Pro-Palestinian demonstration in London, November 11, 2023/Twitter
An Australian Jewish barber who donated sperm to a lesbian couple was shocked when he received a text message from them last month informing him that they no longer wanted to use his sperm. The reason - the current conflict in Gaza. Jay Lazarus, 37, a South African-born gay Jewish man who grew up in Australia, told The Post he was left confused by their decision.
The journey began in October 2022 when the Perth-based stylist, who knew he had always wanted to donate sperm to help couples, joined a Facebook group that helps couples find sperm donors. Lazarus says he was surprised by the story of a couple in Queensland and decided he wanted to help them.
Lazarus went through months of genetic testing, medical tests and one-on-one counseling sessions with his partner. He also became close to the pair of women, talked to them on Zoom chats and kept in touch weekly via text messages and calls.
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The couple knew from the beginning that Lazarus was Jewish. He was also very open about how much they would want him in the child's life. He is happy to be an "uncle" figure who will become famous as the biological father or, if they prefer, not to make contact at all.
He donated sperm in September 2023 and was immediately frozen for three months until further tests were done.
After October 7, Lazarus shared pro-Israel Instagram posts, none of them critical of the Palestinian people. The spouses did not mention or comment on the posts. However, the relationship was cut off last month when the couple abruptly texted him. They expressed "deep gratitude" and admitted that he had been "absolutely amazing throughout this journey", they did not feel comfortable continuing to use his sperm to conceive, because they were "deeply affected" by the "war between Israel and Gaza". "We are a rabbit hole with the depth of our emotions and ethical challenges," the text reads in part. "And honestly, we feel very confused."
They emphasized that they were motivated by "love and kindness" but didn't feel they had "the ability to navigate parts of their identity in this relationship with the donor, so they decided to end it with dignity."
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Lazarus was devastated for weeks before deciding to share his story on social media to "share what I've learned." "Prejudice is still compelling, even in progressive circles that advocate 'kindness and love,'" he wrote. "Anti-Semitism is not only a relic of the past, but a living, breathing prejudice that persists today. He admitted that he "can't change their outlook" but "I refuse to let that diminish my pride or lose hope. I'm proud to be gay, proud to be Jewish, and proud to stand up against hate."
Lazarus says he only received supportive comments and "there wasn't a single negative reaction. Which is an amazing thing."
And what about the cancelling couple? Lazarus says he heard from the Queenslanders, who sent him a message, but admits he hasn't opened it yet. "I'm in Melbourne now," he explained, "and I'm having fun with my friends. I don't want to ruin my weekend and be angry."
- More on the subject:
- Sperm donation
- Pregnancy
- Gay
- Lesbian
- seed
- War in Gaza
- antisemitism