Not only the sea, the pool and fun: the youth went on vacation and the release from the frameworks brings with it many challenges, both for them and for their parents. Many times parents will find themselves helpless in trying to maintain social relationships, maintain a daily routine and create meaning for the long days.
"There are children, especially teenagers, whose lack of employment causes them to live a lifestyle that is not healthy for them, to turn day and night, irregular hours of sleep and eating, and a paucity of social interaction and activity outside the home," says Yiftach Goldin of Enosh's Headspace Center in Tel Aviv.
"One of the main challenges that youth face in freedom is the social issue. At school they meet friends regularly, but on vacation it's more challenging. Sometimes the distance between friends makes it difficult to meet, sometimes the occupations of the friends and sometimes there is simply no one to meet because there is no strong group of friends. Once the central framework in our lives abruptly stops for a long period of time, many of us can feel meaningless. The need to find meaning comes in a variety of forms: whether taking part in a completely different framework or spending time with friends and searching for new experiences."
Finding meaning for the days // Photo: GettyImages
So what do we do?
"Parents should raise possible difficulties at the beginning of vacation. Even if there is no problem and this is a completely normative child or teenager, it is worth thinking about how to create a framework that preserves a reasonable lifestyle. It can be through activities in a class, work or youth movement, and it can also be through helping at home, taking the dog out, looking after younger siblings, preparing meals, being responsible for shopping, etc. In adolescence, it is no longer relevant to reach out to friends, but it is possible to suggest reaching out on their own and initiating social gatherings. In addition, parents should be free to spend time with their children during the holidays at home when they return from work and to make time for family outings together. Interaction with the family is very important and it is worth insisting on it and creating opportunities and joint activities."
How do you create an activity that interests teenagers?
"You should let them dictate the activities they are interested in and not try to push them into other things. You can offer of course, but if you refuse not to press. In general, it is important to remember to take time with them and dedicate time to them. In freedom, youth need more attention because they don't have other significant adults that they usually have, such as teachers, counselors in a group or youth movement."
Screen as a connector tool
Goldin argues that it is worthwhile to live in peace with the preoccupation of children and adolescents with screens. "Video games, phones and television are a key part of freedom, and like anything, it's important to be on it in non-judgmental communication. The screen will remain part of our lives, so it is worthwhile to turn it into a tool that will create a connection, not a distance."
Connector Tool,
When should you help them stop using?
"When we see that they're upset when they're on the phone and there's nothing else to do. It is also important to always remind them and us that what you see on social media is not reality itself.
"As parents, it's important to continue to be present in their lives, to ask what's going on, who they're dating, and if they're sharing first, listen, share our experience and not judge or get angry. It's also important to mention that we're here for everything."
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