convenient for this to happen: 'My father is me. If my father is not powerful, I am not powerful," he details.
Cormillot, skilled in the media but also a doctor, did not wait for the questions and spoke directly on this topic.
“We made several agreements.
I wake up at 3:45, so I can't get up at night.
What I'm thinking about is where in the house I am going to put a sofa bed, ”he said.
Estefanía and Alberto have known each other since 2012, when she started working at his clinic.
The relationship was initially between a boss and an employee, and in 2018
a relationship began that was always in the news
.
They were married on December 8, 2019 and when asked about the age difference between them, the doctor said: “For me it was a normal wedding, we celebrated love.
One does not think about the identity card, it is related to the person, period
”.
The nutritionist, at this time, in addition to receiving congratulations, is also a focus of prejudice in the networks.
"
The youth of the father or mother is not a guarantee of good parenting.
Among young couples there are great conflicts that can be harmful to their children, then, on the issue of the age to be a father, there are certain predominance of models, of stereotypes "It is known or assumed that the age to be a father is such and not another." But the physiognomy of families changed over time and is still undergoing transformation. To deal with patients, professionals must free ourselves from these prejudices, seeing particularities, without critical glances ", says María Fernanda Rivas, APA psychoanalyst and author of the book" La Familia y la Ley. Conflictos-Transformaciones.
The traditional model is based on biology
, on the father and mother gender model and procreation carried out at a certain age.
For both sexes.
But, above all, for women.
"The look of the environment has a lot to do with these issues. Because, of course, a father at the age of 82 causes concern, curiosity, and criticism. This couple, this family, is encouraged to challenge 'ideal' models. Paternity is not exclusive to a certain age. There are parents who, biologically, would be of an age to bond with their children in a bodily way that, due to certain inhibitions, they are unable to do so. It has to do with the role of the father, not with age or physical capacities ", details.
There returns nonlinear psychology.
Not literal.
The "parental role".
The symbolic.
"Not only in their physical aspect, but also emotionally. And also the importance of the mother transmitting to the son or daughter the existence of the father figure. That he respects and values that figure in his mind and transmits a version that is functional, more beyond the physical existence of that father. And of his vital capacities. Because that father, over 80, is going to have a shorter existence ", closes the expert.
The "parental role" is timeless.
He does not die with "the father."
Nor does it die in the children.
ACE
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