They do us harm, and we continue to see them. Videos of horrors on social media/ShutterStock
"Ever since I saw the video on Telegram about a dead IDF soldier whose body was thrown on the road by Hamas, I can't function, I can't devote myself to children and I can't get the picture out of my head."
For many of us, this phrase echoes a personal experience. In these terrible days, we are exposed to many horrific videos on electronic media and social networks. Some of us try to avoid watching, but many of us find ourselves seeing more than we would like, feeling the urge to see in order to understand the extent of the horror, or having trouble stopping. Videos like these have a dramatic impact on our consciousness and mental well-being. They can lead to unbearable emotions, impaired functioning and even long-term post-traumatic reactions.
The Price of Watching Media During Trauma and War
In the old days, we consumed news of disasters from the screen, almost always after it had been edited. Today, in the age of social networks, there are no restrictions on censorship and we are exposed to horrific news and videos, images of victims, destruction, abuse, execution as well as grief-stricken relatives searching for their loved ones - intrusive and overwhelming visual materials that the human brain is difficult to grasp.
At times like these, many people may overuse social media, both in terms of frequency and intensity of content, in an attempt to alleviate their emotional distress. This is based on the misconception that if they know more, they will experience less uncertainty and have a greater sense of control. However, various studies show that exposure in the media and social networks to horrifying information, photos and videos from disaster zones and wars, terror attacks or other types of severe violence can lead to severe emotional distress and even post-traumatic symptoms.
According to various studies, some of us may suffer from long-term effects such as negative stress, anxiety reactions and later also post-traumatic stress symptoms (such as flashbacks and nightmares, avoidant behavior, arousal and heightened alertness, which also include physical symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, sweating, and difficult emotions such as helplessness and depression). For example, it was found that about one-fifth of all those exposed to atrocities in the media developed a range of symptoms consistent with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after a disaster, even though none of the study participants were present at the traumatic event and none of them had a traumatic past. This situation, in which a person develops post-traumatic symptoms after being exposed to the details of a traumatic event even if he was not present at the event and posed no danger, but from secondary exposure such as treating trauma victims or viewing through various types of media, has received the name secondary traumatization in the world of treatment and research.
In addition to the negative effects mentioned, overexposure to such content in the media erodes our sense of basic security, can lead to intense feelings of anger, frustration, fear and helplessness, and the formation of catastrophic scenarios for the future. All these increase emotional distress and affect various areas of functioning. In general, the study shows that the higher the consumption of threatening information and the more intense the intensity of the content presented in it, the greater the emotional distress and with it the chance of significant psychological damage.
"I'm upset because I saw a shocking video and my reaction is normal. I'll get over it"/ShutterStock
For those of us who are parents of children, there may be an additional cost to overuse of media. Naturally, as part of security behavior in order to increase the experience of control during this turbulent time, many parents cling to the media and mobile phone to get information and cope with the experience of uncertainty, sometimes obsessively. In my previous article (Apple, 2022), I addressed the fact that the massive adoption of mobile devices and their penetration into interpersonal interaction within the family clearly impairs parent-child attachment experiences, consistency of parenting behaviors, and a child's trust in the parent. These can in turn lead to impairment of the normal development of the child's nervous system, difficulties in social, cognitive and emotional development, difficulties in emotional regulation, behavioral problems, and even depression and anxiety.
From all this, it is of great importance to alert consumers of various types of media to the possible negative consequences of too frequent media use, especially viewing horrific content. This is true in general, and especially in times of extreme violence and terrorist acts such as now, when such content is widespread and very accessible. But in order to avoid or reduce the costs involved, it is worth not only paying attention, but also taking active action. Here's how to act:
Avoid sitting for long periods in front of the TV or mobile
Despite the need for security behaviors at this time and the urge to keep up to date with the news as much as possible, to see videos, photos, stories and descriptions related to the disaster that befell us, it is recommended to reduce them significantly. It is important to keep up to date with what happens once every two or three hours, as part of our ability to organize our lives accordingly, but it is recommended to keep up to date with headlines only and avoid sitting for a long time in front of the TV or mobile screen that is flooded with difficult content, which, as mentioned, affects us negatively. This is especially true for older people and young people who have gone through previous traumas and viewing violent and difficult information can activate them and increase symptoms of anxiety and later post-traumatic stress disorder, especially in times of trauma and disaster.
When we are with the children or with the couple, or others in the family, it is recommended to be in full presence without interference of distractors. It is not about such a 24-hour presence, but about the ability to fully direct attention to certain moments during the day. If we are in a game, be there in full attendance; If your spouse or child is talking to me - be in full presence. When the urge to catch up increases, it's best to say that I need time for myself to avoid the other person possibly attributing that I don't care about them. In this context, children especially need our continuous presence these days. As mentioned, this presence does not have to be all hours of the day, but when it does exist it is important that the children feel that the parent sees them, that he is attentive to them and that they are not left alone during such a difficult and confusing time.
And how should you react when someone in your family or relatives is still exposed to a difficult substance and responds with increased arousal and difficulty functioning? I will propose below an intervention that can be applied in response.
Here's how to help those exposed to atrocities
Exposure to difficult content in the media may produce various immediate expressions of distress such as increased physical arousal, low mood, and more. For some of us (and certainly for those who were in the disaster itself), the sympathetic, turbulent and survival nervous system is still massively activated, all the more so in the conditions of uncertainty and vigilance in the face of events on the southern and northern fronts. This system is activated in the body in any situation of threat in order to prepare us for maximum vigilance in the face of possible danger. Because of the continued state of danger in times of war, our body is not calm and sometimes makes it difficult for us to function. In such a situation, it is of utmost importance to regulate all systems in the body, especially after exposure to difficult content in the media. Regulation is related to the activation of the parasympathetic system, which is calm and opposite to the turbulent sympathetic system. This is the system that allows us to function properly and the ability to realize the goals that are important to us.
For post-exposure regulation, I propose an intervention consisting of three stages:
1. The rapid construction of the story of the event in order to create a logical order and the creation of a coherent narrative in the thought processes.
2. Using the NTA model (normalization - validity - hope), preferably while embracing for a long time, to increase the sense of security in conditions of stress and uncertainty, reduce the feeling of loneliness and be oriented to action.
3. Operation of a BID model for regulating and actively exiting a state of helplessness to action and capability.
The calming models - NTA and BID / Walla! system, Graphics: Walla!
A person close to me is currently exposed to difficult content that shakes him and he reacts with increased arousal, or who reports that since seeing a video or other content he is unable to function.
Me: "What did you see? What did you hear?"
He: "I have just heard shocking testimony from the massacre in Bari" (and he elaborated - for the benefit of readers, I will not detail the horror).
Me:(trying to create a sequence in a story that is usually described in a very diffuse and emotional way while at the same time reducing feelings of loneliness): "So while you were watching TV, you heard testimony of... Who told about... It really is shocking and horrible. But I'm here with you and we're fine. Sometimes a hug really helps. Is it possible"?
Within the hug, it is advisable to activate the Natat model (for those who do not want a hug - it is important to try to hold a hand or both hands):
Me: "The video you saw was very difficult and it is natural and normal that you are upset now. I'm with you, you're not alone. Let's think about what will help you now. How about we make coffee together?" The goal of such an intervention is to validate the experience of the other while attempting to bring him out of a state of helplessness towards action and increasing self-efficacy.
Within the embrace, the BID model can also be activated in favor of the processes of regulation and transition from the turbulent sympathetic nervous system to the calmer parasympathetic system in the body. For this purpose, it is recommended to take a large breath through the nose, hold the air in the stomach and exhale very slowly the air out through the mouth. In addition, it is recommended to find a coping sentence (self-instruction) in order to move from a state of helplessness to a state of competence in preparation for active goal-oriented action (Apple, 2020).
The chosen self-instruction is said while exhaling the air out. Such as: "I'm upset because I saw a shocking video and my reaction is normal. I'll get over it," preferably a short sentence that increases coping ability, such as: "I can cope." It is important that a person's self-instruction be his, from his world of concepts, and therefore one can ask: "What can you say to yourself right now that will give you strength? That will make you stronger?"
Once regulation has been achieved, the ability to function increases and it is important to act towards something that is important to me and has value and meaning. For example: "I know it's important to you that the kids feel good, maybe we should go and hug them?", or: "I know how much you love baking, let's bake your cheesecake that I like best."
In all these interventions, it is of utmost importance to convey appropriate nonverbal messages. A helpless person needs someone to lean on. It needs a security experience. We are in the midst of terrible days that have not yet been seen here and it is perfectly fine to cry and express a painful emotion, but at the same time, try not to get sucked into the helplessness of the other and create an experience of security and protection for him.
Dr. Naomi Appel is an expert social worker and instructor in cognitive behavioral therapy, director of the Methods Institute and director of the program for parental, couple and family therapy in the Israeli program for training therapists in the cognitive behavioral approach at Tel Hashomer. Faculty member and lecturer at the School of Public Health at the Faculty of Medicine at Tel Aviv University
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