Mother and baby (Photo: ShutterStock)
A new mother faces a demanding adjustment period after giving birth.
Physically, she is recovering from pregnancy and childbirth, and needs recovery time.
At the same time, her brain is exposed after birth to a dramatic hormonal drop that makes it difficult for her to regulate the intensity of her emotions.
All this, when the mother's routine is characterized by complete chaos - there is no day or night.
The mother lives under constant disturbance, when at any moment she may be called to feed, change a diaper, or bear an agonizing cry without knowing how to soothe.
While during pregnancy the mother was under escort and surveillance, after the birth her needs are no longer the main thing.
She must devote herself to the care of a helpless baby, regardless of her mental or physical condition.
And all this in relative solitude, without a surrounding community, and without clear guidance.
Therefore, it is not surprising that one in five women who give birth will experience a variety of essential mental difficulties (anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder and more).
The complex mental phenomenon was given the (catchy) name "anxiety and mood disorders in the perinatal period (surrounding pregnancy and childbirth)".
Obsessive thoughts
One of the patterns that considerably harms the quality of life of mothers (especially after a first birth), is "obsessive thoughts" which are disturbing, repetitive thoughts, such as: "Maybe I will throw the child out the window at night when he cries and I can't control myself", "Maybe he will be kidnapped In the garden", "Maybe he will drown in the bathtub".
These thoughts of doubt that permeate her mind, are not experienced as normal thoughts that come and go.
The disturbing nature makes the thoughts feel tangible, realistic and almost prophetic and therefore very frightening.
This pattern of worrying about harm that might happen to a toddler is very common.
About 85% of the parents experience a marked normative increase in the disturbing thoughts after the birth.
Washing hands frequently (Photo: ShutterStock)
There is a fine line that separates the responses
There is a fine line that distinguishes between normative anxiety reactions and reactions that cause suffering and make it difficult for the mother to function.
For some women, the emotional arousal will increase and be accompanied by an incessant flood of disturbing thoughts about disasters that may happen to the baby.
This can be expressed as disturbing thoughts, as difficult visions, or as a constant feeling that "something very wrong is going to happen".
The mother herself can understand that the baby is safe and that her thoughts do not make sense, but she may still be very threatened by their content.
Actress Brooke Shields previously marveled that "During what became one of the darkest points of my life, I sat holding my baby and I couldn't escape the image of her flying through the air and hitting the wall in front of me. The wall became a video game, with her little body hitting the surface and sliding down to the floor. I was horrified, and although I knew I wouldn't hurt her, the picture destroyed me."
Mothers who have these experiences, try to defend themselves against the disasters that may happen.
To this end, they resort to different behaviors whose purpose, apparently, is to protect the baby.
During pregnancy, they can wash their hands frequently, get repeated tests at the medical center, limit the food they eat or the cosmetics they consume.
After the birth, they may verify with professionals that the care of the baby is proper and that it is developing properly, search for "reassuring" information on Google, make sure that the baby breathes at night, keep sharp objects away from the house, etc.
"I was so worried that the baby would catch something, I could almost see the germs on his hands when I knew they were dirty. And when people would come, it was great because finally I wasn't so alone, but they would bring dirt from the street with them, and then I had to clean again from the beginning.."
The threatening thoughts make it difficult for the mother to trust herself, fearing that she herself will harm the child.
Therefore, she will try not to be left alone with him and will ask people around her to accompany her throughout the day, especially during "dangerous" activities such as baths or a walk outside.
Sometimes, the harassed mother will reduce her involvement in raising the child and will avoid feeding, playing, changing diapers and will have difficulty establishing full contact with the baby.
This reduction has a negative effect on the development of the maternal identity - the mother who does not experience her various roles, does not experience successes that strengthen her sense of ability, and doubts herself more and more: "What does it mean about me that I am busy with this? If this is how I think, then what kind of mother am I, to other women There are no such thoughts."
Most of the time, women are ashamed to tell the horrible thoughts to the people around them and moreover they refuse to talk about it with professionals, for fear that they will be misunderstood and labeled as crazy / unfit.
"I was charged, on high alert. I kept having thoughts about knocking him down the stairs, drowning him. You get to a point where you have no idea who you are then you don't trust yourself either. You no longer recognize yourself, because the woman you thought you knew is alive She wouldn't have thought such thoughts about her child."
A wide-ranging phenomenon
Many professionals are not aware of the phenomenon or its dimensions.
Only in recent years have the high percentages of women who suffer become apparent: between 9% and 14% of women who give birth experience a severe episode of mental harassment that is diagnosed as obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
Therefore, women who come to family doctors, gynecologists and even psychologists, will not necessarily be identified as needing help (but as worried mothers at most).
In the absence of public awareness of the issue, many women do not understand what is happening to them, find it difficult to share their surroundings and receive support, and they become isolated, threatened and feel great guilt - for the very mother they are.
Lectures to raise awareness are essential to the mental health of many mothers.
The members of the Forum for Pregnant and Postpartum Women, led by Vizo, invite those interested to lectures on the topic during the Mothers' Mental Health Awareness Week.
For all lectures: https://bit.ly/Mom_Nefesh
Inbar Farid Zaig and Dr. Anat Kermon Presser are part of the team leading the "Women's Space" - a center that specializes in treating women and provides training and training in the field.
health
Pregnancy and Birth
Tags
pregnancy
birth
OCD