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Dieter Bohlen, chief juror in 18 seasons of »DSDS« (archive picture from 2005)
Photo: Rolf Vennenbernd / picture-alliance / dpa
Sometimes you could almost feel sorry for him.
Whenever a "Dietäää!" Hooting Flitzpiepe appeared at the "Deutschland sucht den Superstar" casting, mainly to see Bohlen for real, which is why the jury board had to be ripped off once again.
It is certainly not nice to live in so many minds as a whisperable shrinkage of oneself.
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Mostly, however, the empathy with Dieter Bohlen was limited when in the past 19 years and almost 18 seasons »DSDS« was the loud, rough chunk of prodigy.
He only knew two modes: Either he was "touched" by the vocal rehearsal, or he was not.
If he didn't like it, Bohlen unpacked the nastiness that has long been typical of his brand, which it is so difficult to imagine that there are actually people who find these ordinary jokes amusing.
Often they were soft targets, at which Bohlen fired, unsuspecting crooked voices with slipped self-assessment, waved gleefully through from production to the jury desk, where they were then programmatically humiliated by Bohlen.
Perhaps the cruel "pop titan" has been an indispensable part of private television in recent years because he is the embodiment of one of the main reproaches that can be made to certain formats: that they only guide people in front of the camera so that they can see theirs Mercilessly illuminating weaknesses and insecurities - for the fun of others.
Allegedly that should be different at RTL, that's why people are cleared out.
The fact that Austeiler Bohlen, 67, of all people, fell ill on time and therefore cannot attend his own dismantling, smells strongly of offended liver sausage.
Instead of the real Bohlens, one could simply put a bot in the semifinals and finals of »DSDS«, which one has fixed on top of its classic malice patterns.
Corresponding examples can be found in abundance in various best-of-insult collections on the Internet.
There are the Assi-Asmussers, rattling puns like “Yes, your talent shone.
Unfortunately due to absence «and» You just have nothing on it, except maybe dental plaque «.
Then there were the occasional sexism thumpers like "You get a little yes from the big Dieter, and a big yes from the little Dieter" or egomaniacal burps like "I would also get five kilograms of minced meat in the charts."
Psychologically interesting may be the conspicuous joy with which Bohlen reached into the faeces barrel - with ratings such as "If you sing 3,000 percent better, you could possibly get shit" or "You screw up your eyes like I do poop".
Other body calamities were also gladly accepted: "We're looking for volcanic eruptions here and not farting fountains." Bohlen occasionally also dragged uninvolved animals into it, for example when he said with rare benevolence: "Even my budgie wouldn't get so high if I hit it kick.
You surprised me!"
Who stayed was Bohlen - until now
»DSDS« could have been interesting if Bohlen had been assigned an equally opinionated jury member, albeit with a slightly different taste.
But as much as Bohlen liked to demand a profile of his own with the much-invoked "rough edges" from his senior singers, he did not tolerate insubordination or even contradictions in the jury.
Which is why, for example, actor and musician Max von Thun dropped his jury office after the first casting in 2008.
The chemistry between him and Bohlen was not right, said RTL.
»DSDS« actually started with a plausible jury in 2002: Dieter Bohlen, a successful music producer, Thomas Stein, head of a large record company, music journalist Shona Fraser and radio presenter Thomas Bug formed the premiere panel in the first season, and in In this constellation, you could almost believe that something like an expert judgment should really be at stake here.
The jury line-up became more and more erratic over the course of the seasons, but of course it also reflected the general development of the music industry: Record companies lost their power as gatekeepers over who is successful.
And so in the end, next to Bohlen and Maite Kelly, the young pop singer Mike Singer, 21, sat in the jury, who had already reached over a million fans on Instagram in 2016 with his cover versions and self-produced songs - at that time without a record deal.
In between, curious casts like "GNTM" catchphrase reciter Bruce Darnell and in this environment irritating celebrities like Heino took their places at the jury desk.
Who stayed was Bohlen, who not only judged, but also traditionally forced the winner with the song of her first single.
Although his »DSDS« compositions were no longer a guarantee for a number one hit.
Marie Wegener reached 7th place in 2018 with »Königlich«, Davin Herbrüggen only 34th place in 2019 with »The River«. First pop singer Ramon Roselly made it back to 1st place in 2020 with »Eine Nacht«. But that didn't really matter because Bohlen already Heidi Klum was looking for a top model for as long as he was seriously looking for a superstar.
Cheeky demarcation template
Why did he stay while chairs were constantly being moved around him?
Because Bohlen also became the iconic figure of private television because he had a suitable reception offer for every type of viewer.
Some admired him as "Dietäää!" Or at least celebrated him ironically.
If you didn't like Bohlen, he was at least useful as a pop-pop demarcation template.
On top of that there was Bohlen’s nostalgic value, which should not be underestimated: In the present-tormented, retro-blissful look back, sometimes even his modern-talking songs seem enjoyable.
Whether there will be »DSDS« without him is only moderately exciting.
TV veteran Thomas Gottschalk will represent him in the next two live shows, what comes next is open.
The loss of the shipment would be manageable.
Especially since a golden sentence from Bohlen's "DSDS" power ballad "We Have a Dream", which he supposedly should have performed in the finale of the current season together with some winners from previous years, would comfort you anyway: "Music will survive" .