Many parents regularly question whether they are raising their children properly and preparing them well enough for life.
Education experts reveal tips that can help them on their way.
For many parents it is a life task that is associated with ups and downs: raising their own child.
And if you were to survey parents about what they want for their child, the answer would probably be the same for many: "the best for my child".
But what exactly is the best?
This can pose challenges for some of today's legal guardians.
While in previous generations it seemed best for children to have basic needs met, i.e. enough to eat, a safe home and an education, experts say that today it is about much more.
These are basic social-emotional needs of children that many parents would like to meet, but are not always able to reliably implement in practice.
Proper handling of children: Educators advise against three parenting mistakes
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The way parents communicate with their child and the extent to which they respond with empathy is often the key to whether or not the child wants to cooperate.
© Ute Grabowsky/photothek.de/Imago
In most cases, parents play a very important role in their own upbringing.
What people experience as children with their parents, they often pass on to their own offspring - the good things, but also so-called educational mistakes.
Although one would like to assume that most parents raise children correctly and well, there can be less good or even harmful to the child's development behaviors established in family life that can damage the child's self-confidence and self-esteem.
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Lack of sleep, loneliness, mental load: what ten things parents with children imagined differently
Lack of sleep, loneliness, mental load: what ten things parents with children imagined differently
According to experts, which parenting mistakes parents avoid despite the stress, exhaustion, pressure and strong emotions of the child and which tips they should consider:
1. Communicate openly and clearly with your child
Anke Precht, qualified psychologist and mother of three children, knows from experience how important correct and open communication with children is.
Communicating openly does not only apply to parents - children should also be taught that they can talk openly about everything that concerns them, the good, bad and sad things.
Every feeling should be given the space it needs, which is important for a person's healthy social-emotional development.
This also means that parents encourage their children to show their feelings openly and to be able to stand up for their point of view.
At the same time, it is important that there is clear communication, that things are brought to the point in a child-friendly way so as not to confuse or unsettle the child.
Parents should always try
2. Don't overprotect your child out of fear and worry
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Bastian Willenborg is a specialist in psychosomatic medicine, psychiatry and psychotherapy, author and father of two children.
He takes the stance that parents should try not to raise their child out of fear or worry as this can harm the child in the long term.
Concern that nothing “decent” will come of your own child, fear that the child will not do well at school, will not learn a decent job, in the best case will study.
“My mother is in her early to mid 70s and of course she grew up in a different time, in the post-war period.
The framework conditions were of course completely different back then and this generation often experienced suffering, which of course also shaped the upbringing.
And although the framework conditions have changed significantly, there are sometimes concerns and fears
that you may have experienced through your own parents, on to your own children.
This is a point where you can really say: is that necessary?
Is it really what my daughter or son needs now?
Or is it actually my concern, my fear.”
3. Never compare your child to others
The family and education consultant Jan-Uwe Rogge deals with the topic of "comparing children" and knows what the background of comparisons by parents is.
He has dealt with the consequences of comparing one another and can assess why it is important not to compare children with one another.
He knows from experience that many parents don't want to compare their children at all, just as they don't want to be compared to other parents themselves.
The background is a mirror of self-doubt, which is then held up to the parents concerned.
"The problem is: Many parents only see the deficits in their children and in themselves." 'What am I doing wrong?'
or 'Why isn't it working so well for me?' are the subconscious questions
It is important that parents not only see their child as an individual, but also themselves. Every mother, every father, every pair of parents goes their own way, just as every child develops differently.
The educational adviser appeals that parents should initially focus more on the child's strengths and provide incentives and ideas for things that the child may not yet be able to do so well.
However, always with the tolerance and acceptance that the child may develop less strengths in new things than other children.
This article only contains general information on the respective health topic and is therefore not intended for self-diagnosis, treatment or medication. In no way does it replace a visit to the doctor. Unfortunately, our editorial team cannot answer individual questions about clinical pictures.
List of rubrics: © Ute Grabowsky/photothek.de/Imago